6 ms·

I don't think it's the case that all depressed people are realists, but that realists in general may be more predisposed to depression or being depressed. It s

by kypro 7y ago

I don't think it's the case that all depressed people are realists, but that realists in general may be more predisposed to depression or being depressed. It seems likely some people suffering from depression have real mental illness, and a much much smaller number of people are ultra realists and get depressed over real negative events and facts. I know there have been times in my life where I have suffered from depression because of my realism. On occasion bad things have happened to me and I've found people will try to comfort me by saying things like, "everything happens for a reason", "it will all work out in the end", etc, but being a realist, I know there often isn't a reason and it won't work out. At best I can only hope that I find it in me to continue through the rest of my life with the regret or loss that I'm experiencing. And even then, even if I make it to the end of my life, what's the point? Our lives and suffering is all pointless in the grand scheme of things. My cat died this morning. Sorry.

groby_b 7y ago
I'm really sorry to hear your cat died. From one cat lover to another - it's awful. It doesn't "happen for a reason". But please do remember all the good times you had, too. Being a realist also means acknowledging how much joy you had together, how much unconditional love you got.
- Allower 7y ago
  Well it happens for the same reason all living things die, all life has an end, no point resisting that fact, unless of course you enjoy suffering..
WhiteSage 7y ago
I'm sorry for your loss. When something bad happens I often find myself going back to Carl Sagan's words on the Pale Blue Dot [0]. Puts everything in perspective, and makes everything feel insignificant, when compared with the vastness of what lies out there. [0] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g
hippich 7y ago
Sorry about your loss =(
MisterTea 7y ago
Sorry about your cat. Feel better.
nicky0 7y ago
The only constant is change. Any attempt to cling to things as they are and hope nothing will ever die or decay will lead only to suffering.
mrfredward 7y ago
Most people rely on some amount of self-delusion to cope with tough things. I've witnessed this tendency, and in reaction I sometimes swing too far in the opposite direction and end up with my own cynical delusions. When I get things right, and achieve somewhat of a stoic realism, I find there is a lot of benefit in accepting the world as it is, but it is lonely. On a more personal note, I probably can't say anything to ease the loss of your cat, but forgive me for making an attempt: Your love for your cat and the memories you have are real, as real as anything else in this world. Even if there's no grand story that this is all a part of, the feeling of loss you have now is evidence that you found a source of joy and meaning on a personal level. Loss will always hurt, but the fact that something is finite does not prevent it from being good.
warrenmiller 7y ago
mine last week. it's been hard.
squarefoot 7y ago
Sorry for your loss, I've lost cats in the past and it sucks badly. If I may be of advice, don't let the loss put you down ("I'll never get a cat again because losing it is too much of a pain", been in the same situation) and when you feel ready get a new one. No, it won't take away the suffering of the loss, but you will slowly start to love the new one and find more motivation. About 16 years ago we lost a small kitten and were devastated to the point we arranged a sort of viking funeral on a river; initially I didn't want to get a new cat but my girlfriend convinced me and in a few days we had a wonderful new kitten. It lived 13 years before cancer took it away, but it became part of the family and brought happiness to the house. When it died I got a new one, and this one is growing an attachment to us just like the old one: I can't go out if I don't spend a good 10 minutes cuddling it, and have almost succeeded in "teaching" it to shake hands (search "rainman the handshaking cat", mine is just like that one:). My point, so we can sorta get back to the topic, is that when something bad happens, it is possible that it could trigger a series of events that might end up producing something positive. If I didn't lose the first cat I'd never have got the second and the third. I'm not being religiously optimist here, just pointing out that moving forward after a loss can be of help.
- kypro 7y ago
  Thanks for the kind comment. I relate a lot to what you said about not wanting to own another pet to avoid loss. I love rodents but I won't own them anymore for that reason - they don't live that long and I hate losing them. I'm also on the spectrum which I think might make it a little more difficult for me. I know I stereotypically love animals, and I tend to get really attached to people and pets then struggle when I have to say goodbye. I had my cat for 19 years so I knew it was coming for a while. I was really hoping he might make it to Christmas, but unfortunately not. He was one of the sweetest cats I've ever known and although it will take a bit of time, I know at some point I'll be ready for another cat, and I'm looking forward to that.
mkane848 7y ago
Sorry for your loss <3
notsogreat 7y ago
Everything does happen for a reason but we don't always know it or like it. Your cat died so other things will start to exist from its atomes/molecules. Anyway, sorry for that...
eukaryote 7y ago
I am sorry to hear of your loss - losing a cat is losing a member of your family. It is difficult to explain to others how much an animal means to your life. I have been far more distraught about a pet dying than human relations passing away! Please be gentle on yourself and let yourself grieve. And reflect on the wonderful life your cat was able to live in your company.

by kypro 7y ago

groby_b 7y ago

I'm really sorry to hear your cat died. From one cat lover to another - it's awful. It doesn't "happen for a reason". But please do remember all the good times you had, too. Being a realist also means acknowledging how much joy you had together, how much unconditional love you got.

Allower 7y ago
Well it happens for the same reason all living things die, all life has an end, no point resisting that fact, unless of course you enjoy suffering..

WhiteSage 7y ago

I'm sorry for your loss. When something bad happens I often find myself going back to Carl Sagan's words on the Pale Blue Dot [0]. Puts everything in perspective, and makes everything feel insignificant, when compared with the vastness of what lies out there. [0] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wupToqz1e2g

hippich 7y ago

Sorry about your loss =(

MisterTea 7y ago

Sorry about your cat. Feel better.

nicky0 7y ago

The only constant is change. Any attempt to cling to things as they are and hope nothing will ever die or decay will lead only to suffering.

mrfredward 7y ago

Most people rely on some amount of self-delusion to cope with tough things. I've witnessed this tendency, and in reaction I sometimes swing too far in the opposite direction and end up with my own cynical delusions. When I get things right, and achieve somewhat of a stoic realism, I find there is a lot of benefit in accepting the world as it is, but it is lonely. On a more personal note, I probably can't say anything to ease the loss of your cat, but forgive me for making an attempt: Your love for your cat and the memories you have are real, as real as anything else in this world. Even if there's no grand story that this is all a part of, the feeling of loss you have now is evidence that you found a source of joy and meaning on a personal level. Loss will always hurt, but the fact that something is finite does not prevent it from being good.

warrenmiller 7y ago

mine last week. it's been hard.

squarefoot 7y ago

Sorry for your loss, I've lost cats in the past and it sucks badly. If I may be of advice, don't let the loss put you down ("I'll never get a cat again because losing it is too much of a pain", been in the same situation) and when you feel ready get a new one. No, it won't take away the suffering of the loss, but you will slowly start to love the new one and find more motivation. About 16 years ago we lost a small kitten and were devastated to the point we arranged a sort of viking funeral on a river; initially I didn't want to get a new cat but my girlfriend convinced me and in a few days we had a wonderful new kitten. It lived 13 years before cancer took it away, but it became part of the family and brought happiness to the house. When it died I got a new one, and this one is growing an attachment to us just like the old one: I can't go out if I don't spend a good 10 minutes cuddling it, and have almost succeeded in "teaching" it to shake hands (search "rainman the handshaking cat", mine is just like that one:). My point, so we can sorta get back to the topic, is that when something bad happens, it is possible that it could trigger a series of events that might end up producing something positive. If I didn't lose the first cat I'd never have got the second and the third. I'm not being religiously optimist here, just pointing out that moving forward after a loss can be of help.

kypro 7y ago
Thanks for the kind comment. I relate a lot to what you said about not wanting to own another pet to avoid loss. I love rodents but I won't own them anymore for that reason - they don't live that long and I hate losing them. I'm also on the spectrum which I think might make it a little more difficult for me. I know I stereotypically love animals, and I tend to get really attached to people and pets then struggle when I have to say goodbye. I had my cat for 19 years so I knew it was coming for a while. I was really hoping he might make it to Christmas, but unfortunately not. He was one of the sweetest cats I've ever known and although it will take a bit of time, I know at some point I'll be ready for another cat, and I'm looking forward to that.

mkane848 7y ago

Sorry for your loss <3

notsogreat 7y ago

Everything does happen for a reason but we don't always know it or like it. Your cat died so other things will start to exist from its atomes/molecules. Anyway, sorry for that...

eukaryote 7y ago

I am sorry to hear of your loss - losing a cat is losing a member of your family. It is difficult to explain to others how much an animal means to your life. I have been far more distraught about a pet dying than human relations passing away! Please be gentle on yourself and let yourself grieve. And reflect on the wonderful life your cat was able to live in your company.