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I love my wife completely. She is perfect for me. I cannot see my life without her. When I travel for work, everyday I am away I miss her and she is never far f

I love my wife completely. She is perfect for me. I cannot see my life without her. When I travel for work, everyday I am away I miss her and she is never far from my mind. We have been together for 20 years. There was a whole set of women before her. There was one for 5 years. The other day it was her (5 year relationship) birthday and I remembered randomly after noticing the date and dropped her a short note wishing her a happy birthday. So as a proof point for me at least, I guess this is true. Looking back at all the relationships from the past, with the exception of one, I generally still have a positive view to all of them. In some way the things I learned from those relationships have made my marriage so much stronger. It is strange because as I write this I think back to how I handled my relationships and breakups when I was younger and I cannot understand my behavior at that time anymore. I wonder if it is just time that removes any negative view? It would be interesting to know if the positive attitude has a time component.

burtonator 7y ago
This is my perspective as well... only 1-2 women I've dated do I have negative feelings for and it's mostly a "do not ever talk to them, ever" kind of feeling, not an "I have to get revenge" feeling. I've been with my girl for 5 years now and there's no other girl for me. If we're apart for more than a day it feels like I've lost a limb or half of my soul.
smt88 7y ago
I think this is the danger of social science. Everyone has anecdata, and you tend to believe (and share) the studies that support your anecdata. > time that removes any negative view? I was taught in college psychology that most people start to forget the negative aspects of relationships and cling to the good aspects. A quick Google search suggests I was misinformed, though: https://www.google.com/search?q=humans+forget+negative+things https://www.google.com/search?q=humans+forget+negative+thing...

burtonator 7y ago

This is my perspective as well... only 1-2 women I've dated do I have negative feelings for and it's mostly a "do not ever talk to them, ever" kind of feeling, not an "I have to get revenge" feeling. I've been with my girl for 5 years now and there's no other girl for me. If we're apart for more than a day it feels like I've lost a limb or half of my soul.

smt88 7y ago

I think this is the danger of social science. Everyone has anecdata, and you tend to believe (and share) the studies that support your anecdata. > time that removes any negative view? I was taught in college psychology that most people start to forget the negative aspects of relationships and cling to the good aspects. A quick Google search suggests I was misinformed, though: https://www.google.com/search?q=humans+forget+negative+things https://www.google.com/search?q=humans+forget+negative+thing...