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> All of us, but especially children, need such confidence—confidence that others will know, affirm, and cherish us. But they won't. I don't know what fantasy

> All of us, but especially children, need such confidence—confidence that others will know, affirm, and cherish us. But they won't. I don't know what fantasy land the author and reviewer live in, but here in America in 2019, the world is a dangerous, knife-edged, and pitiless place where it's a constant fight of all against all. Anyone you meet, even immediate family members, is your enemy by default, and usually an ally at best. Everyone ruthlessly exploits everyone else to survive, everyone kills and dies by inches to eat tomorrow. I've no idea where these people come from saying people love and support one another. Out here, others are either threats or exploitation targets, not partners. Very good article nevertheless, helps to sort out adaptive things from maladaptive things.

marmadukester39 7y ago
This worldview you are trapped in will damage you in exactly the ways enumerated above. I hope that you find a new story to live in.
- viklove 7y ago
  I disagree, and if you go through life expecting everyone to constantly support you, you won't make it very far once you start to face any real adversity. You have to learn to rely on yourself, at least that's what my experiences have shown me. You may be living in a story, but the rest of us have to live in the real world.
rayalez 7y ago
> Everyone ruthlessly exploits everyone else to survive [...] Out here, others are either threats or exploitation targets, not partners. "Everyone" is a strong word. People are very different. Some are evil, some are admirable and kind, most have a mix of good and bad traits. To me, a random internet commenter with no horse in this race, this comment sounds really disturbing, it sounds like you're having some problems warping your world view(or maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong people). I'm not usually the one to diagnose random strangers, but what you're saying sounds pretty extreme. Biased, or influenced by some psychological thing, I don't know. Either way, not factually accurate. Do you have at least one person that you like, that you can talk to about this stuff? I don't really know what advice to give you. I'm just gonna say that even though it's easy to see all the ugliness and flaws in human nature, there's a lot of goodness and beauty in it too. Make an effort to see good in people, or to seek out people that are good. There are plenty.
losteric 7y ago
You sound like me when I was 18, having grown up in a terrible family... this mentality is the maladaptive self-reinforcing trauma described in the post
magic_beans 7y ago
Your worldview is the direct result of a traumatized mind. How secure was your childhood? Were your physical and emotional needs met? Were you bullied? Did you grow up in a family where you might be beaten or yelled at for minor infractions?

marmadukester39 7y ago

This worldview you are trapped in will damage you in exactly the ways enumerated above. I hope that you find a new story to live in.

viklove 7y ago
I disagree, and if you go through life expecting everyone to constantly support you, you won't make it very far once you start to face any real adversity. You have to learn to rely on yourself, at least that's what my experiences have shown me. You may be living in a story, but the rest of us have to live in the real world.

rayalez 7y ago

> Everyone ruthlessly exploits everyone else to survive [...] Out here, others are either threats or exploitation targets, not partners. "Everyone" is a strong word. People are very different. Some are evil, some are admirable and kind, most have a mix of good and bad traits. To me, a random internet commenter with no horse in this race, this comment sounds really disturbing, it sounds like you're having some problems warping your world view(or maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong people). I'm not usually the one to diagnose random strangers, but what you're saying sounds pretty extreme. Biased, or influenced by some psychological thing, I don't know. Either way, not factually accurate. Do you have at least one person that you like, that you can talk to about this stuff? I don't really know what advice to give you. I'm just gonna say that even though it's easy to see all the ugliness and flaws in human nature, there's a lot of goodness and beauty in it too. Make an effort to see good in people, or to seek out people that are good. There are plenty.

losteric 7y ago

You sound like me when I was 18, having grown up in a terrible family... this mentality is the maladaptive self-reinforcing trauma described in the post

magic_beans 7y ago

Your worldview is the direct result of a traumatized mind. How secure was your childhood? Were your physical and emotional needs met? Were you bullied? Did you grow up in a family where you might be beaten or yelled at for minor infractions?