There are many ways to depression, and my depression seems to stem from my constant nagging feeling of existential meaninglessness. This has been going on for v

There are many ways to depression, and my depression seems to stem from my constant nagging feeling of existential meaninglessness. This has been going on for varying intensity for something like a decade now, but I feel like I'm finally coming to grips with it. For all my adult life I feel like I haven't got a clue why I'm here on this planet, and as a result been just slowly drifting to places in life where I don't want to be. The resulting depressed mood certainly seems to make the world look a lot more bleak than it really is, and making changes to my life has felt like an impossible task. However, these past few years I feel like I've been getting some real progress. I've been trying to follow all the usual advice to a tee, and in my case they have helped: * precise sleep patterns, 8h of sleep same time every day * stretching, regular exercise (both cardio and lifting) * fixing diet: removing sugar, grains, excess carbs, all the common "bad" stuff. Basically something like a vegetarian-mediterranean diet. * daily 20 min meditation * daily journaling * very little alcohol, only couple of drinks now and then and preferably in a social setting * no smartphone * no social media * no porn * trying to avoid reading news * spending time in nature when possible * no cannabis (I tried to use this as a crutch but for me it didn't help, only makes things worse) * no other drugs[0] I haven't sought professional help, but watching Jordan Petersons lectures have given me some ideas and tools what to try out (he is a clinical psychologist, after all?). Specifically, right now my goal is to figure out a clear plan for a life that I would like to live, which would hopefully end this existential dread and give my existence a clear sense of purpose. [0] Only exception to drugs has been psilocybin mushrooms, which I microdose when I feel like I'm especially deep in the hole. This really helps for a little while, but I hold no delusions that I could just continue living my life like this and endure it with drugs.