I recently discovered that the stock i was hand-wavingly promised never materialized. 10 months in to this job it's caused a cascade of reflection and 'why both

I recently discovered that the stock i was hand-wavingly promised never materialized. 10 months in to this job it's caused a cascade of reflection and 'why bother' moments. So first, thanks for this question. At prior jobs, I've hit points of "I dont want to be here, but i'll see it out because of x vesting point." Personal history has shown vesting to be a lottery ticket as has been said elsewhere. Its only paid out once and to the tune of about 4k total. What i've landed on at this job is that I really dislike many aspects of this job; the domain, the location, the open office plan, and a lot of apples-to-apples comparisons when really theres a basket of varied fruits. That said. I get to do work here at my own pace and on my own terms. It's why I took a job at a smaller startup to begin with. Even as I struggle with the finer points (with some other insights in this thread), and moral points aside, I find that a lack of options means I'll at least see the year out here. I gave up a lot to prove myself in a slightly new area of the profession, and that experience is what I'm choosing to use as my "stock" instead.