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Agree with the conclusion of the article, but many people would have better lives if they reconsidered this “parenting” thing. Are you sure you are cultivating

by jacobr 7y ago

Agree with the conclusion of the article, but many people would have better lives if they reconsidered this “parenting” thing. Are you sure you are cultivating his attention span, or were you both just born like that, and he is getting older and more mature? The hours you spend with your children (5 hours a day would be really difficult with 3 kids) during a couple of years in their childhood is not that important to their adult personality. It’s a combination of traits from birth, which class mates they get, the teachers, if they get sick, infections, siblings, grand parents, media, culture... Personally I enjoy spending time with my kids, so both me and my wife work shorter hours, but it’s to do stuff we all enjoy right now, not to cultivate this or that personality trait. Don’t be a terrible parent, and your kids will turn out whoever they were meant to be. And do the things you and your kids enjoy.

danenania 7y ago
Not to say that we must all spend five hours per day with our kids or they’re doomed, but there actually is research indicating that the first few years of life are disproportionately influential in personality formation.
watwut 7y ago
> Are you sure you are cultivating his attention span, or were you both just born like that, and he is getting older and more mature? That think really works, I encountered the idea first time when I read about Montessory system. I dont know effects in long term, but in short term. If you make it strategy to not break kids attention, kids attention span goes up. If you think about it, the same thing actually works with adults. When you are interrupted every few moments (for example by management, colleges or kid) you have harder time to focus for long spans. Once the interruptions stop, your attention span goes up.
mlyle 7y ago
> Are you sure you are cultivating his attention span, or were you both just born like that, and he is getting older and more mature? Ah, nature vs. nurture-- perhaps not the most novel take. > The hours you spend with your children (5 hours a day would be really difficult with 3 kids) during a couple of years in their childhood is not that important to their adult personality. It’s a combination of traits from birth, which class mates they get, the teachers, if they get sick, infections, siblings, grand parents, media, culture... It sure looks like activities during age 0-5 have a huge impact on overall trajectory. Yes, the genetic starting point matters, as does everything else afterwards. > not to cultivate this or that personality trait. IMO this is the biggest problem. I think being excessively intentional has significant potential downsides.

by jacobr 7y ago

danenania 7y ago

Not to say that we must all spend five hours per day with our kids or they’re doomed, but there actually is research indicating that the first few years of life are disproportionately influential in personality formation.

watwut 7y ago

> Are you sure you are cultivating his attention span, or were you both just born like that, and he is getting older and more mature? That think really works, I encountered the idea first time when I read about Montessory system. I dont know effects in long term, but in short term. If you make it strategy to not break kids attention, kids attention span goes up. If you think about it, the same thing actually works with adults. When you are interrupted every few moments (for example by management, colleges or kid) you have harder time to focus for long spans. Once the interruptions stop, your attention span goes up.

mlyle 7y ago

> Are you sure you are cultivating his attention span, or were you both just born like that, and he is getting older and more mature? Ah, nature vs. nurture-- perhaps not the most novel take. > The hours you spend with your children (5 hours a day would be really difficult with 3 kids) during a couple of years in their childhood is not that important to their adult personality. It’s a combination of traits from birth, which class mates they get, the teachers, if they get sick, infections, siblings, grand parents, media, culture... It sure looks like activities during age 0-5 have a huge impact on overall trajectory. Yes, the genetic starting point matters, as does everything else afterwards. > not to cultivate this or that personality trait. IMO this is the biggest problem. I think being excessively intentional has significant potential downsides.