If you read Marshall Rosenberg's book on Nonviolent Communication, you will see that it is not this "self-help advice" that prevents us from being "good". There

If you read Marshall Rosenberg's book on Nonviolent Communication, you will see that it is not this "self-help advice" that prevents us from being "good". There are many causes that are pervasive throughout our social structures, language use, customs, etc. that lead to the "default" forms of communication which everyone tends to use being inherently "violent" -- i.e. our common modes of interaction are not based in an acknowledgement of our own and others' goodness and of the love we deserve to be shown by each other.