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Some people have bad motivations, but that is not true for everyone saying these things. I had no choice, I couldn't do anything but start a business, I was a

Some people have bad motivations, but that is not true for everyone saying these things. I had no choice, I couldn't do anything but start a business, I was a failure as an employee because of how I looked at life and the process of building/creating. I was always at odds with my employers to make things work better. (I was told to work slower and less hard because I made others look bad sigh) So what do you say to someone like me? I need to hear "you can do it" because even though I am inclined to do it anyways, it's still really hard to build your own business. This kind of information is incredibly helpful (encouraging) for me in my situation at this point in time. For many others it's not good advice.

mettamage 7y ago
You seem like a fun person to have a conversation with! I kind of feel to be in a bit of a similar predicament. If you're up for it, my email is in my profile.
afarrell 7y ago
But when you started your business, was it: - With a goal of supporting your health and personal needs - An exercise of your own judgement, where your decisions were based on your own huristics for evaluating reality? When you looked at something and thought "this is, based on my genuine judgement, impossible" did you decide to do something else? Or did you say "I have strong evidence that this cannot possibly work, and I'm really sleep-deprived... but sleep is for the weak and impossible is nothing." and plow onwards relentlessly? If the former: great! If the latter: Thats the problem that I think DayDollar is talking about. It is a pattern that I fell into at MIT -- I took on more commitments than was possible to grow into with the skills I knew how to gain because "impossible is nothing". I was constantly drunk-with-fatigue. I looked for help learning how to write first drafts and got told "just do it!" so I spent hours digging my nails into my skin in front of a blank page. I didn't know how to "do it" but the answer was too obvious for anyone to believe me. I asked for help learning how to manage my time and manage writing. Instead, I got encouragement. The problem with giving advice like "you can do it!" or "start before you think you're ready!" is not that it is wrong. The problem is that it does not assess the situation. Bad advice is a zero-argument function. Good advice recognizes that you are the source of observations about your situation and gives you a tool to do that better. Good advice offers heuristics: fallible methods of solving a problem which rely on human judgement. The author of this piece quotes author David McCullough: > There comes a point where you just have to stop, and start writing. Good advice would be a question to ask to guide someone to realize when they've hit that point. -------- The comment below me by /u/throwaway35784 tells you to do a whole bunch of things and the only thing it asks you to observe about your current situation is "Find a problem you have." Everything else that he says is advice that is often a good idea but depends on the situation.
- RobertRoberts 7y ago
  I think we completely agree on what good advice is, and I think I see where I was missing something before. "You can do it" is not advice per se, it's encouragement. If I am already doing it, or I intend to, or I am trying to or failing, or I am about to quit or not start, "you can do it" helps me not lose hope. It's not technical or directional, it's uplifting. "Someone cares" can be enough to turn my day around when I am on the knife's edge of success and failure. Then I can do what I already know needs to be done. Thanks for your views on how to give good advice, I think they are quite useful.
- marcmerce 7y ago
  "An exercice of your own judgement [...]" Very interesting point. It's a very pragmatic way to test your perception and your judgement on so many level.
throwaway35784 7y ago
> So what do you say to someone like me? Welcome to the club! You are an entrepreneur. It is really hard. Depressingly so sometimes. You are on your own because you can do it! Learn to sell. Learn what selling is. Find a problem you have. Solve it in a repeatable way. Sell the solution. Talk to people. What are their problems? Repeat. Build up multiple cash flows. Software. Real estate. Consulting. Find entrepreneurs near you. Team up. You can do it. Many people way less capable than you are already have. Find an existing solution. Solve it better. You don't have to be first. Just be better. You already are. You can do it. I know you can. Be relentless in the face of overwhelming odds. You can do it! I did. We did. Everyone you know will think you are crazy. You. Are. Not. You are wonderful. You make the world a better place. Keep at it!
- Answerawake 7y ago
  I wanna be like this...but I just don't have the energy and discipline so I have failed before I even began.
  - ozzmotik 7y ago
    we are all born lacking all the things that we currently possess. just because you don't have something right now doesn't mean you can't develop and cultivate it over time. all it takes is being willing to grind and even suffer a little bit if necessary to develop it. i have the same problem myself but im at a crossroads in my life where i just can't sit around being upset with myself for not having the skills and such that i desperately need to live a functional and fulfilling life, so i understand the difficulty. you're not alone. just know that you can do it if you keep on keeping on, i believe in you!
- RobertRoberts 7y ago
  Ha, this is ridiculously cheery. I feel like I shouldn't need this, but I did. Thank you.

mettamage 7y ago

You seem like a fun person to have a conversation with! I kind of feel to be in a bit of a similar predicament. If you're up for it, my email is in my profile.

afarrell 7y ago

But when you started your business, was it: - With a goal of supporting your health and personal needs - An exercise of your own judgement, where your decisions were based on your own huristics for evaluating reality? When you looked at something and thought "this is, based on my genuine judgement, impossible" did you decide to do something else? Or did you say "I have strong evidence that this cannot possibly work, and I'm really sleep-deprived... but sleep is for the weak and impossible is nothing." and plow onwards relentlessly? If the former: great! If the latter: Thats the problem that I think DayDollar is talking about. It is a pattern that I fell into at MIT -- I took on more commitments than was possible to grow into with the skills I knew how to gain because "impossible is nothing". I was constantly drunk-with-fatigue. I looked for help learning how to write first drafts and got told "just do it!" so I spent hours digging my nails into my skin in front of a blank page. I didn't know how to "do it" but the answer was too obvious for anyone to believe me. I asked for help learning how to manage my time and manage writing. Instead, I got encouragement. The problem with giving advice like "you can do it!" or "start before you think you're ready!" is not that it is wrong. The problem is that it does not assess the situation. Bad advice is a zero-argument function. Good advice recognizes that you are the source of observations about your situation and gives you a tool to do that better. Good advice offers heuristics: fallible methods of solving a problem which rely on human judgement. The author of this piece quotes author David McCullough: > There comes a point where you just have to stop, and start writing. Good advice would be a question to ask to guide someone to realize when they've hit that point. -------- The comment below me by /u/throwaway35784 tells you to do a whole bunch of things and the only thing it asks you to observe about your current situation is "Find a problem you have." Everything else that he says is advice that is often a good idea but depends on the situation.

RobertRoberts 7y ago
I think we completely agree on what good advice is, and I think I see where I was missing something before. "You can do it" is not advice per se, it's encouragement. If I am already doing it, or I intend to, or I am trying to or failing, or I am about to quit or not start, "you can do it" helps me not lose hope. It's not technical or directional, it's uplifting. "Someone cares" can be enough to turn my day around when I am on the knife's edge of success and failure. Then I can do what I already know needs to be done. Thanks for your views on how to give good advice, I think they are quite useful.
marcmerce 7y ago
"An exercice of your own judgement [...]" Very interesting point. It's a very pragmatic way to test your perception and your judgement on so many level.

throwaway35784 7y ago

> So what do you say to someone like me? Welcome to the club! You are an entrepreneur. It is really hard. Depressingly so sometimes. You are on your own because you can do it! Learn to sell. Learn what selling is. Find a problem you have. Solve it in a repeatable way. Sell the solution. Talk to people. What are their problems? Repeat. Build up multiple cash flows. Software. Real estate. Consulting. Find entrepreneurs near you. Team up. You can do it. Many people way less capable than you are already have. Find an existing solution. Solve it better. You don't have to be first. Just be better. You already are. You can do it. I know you can. Be relentless in the face of overwhelming odds. You can do it! I did. We did. Everyone you know will think you are crazy. You. Are. Not. You are wonderful. You make the world a better place. Keep at it!

Answerawake 7y ago
I wanna be like this...but I just don't have the energy and discipline so I have failed before I even began.
- ozzmotik 7y ago
  we are all born lacking all the things that we currently possess. just because you don't have something right now doesn't mean you can't develop and cultivate it over time. all it takes is being willing to grind and even suffer a little bit if necessary to develop it. i have the same problem myself but im at a crossroads in my life where i just can't sit around being upset with myself for not having the skills and such that i desperately need to live a functional and fulfilling life, so i understand the difficulty. you're not alone. just know that you can do it if you keep on keeping on, i believe in you!
RobertRoberts 7y ago
Ha, this is ridiculously cheery. I feel like I shouldn't need this, but I did. Thank you.