>You mention anxiety, depression, and that you feel lazy. Is part of the problem that there's nothing you want to do right now? Yes. On one level _want_ to ear

>You mention anxiety, depression, and that you feel lazy. Is part of the problem that there's nothing you want to do right now? Yes. On one level _want_ to earn a Security+ certificate or do a coding class part-time. I can't say for certain that they'll change my life for the better, but they seem like the _right_ thing to do for someone who has had 10 jobs but unable to begin a career. >Of the four qualities you list, you already have the one that's mostly innate. The others you can develop. I suppose you have a point, but I really lack the confidence and faith that if I keep trying to improve these things, then I'll see results. Because of my warped mind, moving myself in the direction of bettering myself =/= positive results, but rather new FUD, new failures, faux pas, doubts, and decline. Maybe IQ is innate, but I don't really use it, and I think I'm losing it. Depression makes my brain feel swollen and hard to grasp the right word and formulate plans. And yes, I have taken many, many medications. Most recently Buproprion and Fluoxetine. Now I've been taking 40mg Fluoxetine daily for a few months, but it doesn't help with any of the aforementioned problems. I think I continue to take it to show that I'm trying to do _something_ about this. Perhaps I should give therapy another shot. I just feel terrible and selfish spending money on it, when I think just saving a few hundred dollars a month would do more for my mental health than bawling to a shrink about my troubled teen years... Sorry to ramble. Thank you for your reply. I will try to reconsider what I can develop.