15 ms·

There are a lot of older people in the complex where I live. They are some of the friendliest and most interesting people I’ve ever met. It’s kind of funny beca

There are a lot of older people in the complex where I live. They are some of the friendliest and most interesting people I’ve ever met. It’s kind of funny because while I’m much more interested in their stories they always seem to want to hear about mine. I feel like the stereotype of the grumpy old man is falling apart, at least for me. Sure they exist but most of the older people I’ve been getting to know are very kind interesting people who don’t fit that stereotype at all.

zdragnar 7y ago
There are a few living stereotypes just up the road from me (rural countryside) but so many more who are friendly and so full of life that every chance to talk to them is a joy. I've seen the world change a lot in my years, and I can only imagine what it's like for someone who has lived two or even three times as long. Keep in mind they were born at a time when nearly half of the houses in America didn't have indoor plumbing.
firstplacelast 7y ago
I've always felt like people after 60 calm way the fuck down. They're done, over it, just trying to take it slow and enjoy life. I had a job selling newspaper subscriptions door-to-door when I was young (like 15ish), the thing I noticed was that grumpy people are normally in the mid-30s to mid-50s range. I worked that job for 9 months (it was awful) and I would talk to upwards of 30 people a night, 4-5 nights a week. What I noticed (and this is all anecdotal), 30's-mid 40's women were always very polite and would make time if they had it, men in that range were extremely rude and had little patience for a solicitor. Mid-40's to 60 the roles reversed, women would be a lot ruder, but the men would be nicer and almost had an appreciation that I was hustling and would make some time for me. Over 60, most women and men were pretty laid back and accommodating if they had the time.
- icebraining 7y ago
  Could be a generational thing, though.
- sizzle 7y ago
  30's typically are settling down years and might have a young kid or crying newborn keeping them steadily sleep deprived and agitated if I had to guess what was behind you observation for that age group.
  - asveikau 7y ago
    My experience with raising kids is that you develop more compassion, empathy, forgiveness, giving people room to make mistakes and correct them -- extended towards people outside your family too. It's all very humbling. But I am sometimes surprised when people tell me that's not a universal feeling. At some point I came across some study claiming to show that it made people less trusting of people outside of family.
- maire 7y ago
  Your observation is definitely correct. I took care of my mother until she passed away at 90. When she was young she never relaxed about anything. I think this was because of growing up during the great depression. When she came to live with us she became very sweet and child like in her outlook. I think it was because she trusted us and felt she could relax. I feel sorry for my sisters because they only knew her middle years and never saw the person I saw.
asveikau 7y ago
Sounds a bit like... Pardon the term... Survival bias. Perhaps the grumpy ones stress themselves out and don't make it as long. Or less morbidly, perhaps the grumpy ones are just not those you are likely to get to know.
- sosuke 7y ago
  Oh if only that were universally true. There are some terrible people that survive and some folks would say they live to suffer for their life of ill.

zdragnar 7y ago

There are a few living stereotypes just up the road from me (rural countryside) but so many more who are friendly and so full of life that every chance to talk to them is a joy. I've seen the world change a lot in my years, and I can only imagine what it's like for someone who has lived two or even three times as long. Keep in mind they were born at a time when nearly half of the houses in America didn't have indoor plumbing.

firstplacelast 7y ago

I've always felt like people after 60 calm way the fuck down. They're done, over it, just trying to take it slow and enjoy life. I had a job selling newspaper subscriptions door-to-door when I was young (like 15ish), the thing I noticed was that grumpy people are normally in the mid-30s to mid-50s range. I worked that job for 9 months (it was awful) and I would talk to upwards of 30 people a night, 4-5 nights a week. What I noticed (and this is all anecdotal), 30's-mid 40's women were always very polite and would make time if they had it, men in that range were extremely rude and had little patience for a solicitor. Mid-40's to 60 the roles reversed, women would be a lot ruder, but the men would be nicer and almost had an appreciation that I was hustling and would make some time for me. Over 60, most women and men were pretty laid back and accommodating if they had the time.

icebraining 7y ago
Could be a generational thing, though.
sizzle 7y ago
30's typically are settling down years and might have a young kid or crying newborn keeping them steadily sleep deprived and agitated if I had to guess what was behind you observation for that age group.
- asveikau 7y ago
  My experience with raising kids is that you develop more compassion, empathy, forgiveness, giving people room to make mistakes and correct them -- extended towards people outside your family too. It's all very humbling. But I am sometimes surprised when people tell me that's not a universal feeling. At some point I came across some study claiming to show that it made people less trusting of people outside of family.
maire 7y ago
Your observation is definitely correct. I took care of my mother until she passed away at 90. When she was young she never relaxed about anything. I think this was because of growing up during the great depression. When she came to live with us she became very sweet and child like in her outlook. I think it was because she trusted us and felt she could relax. I feel sorry for my sisters because they only knew her middle years and never saw the person I saw.

asveikau 7y ago

Sounds a bit like... Pardon the term... Survival bias. Perhaps the grumpy ones stress themselves out and don't make it as long. Or less morbidly, perhaps the grumpy ones are just not those you are likely to get to know.

sosuke 7y ago
Oh if only that were universally true. There are some terrible people that survive and some folks would say they live to suffer for their life of ill.