3 ms·
Well then, time to relocate and try the good old speaking to a girl instead of going through an app. Edit: woah, that's going down fast, what's the matter here
by myspy 7y ago
Well then, time to relocate and try the good old speaking to a girl instead of going through an app.
Edit: woah, that's going down fast, what's the matter here? Are you expecting that girls should come where you live and do as you please?
- semiotagonal 7y agoSeriously, did no one learn the lesson of Captain Kirk and the Kobayashi Maru? When faced with impossible odds, redefine the problem.
- james-skemp 7y agoDidn't downvote you, especially since I don't have the ability to, but: "try the good old speaking to a girl instead of going through an app" I think the issue may be that women are using digital tools to find relationships. Talking to my SO, being friends with a number of women, and reading the news, I can't say I blame them, as it allows them to be the selector on the first contact in a safer environment. So: "Are you expecting that girls should come where you live and do as you please?" No, they probably are trying, and then when you hear that women get a multitude more of messages than men on these platforms, and going by first impressions/looks is generally easier ... Unless you're suggesting people go out and try to pickup people at the gym, grocery store, and bar. But (being in a relationship I wouldn't know), my assumption is that's generally not what women want at this time. Or at least wasn't when I was getting advice, as a man, a handful of years ago.
- big_chungus 7y agoYou have no social activities involving women outside of gym, store, and bar? Stop trying to "pick them up" in the first place. Find a social activity, and try to befriend a few people. If you're interested, ask a girl out. It seems as though the root of this is less socialization. I always thought you were usually supposed to get to know someone before asking out. I know HN isn't big on religion, but churches served this function among others for a long time, and I don't think the large, secular group of young people has yet found an adequate replacement. In terms of a close-knit community with similar values, religion is hard to beat.
- james-skemp 7y agoSorry, I can see why my answer might have made it sound like I was speaking for myself. Like I said, I'm in a relationship. I don't go to the gym, don't drink, and never attempted to pick someone up at a store. Like finding a job, I've found the best way to meet people is by way of recommendation from people you know. Doesn't always work out - had some extremely poor experiences - but that's life. Otherwise, I would mostly agree with your second paragraph in general. I was raised Catholic, but stopped being Catholic somewhere between 4th and 6th grade (so there may be some bias, both ways), and agree that church, sports, school, and work were typically the ways people would get to know others, and eventually hook up. I'm not a young person, so I'm not about to know what challenges they face in an always connected world, 24/7 news cycle, and world leaders (and their speakers) using Twitter/social media platforms to communicate with each other, but that seems to be the big shift since I was. Disconnecting is great (playing board games is my go-to), but with the world placing such importance on the benefits of the Internet and all these social platforms ...
- Andrew_nenakhov 7y agoJust go learn some dancing. You dance well, you get laid.