I thought myself how to code as a kid. My interests pretty quickly converged on AI and I saw academic career as the best path for me. I was fortunate to have a

I thought myself how to code as a kid. My interests pretty quickly converged on AI and I saw academic career as the best path for me. I was fortunate to have a chance to study abroad. I'm Polish and my mother ended up a cleaning lady in Belgium (she lives now better than she did as a shop owner in Poland). I decided to study at Belgian university, KU Leuven. I had to learn Dutch in 9 months, from 0 to academic level, but I failed on 4th out of 5 levels. I went to work at an English speaking startup, but I kept on studding Dutch in evenings, still with the goal of getting a degree and moving to academia. I passed the 4th level, but keep on failing the 5th. I saw a job opening as Software Developer at Dutch speaking KU Leuven team and decided to apply. Even tough I could not get admitted as bachelor of CS, they hired me as software developer. I still work at KU Leuven, I got 3 promotions in a year and a half, but I never managed to get admitted as a student at this university. So, I decided to search for academic luck in the Netherlands. I got to do what I pursued to do for so long - 4 years in total. But to be honest, I'm not happy and I feel like I'm living sunken cost fallacy. Studying is awful! By myself I always studied topic deeply and toughly. I searched for variety of opinions, approaches. I spent as much time as was needed for me to feel like I understand the topic fully - to me it is when I stop encountering novel ideas. I enjoyed freedom of curiosity and learning. Studying, for me, is the opposite. I no no longer master topics. I don't feel like I'm learning. I study to pass dull exams. My learning is shallow. Deadlines and strict curriculum kills my curiosity. The old technique of studying the day before exam, passing and forgetting is back. I still study on my own, the way I always did. I love reading latest papers from Arxiv. I love learning, but I hate studying. The vision of becoming researcher is still in my head and it's the only thing that keeps me from dropping out. But the more I experience academia, the more cynical I become. Also, regarding communication and organization skills. I feel like working thought me a lot more about communication and cooperation than any school project. At work you are around professionals. People want to get things done. There are processes and managers in place. There are people with battle earned experience that you can talk to on daily basis. People who often know a lot more about getting things done than academia people ever will. I literally feel like my random work colleagues could give better lectures about work organizations than the ones I received from some academia people.