7 ms·

Cute. And now, a counter-question: Do little boys ever ask for anything sparkly? If not, why not? https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190930-the-sexist-myths

Cute. And now, a counter-question: Do little boys ever ask for anything sparkly? If not, why not? https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190930-the-sexist-myths-about-gender-stereotypes-that-wont-die https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190930-the-sexist-myths...

DoreenMichele 7y ago
We spend a lot of time debating things like if children are brainwashed and if we should brainwash them in some other direction for their own good. Maybe the girls who wrote the letter were brainwashed into thinking "sparkly is girly and we must be girly first and foremost," but they asked for someone to help them believe that they didn't have to choose one or the other, they could be both sparkly and scientists. And someone gave them what they asked for, even though they were "just children" saying "Please inspire us in this specific way so we can believe because we want to believe." I was a girly girl who was also one of the top students of my graduating class. I'm 54. I still feel like the world insists I choose: I can either be "girly" in myriad ways or I can be a serious intellectual. But I absolutely can't be both. I still feel poisoned by those messages, though less so than I used to be. So I thought this was a delightful little thing that had happened somewhere on planet Earth at some point. I'm pleasantly surprised it's gotten any upvotes on HN. That also warms my cold, dead heart slightly.
- mikekchar 7y ago
  It always frustrates me that "girly" is considered bad in some way while "manly" is considered good. It's truly unfortunate that there aren't "boyly" and "womanly" adjectives.... We suffer from our sexist past by refusing to allow that cute, sparkly, pink, whatever is absolutely wonderful. That more girls prefer it than boys is... irrelevant, I think. Perhaps I'm missing an important point, but if I am, I'm missing it by a country mile.
  - dTal 7y ago
    > It's truly unfortunate that there aren't "boyly" and "womanly" adjectives ...there are? "Boyish" and "ladylike" (or, indeed, "womanly") are the words you're looking for.
  - ksaj 7y ago
    Calling a girl "boyish" does seem to have a different level of impact than calling a boy "girlish." But I've also heard "guyish" and "typical man" used to mean boorish, lazy or stupid. "Typical woman" creates about the same level of offense in that case, and has equally well established definitions. I suspect at the end of the day, this form of sexism probably balances out in both directions, but with clear bias in specific cases depending on the audience.
foxyv 7y ago
Oh you betcha! Lots of boys like traditionally girly things. Although a lot of parents tend to quash it out of embarrassment. Social pressure to force your children to conform to gender norms is pretty intense. If you support your boy child in traditionally feminine activities you can bet there will be a lot of backlash. Just ask anyone who's male children take ballet, dance, or dress up in pink. Often they are accused of "indoctrinating" their kid or "raising a sissy." It can get pretty malicious.

DoreenMichele 7y ago

We spend a lot of time debating things like if children are brainwashed and if we should brainwash them in some other direction for their own good. Maybe the girls who wrote the letter were brainwashed into thinking "sparkly is girly and we must be girly first and foremost," but they asked for someone to help them believe that they didn't have to choose one or the other, they could be both sparkly and scientists. And someone gave them what they asked for, even though they were "just children" saying "Please inspire us in this specific way so we can believe because we want to believe." I was a girly girl who was also one of the top students of my graduating class. I'm 54. I still feel like the world insists I choose: I can either be "girly" in myriad ways or I can be a serious intellectual. But I absolutely can't be both. I still feel poisoned by those messages, though less so than I used to be. So I thought this was a delightful little thing that had happened somewhere on planet Earth at some point. I'm pleasantly surprised it's gotten any upvotes on HN. That also warms my cold, dead heart slightly.

mikekchar 7y ago
It always frustrates me that "girly" is considered bad in some way while "manly" is considered good. It's truly unfortunate that there aren't "boyly" and "womanly" adjectives.... We suffer from our sexist past by refusing to allow that cute, sparkly, pink, whatever is absolutely wonderful. That more girls prefer it than boys is... irrelevant, I think. Perhaps I'm missing an important point, but if I am, I'm missing it by a country mile.
- dTal 7y ago
  > It's truly unfortunate that there aren't "boyly" and "womanly" adjectives ...there are? "Boyish" and "ladylike" (or, indeed, "womanly") are the words you're looking for.
- ksaj 7y ago
  Calling a girl "boyish" does seem to have a different level of impact than calling a boy "girlish." But I've also heard "guyish" and "typical man" used to mean boorish, lazy or stupid. "Typical woman" creates about the same level of offense in that case, and has equally well established definitions. I suspect at the end of the day, this form of sexism probably balances out in both directions, but with clear bias in specific cases depending on the audience.

foxyv 7y ago

Oh you betcha! Lots of boys like traditionally girly things. Although a lot of parents tend to quash it out of embarrassment. Social pressure to force your children to conform to gender norms is pretty intense. If you support your boy child in traditionally feminine activities you can bet there will be a lot of backlash. Just ask anyone who's male children take ballet, dance, or dress up in pink. Often they are accused of "indoctrinating" their kid or "raising a sissy." It can get pretty malicious.