4 ms·

It's quite common for developers at least to not enjoy the interactions of a one-on-one time with a non direct relation (ie. someone you don't know well/don't h

It's quite common for developers at least to not enjoy the interactions of a one-on-one time with a non direct relation (ie. someone you don't know well/don't have much in common subjects). So while this could be a good idea sometimes, don't "force" this on people who might not decline but also might not enjoy.

Udo 7y ago
I agree, and I would like to add that going out in small groups may work better for some people, because it takes off the pressure of having to "perform" or to make a "good impression" when people are not feeling up for it or when their minds are otherwise too occupied. Overall, I like the idea of making an effort to form social connections and to learn more about your colleagues and their work. Especially in an environment where most people are not completely consumed with deep work (which to be honest applies to most work places including mine right now) this could be one of the little things that keeps a company together as far as motivation and mood go.
Kuraj 7y ago
As a software developer, it strikes me as odd that this is something that doesn't somehow happen naturally. Where I work, a huge portion of employees eats out instead of bringing their own lunch, so around 12:00 we form into groups and go eat together. Due to various constraints a lot of the time these groups happen to be the size of 2. I love it because it's an opportunity to get to know your co-workers on a more personal level.
- rinchik 7y ago
  It strikes me as odd that people like yourself don't really get developers. The only reason I'm out of the office is to shake off my tunnel vision and to try to solve one of the problems I'm working on by changing the environment. I'm out of the office for the refresher and not to blabber about your noisy children or your boring life. "Casual" lunches are super annoying and not productive. Yuck. Thanks god with seniority comes the power to turn people like yourself down without any consequences.
  - t0mbstone 7y ago
    I believe that going to lunch with co-workers should be an opt-in thing, on that we agree. If a company required me to go to lunch with co-workers, then that is technically not a lunch break. That should be considered a "working lunch", and should count towards your hours logged for the week. With that said, I think you are missing out on a key point here, which is that a HUGE part of being an effective programmer within an organization is your ability to communicate and collaborate effectively with other people. When you step out of your comfort zone and spend time building casual relationships with your co-workers, you will discover that your influence within the organization grows, and you will also find that people tend to be more empathetic towards you if (and when) you inevitably screw something up. If someone regards you as a "friend", they are much more likely to extend you some grace when your bugs cause them inconvenience. You will also find that they are more eager to pause what they are working on and stop and help you with things when you need it, or to answer your questions. In a situation where you aren't their friend and they don't stop and help you, you could easily be looking at days/weeks worth of delays and back and forth while they are being unhelpful. Sure, you might be a 10x developer within your little silo, but the moment you need something outside of the silo, you will find those interpersonal relationships can often make a huge difference.
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
    - rinchik 7y ago
      Please stop throwing around meaningless generalizations and banalities about "silos" and "comfort zones". > Your coworkers with stop helping you because you "didn't go to lunch with them, :sad_face:"! haha that's so silly, so naive, so sentimental! We are not children. And your office is not a playground. We are professional adults in a professional setting. > If someone regards you as a "friend", they are much more likely to extend you some grace Your co-workers are not your friends. Learn the difference, you are not Michael Scott (I hope).
      - deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]
Kuraj 7y ago
Is it really more common for software developers, though?
rinchik 7y ago
Thank you. Common sense is rare these days. Did bootcamps ruin everything? All of a sudden there is an influx of people with pushy sales-person/telemarketer type of personality in dev positions who's live goal seems to be to forcefully extrovert introverted colleagues.

Udo 7y ago

I agree, and I would like to add that going out in small groups may work better for some people, because it takes off the pressure of having to "perform" or to make a "good impression" when people are not feeling up for it or when their minds are otherwise too occupied. Overall, I like the idea of making an effort to form social connections and to learn more about your colleagues and their work. Especially in an environment where most people are not completely consumed with deep work (which to be honest applies to most work places including mine right now) this could be one of the little things that keeps a company together as far as motivation and mood go.

Kuraj 7y ago

As a software developer, it strikes me as odd that this is something that doesn't somehow happen naturally. Where I work, a huge portion of employees eats out instead of bringing their own lunch, so around 12:00 we form into groups and go eat together. Due to various constraints a lot of the time these groups happen to be the size of 2. I love it because it's an opportunity to get to know your co-workers on a more personal level.

rinchik 7y ago
It strikes me as odd that people like yourself don't really get developers. The only reason I'm out of the office is to shake off my tunnel vision and to try to solve one of the problems I'm working on by changing the environment. I'm out of the office for the refresher and not to blabber about your noisy children or your boring life. "Casual" lunches are super annoying and not productive. Yuck. Thanks god with seniority comes the power to turn people like yourself down without any consequences.
- t0mbstone 7y ago
  I believe that going to lunch with co-workers should be an opt-in thing, on that we agree. If a company required me to go to lunch with co-workers, then that is technically not a lunch break. That should be considered a "working lunch", and should count towards your hours logged for the week. With that said, I think you are missing out on a key point here, which is that a HUGE part of being an effective programmer within an organization is your ability to communicate and collaborate effectively with other people. When you step out of your comfort zone and spend time building casual relationships with your co-workers, you will discover that your influence within the organization grows, and you will also find that people tend to be more empathetic towards you if (and when) you inevitably screw something up. If someone regards you as a "friend", they are much more likely to extend you some grace when your bugs cause them inconvenience. You will also find that they are more eager to pause what they are working on and stop and help you with things when you need it, or to answer your questions. In a situation where you aren't their friend and they don't stop and help you, you could easily be looking at days/weeks worth of delays and back and forth while they are being unhelpful. Sure, you might be a 10x developer within your little silo, but the moment you need something outside of the silo, you will find those interpersonal relationships can often make a huge difference.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
  - rinchik 7y ago
    Please stop throwing around meaningless generalizations and banalities about "silos" and "comfort zones". > Your coworkers with stop helping you because you "didn't go to lunch with them, :sad_face:"! haha that's so silly, so naive, so sentimental! We are not children. And your office is not a playground. We are professional adults in a professional setting. > If someone regards you as a "friend", they are much more likely to extend you some grace Your co-workers are not your friends. Learn the difference, you are not Michael Scott (I hope).
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]

Kuraj 7y ago

Is it really more common for software developers, though?

rinchik 7y ago

Thank you. Common sense is rare these days. Did bootcamps ruin everything? All of a sudden there is an influx of people with pushy sales-person/telemarketer type of personality in dev positions who's live goal seems to be to forcefully extrovert introverted colleagues.