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The bad news for cats? They lack this muscle. As a result, cats’ stares can look cold and unfriendly, and two cats staring at each other can often be a prelude

by PakG1 7y ago

The bad news for cats? They lack this muscle. As a result, cats’ stares can look cold and unfriendly, and two cats staring at each other can often be a prelude for fisticuffs. But a slow blinking stare – one that your cat probably gives towards you from the other side of the room – is something else entirely; it’s their way of expressing love. Even turning their heads to one side isn’t necessarily disdain, but a sign of their relaxation. When I rescued a street cat, the first thing I did was google how to take care of it and understand it. This was many, many years ago. All this information existed a long time ago, and so it's weird to me that people still think that cats are unfriendly. Or are people knowledgeable, but media just likes to make clickbait? I'll forever trust that cats absolutely can be friendly. My cat would come and sleep with me every night, often cuddle up in my lap, and my roommate told me when I went on vacation, my cat would stay all day at the door every day waiting for me to come back. Yeah, I once took care of a friend's cat that was particularly unfriendly. That cat just had a difficult time bonding with strangers. But just because some human being has difficulty interacting with people (especially people on the autistic spectrum), I wouldn't label them (and certainly not the entire human race) unfriendly. Those cats and those humans just have something else going on in their lives and need a different approach, that's all. As a cat guy, these articles do annoy me. Show a cat love, the cat will respond positively. Some cats are high-strung and need certain attention, but that's true for people too. Even my friend's unfriendly cat eventually came around, though it took weeks. Don't label the entire species.

rubicon33 7y ago
> can be friendly This has been my problem with cats. They are hit or miss. I've grown up with cats and dogs and enjoyed both of their company. I never once had an unfriendly/bad dog. At least half the cats I had were... "distant" to say the least. Didn't really want attention, liked to be off on their own, etc. Of course, the good ones are so great. A nice kitty is a really great thing and if it weren't such a dice roll, I'd have cats now.
- dsego 7y ago
  Two absolutely adorable and friendly kittens in my life, both got snatched, probably by a neighborhood dog. Both times we were looking and calling out all day. Even mom and dad were in tears. I don't think it's a good adaption for cats to be friendly, at least for outdoor cats. The distant ones always got to live longer (at least the females, tomcats tend to roam and disappear after a few years).
  - rubicon33 7y ago
    Similar story myself. Had a really amazing cat growing up, the friendliest little bugger... And so, so sweet. Went missing one day, and we never saw her again. Everyone in my family was heartbroken. I can certainly understand and agree that for a cat being so aloof and carefree probably isn't a great survival trait. Something got her, probably a coyote. I had another cat growing up that was far more distant. Didn't really like being held / pet (but would endure it). She was a hunter. Regularly brought back kills. She lived into old age, and died peacefully.
    - et2o 7y ago
      I had an outdoor cat growing up that lived to be 18. Spent about 1/2 his time outdoors and 1/2 his time indoors. He occasionally would bring back live mice or baby rabbits. So although he was self-sufficient in that aspect, when he was inside he was the most affectionate cat imaginable. He'd come and nuzzle his head into you and lay on your lap or chest until you petted him. He was never super affectionate with the dogs, but he put up with them. Cats are very complicated. Once in his old age he didn't return for about a week; we thought he had died. We put up posters for him around the neighborhood-it turns out that a family who lived in a house several streets away had "adopted" him (this was before RFID chipping). I still miss him.
      - spiralx 7y ago
        All cat owners seem to have owned more cats than they started out with :)
- jmpavlec 7y ago
  You should foster some kittens, then you can pick and choose the ones you want to formally adopt. If you don't mesh with the first batches personality, back to the shelter they go for a proper adoption. We had a "failed foster" and ended up with an amazing kitty.
- spiralx 7y ago
  > This has been my problem with cats. They are hit or miss. There's a crucial period between 8 and 12 weeks (IIRC) where if a kitten isn't handled regularly they are likely to always be somewhat wary around people. If you want an affectionate cat your best bet is finding a breeder and visiting them to make sure they're treating the kittens well and interacting frequently with them. I've owned or lived with a lot of cats over the years and the difference is very obvious, especially if you're a stranger.
noir_lord 7y ago
It varies on the cat so much as well, I've got two (brother and sister), girl cat ignores food and comes for cuddles before going and eating, boy cat largely ignores my existence except when he wants feeding except when I'm ill then he'll come sit on me, half a dozen times in last 6 years. Girl cat is ridiculously affectionate, she has to be on or near me or she cries.
UncleOxidant 7y ago
People who say cats are unfriendly have never taken the time to get to know a cat. While dogs are promiscuous with their affection, cats tend to show affection for a particular person more than others. When you're picked by a cat there's no more friendly, affectionate creature. That said, I have also known cats that were just friendly to everyone. We used to have a large orange tabby cat in the neighborhood who would just walk up to everyone who walked by and give them head butts. But he was a rare cat.
- atombender 7y ago
  > While dogs are promiscuous with their affection, cats tend to show affection for a particular person more than others. Cats have actually been found to be promiscuous in a different way: In a Horizon documentary a few years ago, "The Secret Life of Cats" [1], researchers tagged cats and followed their territorial habits, and they found that cats spend a sizeable amount of time with other families. In other words, while cats may have a home they consider their base, they're not exclusive. It's a good documentary, featuring real researchers, which made some surprising discoveries about cat habits. In particular, the sheer number of kills is fairly astounding, with some cats averaging 7-8 (if I remember correctly) or more kills a night, including birds. [1] https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-22821639 https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-22821639
  - andai 7y ago
    Cats kill over 300 million birds a year in Australia. They’re now using a special toxin (harmless to native wildlife) to kill feral cats, by dropping poisoned sausages from the sky.
    - Kaiyou 7y ago
      Poor cats. If birds die its their own fault for getting caught by a cat, but what did the cats do wrong?
      - et2o 7y ago
stanmancan 7y ago
Agreed, we have 3 cats and while all their personalities are very different, they are all suckers for love. One will come to you when she wants and climb up on your chest wrapping her paws around your neck and nuzzle you for as long as she needs. The second is a boy who follows me around like a dog, jumping up on my lap at any chance and sleeping beside one of us every night. The third is a younger boy and follows our daughter around like they’re best friends. He cuddles, plays and is constantly seeking attention. He regularly sleeps up against my neck. We show them a ton of love and they definitely reciprocate.
elygre 7y ago
If you googled it, it really, really was not “many, many years ago”. I object. As loudly as my old body allows.

by PakG1 7y ago

rubicon33 7y ago

> can be friendly This has been my problem with cats. They are hit or miss. I've grown up with cats and dogs and enjoyed both of their company. I never once had an unfriendly/bad dog. At least half the cats I had were... "distant" to say the least. Didn't really want attention, liked to be off on their own, etc. Of course, the good ones are so great. A nice kitty is a really great thing and if it weren't such a dice roll, I'd have cats now.

dsego 7y ago
Two absolutely adorable and friendly kittens in my life, both got snatched, probably by a neighborhood dog. Both times we were looking and calling out all day. Even mom and dad were in tears. I don't think it's a good adaption for cats to be friendly, at least for outdoor cats. The distant ones always got to live longer (at least the females, tomcats tend to roam and disappear after a few years).
- rubicon33 7y ago
  Similar story myself. Had a really amazing cat growing up, the friendliest little bugger... And so, so sweet. Went missing one day, and we never saw her again. Everyone in my family was heartbroken. I can certainly understand and agree that for a cat being so aloof and carefree probably isn't a great survival trait. Something got her, probably a coyote. I had another cat growing up that was far more distant. Didn't really like being held / pet (but would endure it). She was a hunter. Regularly brought back kills. She lived into old age, and died peacefully.
  - et2o 7y ago
    I had an outdoor cat growing up that lived to be 18. Spent about 1/2 his time outdoors and 1/2 his time indoors. He occasionally would bring back live mice or baby rabbits. So although he was self-sufficient in that aspect, when he was inside he was the most affectionate cat imaginable. He'd come and nuzzle his head into you and lay on your lap or chest until you petted him. He was never super affectionate with the dogs, but he put up with them. Cats are very complicated. Once in his old age he didn't return for about a week; we thought he had died. We put up posters for him around the neighborhood-it turns out that a family who lived in a house several streets away had "adopted" him (this was before RFID chipping). I still miss him.
    - spiralx 7y ago
      All cat owners seem to have owned more cats than they started out with :)
jmpavlec 7y ago
You should foster some kittens, then you can pick and choose the ones you want to formally adopt. If you don't mesh with the first batches personality, back to the shelter they go for a proper adoption. We had a "failed foster" and ended up with an amazing kitty.
spiralx 7y ago
> This has been my problem with cats. They are hit or miss. There's a crucial period between 8 and 12 weeks (IIRC) where if a kitten isn't handled regularly they are likely to always be somewhat wary around people. If you want an affectionate cat your best bet is finding a breeder and visiting them to make sure they're treating the kittens well and interacting frequently with them. I've owned or lived with a lot of cats over the years and the difference is very obvious, especially if you're a stranger.

noir_lord 7y ago

It varies on the cat so much as well, I've got two (brother and sister), girl cat ignores food and comes for cuddles before going and eating, boy cat largely ignores my existence except when he wants feeding except when I'm ill then he'll come sit on me, half a dozen times in last 6 years. Girl cat is ridiculously affectionate, she has to be on or near me or she cries.

UncleOxidant 7y ago

People who say cats are unfriendly have never taken the time to get to know a cat. While dogs are promiscuous with their affection, cats tend to show affection for a particular person more than others. When you're picked by a cat there's no more friendly, affectionate creature. That said, I have also known cats that were just friendly to everyone. We used to have a large orange tabby cat in the neighborhood who would just walk up to everyone who walked by and give them head butts. But he was a rare cat.

atombender 7y ago
> While dogs are promiscuous with their affection, cats tend to show affection for a particular person more than others. Cats have actually been found to be promiscuous in a different way: In a Horizon documentary a few years ago, "The Secret Life of Cats" [1], researchers tagged cats and followed their territorial habits, and they found that cats spend a sizeable amount of time with other families. In other words, while cats may have a home they consider their base, they're not exclusive. It's a good documentary, featuring real researchers, which made some surprising discoveries about cat habits. In particular, the sheer number of kills is fairly astounding, with some cats averaging 7-8 (if I remember correctly) or more kills a night, including birds. [1] https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-22821639 https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-22821639
- andai 7y ago
  Cats kill over 300 million birds a year in Australia. They’re now using a special toxin (harmless to native wildlife) to kill feral cats, by dropping poisoned sausages from the sky.
  - Kaiyou 7y ago
    Poor cats. If birds die its their own fault for getting caught by a cat, but what did the cats do wrong?
    - et2o 7y ago

stanmancan 7y ago

Agreed, we have 3 cats and while all their personalities are very different, they are all suckers for love. One will come to you when she wants and climb up on your chest wrapping her paws around your neck and nuzzle you for as long as she needs. The second is a boy who follows me around like a dog, jumping up on my lap at any chance and sleeping beside one of us every night. The third is a younger boy and follows our daughter around like they’re best friends. He cuddles, plays and is constantly seeking attention. He regularly sleeps up against my neck. We show them a ton of love and they definitely reciprocate.

elygre 7y ago

If you googled it, it really, really was not “many, many years ago”. I object. As loudly as my old body allows.