4 ms·

> Move forward to today: a large percentage of men are totally removed from the dating market, they do not have sex, they have no hope of getting into a relatio

by Aloha 7y ago

> Move forward to today: a large percentage of men are totally removed from the dating market, they do not have sex, they have no hope of getting into a relationship. The reverse is not true for women, who have countless options and can at any time open their phone and have their pick of men. I'm very skeptical of this. Attractiveness is sort of a constant across population, and sorts into several bucketed gradients, its not as if there are suddenly a ton more attractive women or unattractive men than there was before 2012 - there does however seem to be fewer situations where people can meet via traditional means however. Now if you want to argue that non-conventionally beautiful women are not connecting with their counterparts on the male side, that might be a more interesting discussion - but one I dont think that can be proved out with data.

ronnier 7y ago
Study after study show that women rate the majority of men as unattractive whereas the scale is pretty balanced for men’s views of women attractiveness. In general, there’s no longer social or religious pressure for people to pair off so women flat out don’t pick those unattractive men. Women are the selectors. Men tend to take whatever they can get.
- EliRivers 7y ago
  I see unattractive men getting married every day.
  - ronnier 7y ago
    It’s a generality, not a solid rule. The statics show this.
    - EliRivers 7y ago
      So there's no reason for any one individual to look at these statistics and from them deduce that there's no point even trying? If they're just generalities and unattractive men routinely beat these odds, anyone choosing to drop out of the market has only themself to blame. SF; where people can be convinced they'll beat incredible odds and become tech millionaires (billionaires), but give up on dating because the odds are slightly against them. These are the same people who buy lottery tickets but forego seatbelts, presumably.
      - username90 7y ago
        Men typically don't date to find a marriage partner, they date to get sex. Saying that unattractive men have good chances to find a wife doesn't solve the problem unattractive men have getting casual sex. There are of course some men who date to find a wife and most men will do that at some point in their lives, but they are drowned out by all the men desperate for sex.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
  - username90 7y ago
    Marriage prospects has very little to do with dating prospects. The reason is that men want more casual sex on population levels so relatively few attractive men can supply most women leaving the rest out, but for marriage each man gets paired with one woman forcing women to settle with "unattractive men".
- deleted 7y ago
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- deleted 7y ago
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- MrsPeaches 7y ago
  Do you have a source for this? Any decent meta-analyses?
  - big_chungus 7y ago
    I believe these are the data to which he is referring. Published by okcupid, which is probably one of the better data-sets which you could hope for, given the topic. http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.ok...
  - faissaloo 7y ago
    I believe they were referring to this OkCupid study: https://web.archive.org/web/20180419093226/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e?gi=7f419beaa0b9 https://web.archive.org/web/20180419093226/https://theblog.o...
tibiapejagala 7y ago
Attractiveness is constant, but how it is perceived might have shifted. I vaguely remember that OkCupid did some "study" that men rate most woman around average attractiveness and the distribution is symmetric, but women rate most men as below average attractiveness and the distribution is skewed towards unattractive. The post seems to be gone though.
- ronnier 7y ago
  The data was so damning the purged it, basically it said there’s no reason for most men to be on dating sites, which works against Okcupids best interest. There are mirrors.
  - repolfx 7y ago
    It didn't say that actually. Whilst men may be nearly all rated as less attractive than average by women (lol), women are still more likely to message less attractive men than men are women. So men can use dating sites, especially if they're willing to hit on average looking women, they'll just have to put up with a partner who is convinced she compromised physically.
- big_chungus 7y ago
  Archived copy; very telling: http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.ok...

by Aloha 7y ago

ronnier 7y ago

Study after study show that women rate the majority of men as unattractive whereas the scale is pretty balanced for men’s views of women attractiveness. In general, there’s no longer social or religious pressure for people to pair off so women flat out don’t pick those unattractive men. Women are the selectors. Men tend to take whatever they can get.

EliRivers 7y ago
I see unattractive men getting married every day.
- ronnier 7y ago
  It’s a generality, not a solid rule. The statics show this.
  - EliRivers 7y ago
    So there's no reason for any one individual to look at these statistics and from them deduce that there's no point even trying? If they're just generalities and unattractive men routinely beat these odds, anyone choosing to drop out of the market has only themself to blame. SF; where people can be convinced they'll beat incredible odds and become tech millionaires (billionaires), but give up on dating because the odds are slightly against them. These are the same people who buy lottery tickets but forego seatbelts, presumably.
    - username90 7y ago
      Men typically don't date to find a marriage partner, they date to get sex. Saying that unattractive men have good chances to find a wife doesn't solve the problem unattractive men have getting casual sex. There are of course some men who date to find a wife and most men will do that at some point in their lives, but they are drowned out by all the men desperate for sex.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
- username90 7y ago
  Marriage prospects has very little to do with dating prospects. The reason is that men want more casual sex on population levels so relatively few attractive men can supply most women leaving the rest out, but for marriage each man gets paired with one woman forcing women to settle with "unattractive men".
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
MrsPeaches 7y ago
Do you have a source for this? Any decent meta-analyses?
- big_chungus 7y ago
  I believe these are the data to which he is referring. Published by okcupid, which is probably one of the better data-sets which you could hope for, given the topic. http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.ok...
- faissaloo 7y ago
  I believe they were referring to this OkCupid study: https://web.archive.org/web/20180419093226/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e?gi=7f419beaa0b9 https://web.archive.org/web/20180419093226/https://theblog.o...

tibiapejagala 7y ago

Attractiveness is constant, but how it is perceived might have shifted. I vaguely remember that OkCupid did some "study" that men rate most woman around average attractiveness and the distribution is symmetric, but women rate most men as below average attractiveness and the distribution is skewed towards unattractive. The post seems to be gone though.

ronnier 7y ago
The data was so damning the purged it, basically it said there’s no reason for most men to be on dating sites, which works against Okcupids best interest. There are mirrors.
- repolfx 7y ago
  It didn't say that actually. Whilst men may be nearly all rated as less attractive than average by women (lol), women are still more likely to message less attractive men than men are women. So men can use dating sites, especially if they're willing to hit on average looking women, they'll just have to put up with a partner who is convinced she compromised physically.
big_chungus 7y ago
Archived copy; very telling: http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e http://web.archive.org/web/20170307114500/https://theblog.ok...