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When each of my kids turned 5 I started letting them go around the block with another kid, 2 kids minimum. My neighbors started texting and calling me as if my
by annoyingnoob 7y ago
When each of my kids turned 5 I started letting them go around the block with another kid, 2 kids minimum. My neighbors started texting and calling me as if my kid was in danger. They couldn't understand that I let my kid out of my sight. The best playtime is unsupervised. Being allowed to be out of sight and making your own decisions builds confidence. We learn from mistakes, we learn less when we are prevented from making mistakes.
- jkaplowitz 7y agoI respect that attitude, but I do wonder if the authorities might decide to take my kid away from me I try that with my kid (after I become a parent). Attitudes are a bit restrictive in many big cities.
- annoyingnoob 7y agoTo be fair, I live a suburban area that is relatively safe. We have clean sidewalks and almost no one using them. I started letting them go to the corner, they had to respect not going further and coming back when I asked. Then to the mailboxes around the corner, they would get the mail. Then around the block. It was a progression based on trust and mutual respect.
- dsfyu404ed 7y agoI have no fear that they'll take them away. They won't. It might suck up some time and money in court if they double down on being stupid but they won't get to take them in the end. It's my life being gone through with a fine tooth comb by the state as part of that process that I don't want to risk.
- ddingus 7y agoI grew up that way and simply took my own where they could free range. No way would I tolerate it being otherwise. The value to the child is immense! Just one example: during a crisis time, or disaster, who do you want as peers? I will take the free ranged humans any day. They will have some sense of what "do what it takes" actually means, and few enough boundaries so as to stand a chance of applying it successfully.
- sethammons 7y agoA colleague at work was working from home, watching his kid play across the street at the park. A busybody reported it and the family was slapped with negligence and lost custody of their kid for a short while and had to prove to a judge that they are capable parents.
- dragonwriter 7y ago> Attitudes are a bit restrictive in many big cities. Almost all the horror stories I hear about hyperactive reports to and, even moreso, actual enforcement action by, child welfare agencies are from the suburbs, but big cities.
- beamatronic 7y agoI want to do that but Nextdoor posts about attempted kidnappings give me pause.
- empath75 7y agoNextdoor is full of paranoid nutcases
- anon9001 7y agoI think you just replied to one of those "attempted kidnappings" from Nextdoor's point of view.
- annoyingnoob 7y agoChild abductions are an awful thing. I also feel like living in fear is no way to live. You can't learn street smarts without a little practice. There has to be a balance between 'it won't happen to me, go nuts kids' and 'kids need constant supervision'. I try to teach them to be aware and watch out. There are limits. I leave Nextdoor to my nutty neighbors.
- com2kid 7y agohttp://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm scroll down for crime / 100,000 people. Nextdoor tends to attract people who worry about anything and everything, and who report anyone they don't recognize (or just don't like) as being suspicious.
- big_chungus 7y agoIf someone's son is abducted, he may post that it occurred; if not, he will remain silent. This is like drawing actuarial tables from claimants only.
- lazyasciiart 7y agoYea, learning more about all the crazy paranoid assholes in my neighborhood from their NextDoor postings would certainly give me pause in letting my kid play near them without my being ready to intervene.
- 7y ago
- pravda 7y agoHow times have changed! When I was 5, I walked alone to kindergarten everyday. It was a half-mile away. All side-streets. Of course, that was back in the 1970's, when crime in the USA was but a fraction of what it is today! ;-)
- com2kid 7y agohttp://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm Crime rate in 1974 is higher than it is now. Crime rate in 1977 is 2x what it is now! America is remarkably safe, but safe doesn't drive views or click throughs, so it isn't exactly reported on.
- pravda 7y agoI know...it was a subtle joke. So many people consider the 50s,60s,70s idyllic, crime-free decades when children could safely walk across town and everyone knew their neighbors and nobody locked their doors. In reality, crime today is much lower.
- analog31 7y agoWhile I certainly acknowledge your data, one thing that's struck me is that the level of car traffic is higher, and faster. I don't know the stats, but when my kids were little, traffic worried me more than crime.
- com2kid 7y agoUgh, this I'll agree with. The street I grew up on is now packed with cars. Used to be we could run around with abandon, now days for some reason the off street parking and parking garages are both full, and with the same # of houses, people are now parking on the street, and cars are more frequent. Rather strange to be honest. :/ In areas with built up density it makes sense of course, more people and all that.
- analog31 7y ago
- jimmaswell 7y agoKids have horrible judgement and do things like bike down steep roads (true story of how some dumb neighbor kids got me to crush my wrist and develop weight problems) and play with snakes. Just for that reason I'd never really feel comfortable letting them go around outside on their own below around middle school.
- frenchy 7y agoWow. I was playing outside by myself by kindergarten (though, just in the yard & neighbors). By middle school, I basically just came home to drop my books off, and then for dinner. Most of my playing outside happened before middle-school, because by grade 7 I had too much homework to play outside a lot.
- PeterStuer 7y agoWe played unsupervised from age 6 outside on the streets and in the neighbourhood all day every day. We had to move our improvised roller hockey goalposts (sweaters) maybe once every 30 minutes to let a car pass. Now that same street has 3 cars per minute minimum. There are no kids playing outside.