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I get that. It's just that "until death do us part" is so blatantly unrealistic. For what it's worth, my wife and I have both been married three times. My firs

I get that. It's just that "until death do us part" is so blatantly unrealistic. For what it's worth, my wife and I have both been married three times. My first marriage lasted five years, my second lasted 10 years, and my third has lasted 20 years, so far. Still, I've always been fundamentally a single guy. But I'm also agreeable, so I keep getting married. However, I don't recall that I ever said "until death do us part". You gotta be realistic. Edit: By "fundamentally a single guy", I mean that I'm extremely independent. I've learned how to be social, but I don't get lonely. And I resent commitments that distract me from whatever I'm currently focused on. Also, I've never wanted to have children.

mirimir 7y ago
Just to be clear, I didn't get the "fundamentally a single guy" insight until about seven years into my third marriage. I got that I'd been trying to be the guy that my partners wanted me to be. Or indeed, that I'd decided that I wanted to be. But I just couldn't manage it, for more than five years or so. As in the Woody Allen line that lifeisstillgood quoted: "I couldn't keep that up - I would have had a heart attack." So I shared that with my wife, and apologized. And that transformed our marriage. I stopped pretending to be someone I'm not, and resenting her for it. And I gather that she stopped expecting me to be someone I'm not.