4 ms·

> We made a conscious effort not to make her "lady like", that is, like a boy we encourage her to be arrogant (self belief), not to take any crap (fight if she

by mjfl 7y ago

> We made a conscious effort not to make her "lady like", that is, like a boy we encourage her to be arrogant (self belief), not to take any crap (fight if she has to), make jokes, and to stand up for her opinion. This is incredibly stupid parenting. You want your daughter getting in fights with boys? Making terrible jokes? This could end so poorly.

LyndsySimon 7y ago
I disagree. My daughters are “lady-like”, in that they are feminine. That has different definitions to different people, obviously, but to us that means that she is capable of carrying herself with grace, dignity, and class. They’re also stubborn, strong-willed, and capable. They get the same advice from me as I got from my father: don’t start a fight, avoid a fight if you can, but if you have no other choice, fight. Fight hard and win, so there won’t be a second one. We live in a fairly rural area in a very “Red” state, and my 11-year-old is currently saving her money for a new machete. She loves knives and carries at least a good pocket knife everywhere. If she’s wearing jeans, she has a Ka-Bar hunter’s knife. One of my favorite photo sequences of my oldest daughter is a day that began with her winning the “Peach Princess” pageant, followed by the two of us spending all afternoon driving backroads and trails in my Jeep, and ending with her sitting in a booth at a local Mexican restaurant wearing a Spider-Man tee. She had messy sun-bleached hair, wind-burn on her cheeks, and a big smile on her face.
KaiserPro 7y ago
> You want your daughter getting in fights with boys? If a boy touches her in a way that she doesn't like, or if someone corners her, I want her to do what any boy is encouraged to do. Fight her way out. (if one boy pushes another, it is expected that the pushee stands his ground. Why should a girl be any different?) I want my daughter to be pragmatic, not passive. Leadership is mostly pragmatic arrogance. (I can make these people achieve more, etc. I don't want her to believe that shes the only person to lead. ) In retrospect, arrogance is the wrong word. > This could end so poorly You wouldn't be saying this if she was a boy. The insinuation that a girl is not as strong as a boy is bollocks. The only thing that is different is expectation. I expect my girl to fucking lay bullies out. Not sit there an take it, because "girls can't punch" or some shit. > Making terrible jokes? not until she's a parent. I want her to make funny jokes

by mjfl 7y ago

LyndsySimon 7y ago

I disagree. My daughters are “lady-like”, in that they are feminine. That has different definitions to different people, obviously, but to us that means that she is capable of carrying herself with grace, dignity, and class. They’re also stubborn, strong-willed, and capable. They get the same advice from me as I got from my father: don’t start a fight, avoid a fight if you can, but if you have no other choice, fight. Fight hard and win, so there won’t be a second one. We live in a fairly rural area in a very “Red” state, and my 11-year-old is currently saving her money for a new machete. She loves knives and carries at least a good pocket knife everywhere. If she’s wearing jeans, she has a Ka-Bar hunter’s knife. One of my favorite photo sequences of my oldest daughter is a day that began with her winning the “Peach Princess” pageant, followed by the two of us spending all afternoon driving backroads and trails in my Jeep, and ending with her sitting in a booth at a local Mexican restaurant wearing a Spider-Man tee. She had messy sun-bleached hair, wind-burn on her cheeks, and a big smile on her face.

KaiserPro 7y ago

> You want your daughter getting in fights with boys? If a boy touches her in a way that she doesn't like, or if someone corners her, I want her to do what any boy is encouraged to do. Fight her way out. (if one boy pushes another, it is expected that the pushee stands his ground. Why should a girl be any different?) I want my daughter to be pragmatic, not passive. Leadership is mostly pragmatic arrogance. (I can make these people achieve more, etc. I don't want her to believe that shes the only person to lead. ) In retrospect, arrogance is the wrong word. > This could end so poorly You wouldn't be saying this if she was a boy. The insinuation that a girl is not as strong as a boy is bollocks. The only thing that is different is expectation. I expect my girl to fucking lay bullies out. Not sit there an take it, because "girls can't punch" or some shit. > Making terrible jokes? not until she's a parent. I want her to make funny jokes