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Except it is a class issue: just like you CAN learn dining etiquette from others, unless you have been presented with the idea that dining etiquette is somethi

Except it is a class issue: just like you CAN learn dining etiquette from others, unless you have been presented with the idea that dining etiquette is something that you should/need to learn, there is no obvious way to pick up it's even a thing that you should be focusing on, because everything in the culture places euphamisms and misdirection between the phenomenon and what's really going on, and you've never even been to a formal dinner party (might not even know what one is). I am in no way lower class, but I was brought up with a distinctly meritorious mindset (and one that I'm generally thankful for on the whole). But it places one at a huge disadvantage in our education system. Office hours were for people who didn't understand the assignment or the material. To go otherwise would be borderline offensive and waste important people's time. What else could they possibly be for? Similarly, what is there to discuss about a grade? It makes as much sense as 'I'm going to talk to my lecturer about the number 7'. The idea of running drafts or queries about assignments past a lecturer or tutor beforehand still strikes me emotionally as, well, cheating. It's not fair, people wouldn't give individual students unique insights into the assessment. How absurd! They'd have the integrity to resign from such a clearly corrupt system before something like that took hold! No one would stand for it! Kissing arse? Getting your face known? But assessment is objective so it would be pointless at best, unethical towards both self and society at worst... Of course now, older and wiser, I know better. But at the time, every message most children receive is to explicitly hide how the social system actually works and reinforce the divisions that are actually there and pretend that systems are objective measurements of ranking ability.

anon9001 7y ago
It also took me a while to realize that things don't run on a merit system. My theory is this: If you're smart enough to think that merit should matter, it's easy to fall into the trap of meritocracy. If you look around and realize, obviously, that this is not a meritocracy, then value must be derived from something that isn't merit. Spoiler: It's relationships that matter, not merit.
friendlybus 7y ago
I agree that feels like cheating. But you can equally make that division down gender lines and not class because women are more likely to build a working relationship with profs than men. Class and gender are not the issue here, it comes down to an individual perspective on the school system. The value of a task and the socializing around it matters. It depends where you are in life which matters more.

anon9001 7y ago

It also took me a while to realize that things don't run on a merit system. My theory is this: If you're smart enough to think that merit should matter, it's easy to fall into the trap of meritocracy. If you look around and realize, obviously, that this is not a meritocracy, then value must be derived from something that isn't merit. Spoiler: It's relationships that matter, not merit.

friendlybus 7y ago

I agree that feels like cheating. But you can equally make that division down gender lines and not class because women are more likely to build a working relationship with profs than men. Class and gender are not the issue here, it comes down to an individual perspective on the school system. The value of a task and the socializing around it matters. It depends where you are in life which matters more.