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Point taken, we are going to get a copy writer to go over the site as soon as possible.

by qixxiq 16y ago

petervandijck 16y ago
You should be able to do this yourselves. (Good copywriters that understand your business are very very, very hard to find.) Here's a random example paragraph: "The SnapBill billing system is a fully-featured online billing automation engine. The system is secure and easy to use.Sending invoices, quotations and statements for recurring or subscription based services has never been so simple. Add your own services to SnapBill and allow your clients to order them via a branded and secure online order centre. Accept payment from your clients through any of our supported payment collection channels." So what did you just tell me there? "We let you easily bill people, send invoices and accept payments". That's a much better sentence, but even that you can remove because by the time we've arrived at this paragraph we know that you do online invoicing and payments. In other words: remove this entire paragraph. And most of the homepage is like that. Another example: your first paragraph: "SnapBill is an online invoicing and billing system with service provisioning capabilities. SnapBill is perfect for all businesses, especially those providing services requiring an automated recurring or subscription billing system and payment collection facilities." Are you trying to say that this is aimed at Saas companies? Then just say it. No real person will understand that paragraph, at least not anyone you'd want to date. Just say something like (if I am right): "Invoicing and billing for online subscription services." Remove redundancies and marketing speak. As an example, "SnapBill is perfect for all businesses, especially those". Read that twice. You're basically contradicting the first part of the sentence (perfect for everyone) in the second part (perfect for some especially). So guidelines to do your own copy-editing: 1. Remove, remove, remove. Remove words. Remove filler. 2. Think what you're trying to say. With every sentence and paragraph, what are you trying to say. Then say it as clearly as you possibly can. 3. Show it to target audience and ask what questions they're trying to answer. Then answer those. Good luck!
- Silhouette 16y ago
  > (Good copywriters that understand your business are very very, very hard to find.) FWIW, this is why I also suggested an information architect. First you need to figure out what the relevant information is, and to separate introductory material for the home page and tour from finer details for prospects who need to know more about specific areas. Then you need to present that information clearly and in a suitably professional voice. These are different goals, though of course they are related.
  - petervandijck 16y ago
    Much appreciated (since I am an information architect) :) To do this yourself, find your target audience (some of them in this thread), and call them on Skype. Put a screensharing app. Have them go over your site and speak-out-loud, focusing on what the info is that they want to find. Don't talk a lot yourself, the only words you should be saying are "why do you say that" and "what are you thinking/looking for now?". Make HEAPS of notes. Then have them go over your competitors sites. Make HEAPS of notes. After each call (don't wait, don't go for lunch) immediately have a long discussion with your team. Make a long list of things they are trying to answer. Do this with 2, 3 people in your target audience (then send them an Amazon gift certificate of 100$), and you should have enough information to make this work. Better than hiring a consultant :)

Point taken, we are going to get a copy writer to go over the site as soon as possible.

by qixxiq 16y ago

Point taken, we are going to get a copy writer to go over the site as soon as possible.

You should be able to do this yourselves. (Good copywriters that understand your business are very very, very hard to find.) Here's a random example paragraph: "The SnapBill billing system is a fully-featured online billing automation engine. The system is secure and easy to use.Sending invoices, quotations and statements for recurring or subscription based services has never been so simple. Add your own services to SnapBill and allow your clients to order them via a branded and secure online order centre. Accept payment from your clients through any of our supported payment collection channels." So what did you just tell me there? "We let you easily bill people, send invoices and accept payments". That's a much better sentence, but even that you can remove because by the time we've arrived at this paragraph we know that you do online invoicing and payments. In other words: remove this entire paragraph. And most of the homepage is like that. Another example: your first paragraph: "SnapBill is an online invoicing and billing system with service provisioning capabilities. SnapBill is perfect for all businesses, especially those providing services requiring an automated recurring or subscription billing system and payment collection facilities." Are you trying to say that this is aimed at Saas companies? Then just say it. No real person will understand that paragraph, at least not anyone you'd want to date. Just say something like (if I am right): "Invoicing and billing for online subscription services." Remove redundancies and marketing speak. As an example, "SnapBill is perfect for all businesses, especially those". Read that twice. You're basically contradicting the first part of the sentence (perfect for everyone) in the second part (perfect for some especially). So guidelines to do your own copy-editing: 1. Remove, remove, remove. Remove words. Remove filler. 2. Think what you're trying to say. With every sentence and paragraph, what are you trying to say. Then say it as clearly as you possibly can. 3. Show it to target audience and ask what questions they're trying to answer. Then answer those. Good luck!

Silhouette 16y ago
> (Good copywriters that understand your business are very very, very hard to find.) FWIW, this is why I also suggested an information architect. First you need to figure out what the relevant information is, and to separate introductory material for the home page and tour from finer details for prospects who need to know more about specific areas. Then you need to present that information clearly and in a suitably professional voice. These are different goals, though of course they are related.
- petervandijck 16y ago
  Much appreciated (since I am an information architect) :) To do this yourself, find your target audience (some of them in this thread), and call them on Skype. Put a screensharing app. Have them go over your site and speak-out-loud, focusing on what the info is that they want to find. Don't talk a lot yourself, the only words you should be saying are "why do you say that" and "what are you thinking/looking for now?". Make HEAPS of notes. Then have them go over your competitors sites. Make HEAPS of notes. After each call (don't wait, don't go for lunch) immediately have a long discussion with your team. Make a long list of things they are trying to answer. Do this with 2, 3 people in your target audience (then send them an Amazon gift certificate of 100$), and you should have enough information to make this work. Better than hiring a consultant :)