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I apologize for any defensiveness. I am exhausted and tired of being in pain, poor, and alone. I am often criticized and blamed and it conditions you to expect

I apologize for any defensiveness. I am exhausted and tired of being in pain, poor, and alone. I am often criticized and blamed and it conditions you to expect bad from people. I try to stay aware many people mean well but sometimes I overreact. I avoided asking for help for a long time for the pride reasons you mentioned...hoping I could find a way...but once it became clear that wasn't going to happen and I did reach out it was denial and silence at every turn. In all these years only one person, a complete stranger, offered any real path, and like some perfect game some trickster god would design that path was blocked by outside forces as I took the first step on it. Seeing every system you trusted and all the people who promised you support deny you...and worse BLAME you...is soul crushing.

wolco 7y ago
Most important question... what health issues are you dealing with?
- hestipod 7y ago
  That's not something I feel would help me in any way to get into publicly. It's multiple very difficult issues with no cure and little understanding even (legitimate and diagnosed...not quackwatch sort of stuff...just not common nor cared about much overall), mostly iatrogenic, I have done all the normal stuff you are supposed to, a lot of alternative stuff, and have never once gotten any useful advice from explaining it all in detail that helped. At best it's just "wow that really sucks and isn't fair". At worst it's "if so much bad keeps happening it must be you". I don't need any more surgery, lab test, medication, diet, or yoga suggestions. I just need stability so I can cope as best as possible within my limits.