4 ms·

You're absolutely right, and here are some approximate numbers to go with that. Based on a Bay Area tech salary of let's say $200,000 per year, you would save

You're absolutely right, and here are some approximate numbers to go with that. Based on a Bay Area tech salary of let's say $200,000 per year, you would save about $5,000 on taxes assuming your partner earns very little and you enjoy almost the maximum tax advantage. If you get divorced after 10 years, you've saved $50,000 in taxes, half of which will belong to your partner, so you've gained $25,000 assuming you kept your half so far. A cheap divorce might only cost $5,000 and so you'd come out ahead, but a high conflict divorce could cost $100,000, or $200,000. And on top of that if you were actually getting "tax savings", that means your partner earns much less than you, which means you'll be paying a lot of alimony to them for possibly the rest of their life, or at least half the length of the marriage. Even in the case of a "cheap divorce" of $5,000, the alimony will surely eat up far more than the remaining tax savings. If you're earning let's say $200,000 and your spouse was earning much less, you're paying $1,000+ in spousal support per month for several years at least. So yeah, the math definitely doesn't work out.

henrikschroder 7y ago
Things I have never understood about the US: Why does a divorce cost money?
- CydeWeys 7y ago
  Lawyers are expensive. Divorces are doubly expensive for the same reason that the Civil War saw the most dead American soldiers.
  - henrikschroder 7y ago
    Why do you need a lawyer for a divorce? I understand that if there's a conflict you need a court to resolve, then yes, you need a lawyer. But there has to be a significant number of divorces that are amicable, both parties agree to divorce, and you can divide your shared assets 50/50 in a fair way that both parties agree on, right? Do you need a lawyer in those cases? Or are those cases so incredibly rare because of cultural reasons that everyone just assumes a divorce costs money?
    - nordsieck 7y ago
      > Why do you need a lawyer for a divorce? You don't need a lawyer for a divorce in the same sense that you don't need a lawyer ever. Plenty of people succeed at pro se law all the time. There is a good reason why people recommend lawyers, though, and that is because the law is very complicated. I think lawyers are great at a few things: 1. They'll help you dot your i's and cross your t's. Even if the divorce is amicable, it's probably a good idea to do up the paper work and then take it by a lawyer just to make sure everything is done up right. 2. They'll keep everything above board. A decent lawyer will tell you about what is achievable in a divorce, which is a much better starting place for amicable negotiations than what feels right. 3. They'll help you protect yourself. Is it a good idea to move out of the marital home? What happens if your spouse incurs debt during the separation? These sorts of questions are often quickly answered and very important to get right. > Or are those cases so incredibly rare because of cultural reasons that everyone just assumes a divorce costs money? The breakup of personal relationships, such as a marriage, often result in very strong, negative emotions. I don't have any data on how frequent divorces are contentious, but it would not surprise me to learn that most are. My guess is that part of your perception, however, is anchored in media - both social and traditional. There, contentious and expensive divorces are simply more interesting and are probably over-represented.
      - henrikschroder 7y ago
        Just as a preface, where I'm from, divorce does not typically cost any money at all, you never use a lawyer, it's simple paperwork that you send in to the tax authority and that's it. Only if the disagreement on how to split the assets is so strong that one party threatens court do you need a lawyer. Also, if there's kids involved, you need a shared custody agreement which might result in one party paying child support to the other, but that's a thing that's triggered by the divorce, it's not part of the divorce itself. > it's probably a good idea to do up the paper work and then take it by a lawyer How hard can divorce paperwork be? "We're done, signed: A, B" How can you screw it up? If you get confirmation from whatever government body that keeps track of it, you're divorced, right? Otherwise you're not divorced? > what is achievable in a divorce What? You split your assets 50/50 and then you're done? What else is there to argue about? > What happens if your spouse incurs debt during the separation? Wait, what, how long does a divorce normally take in the US? > My guess is that part of your perception, however, is anchored in media No, no. I was specifically responding to some grandparent poster that claimed a "cheap divorce" only cost about $5000. I think that's an outrageous amount of money, and I don't understand why people in the US seem to be ok with divorce having to cost any money at all?

henrikschroder 7y ago

Things I have never understood about the US: Why does a divorce cost money?

CydeWeys 7y ago
Lawyers are expensive. Divorces are doubly expensive for the same reason that the Civil War saw the most dead American soldiers.
- henrikschroder 7y ago
  Why do you need a lawyer for a divorce? I understand that if there's a conflict you need a court to resolve, then yes, you need a lawyer. But there has to be a significant number of divorces that are amicable, both parties agree to divorce, and you can divide your shared assets 50/50 in a fair way that both parties agree on, right? Do you need a lawyer in those cases? Or are those cases so incredibly rare because of cultural reasons that everyone just assumes a divorce costs money?
  - nordsieck 7y ago
    > Why do you need a lawyer for a divorce? You don't need a lawyer for a divorce in the same sense that you don't need a lawyer ever. Plenty of people succeed at pro se law all the time. There is a good reason why people recommend lawyers, though, and that is because the law is very complicated. I think lawyers are great at a few things: 1. They'll help you dot your i's and cross your t's. Even if the divorce is amicable, it's probably a good idea to do up the paper work and then take it by a lawyer just to make sure everything is done up right. 2. They'll keep everything above board. A decent lawyer will tell you about what is achievable in a divorce, which is a much better starting place for amicable negotiations than what feels right. 3. They'll help you protect yourself. Is it a good idea to move out of the marital home? What happens if your spouse incurs debt during the separation? These sorts of questions are often quickly answered and very important to get right. > Or are those cases so incredibly rare because of cultural reasons that everyone just assumes a divorce costs money? The breakup of personal relationships, such as a marriage, often result in very strong, negative emotions. I don't have any data on how frequent divorces are contentious, but it would not surprise me to learn that most are. My guess is that part of your perception, however, is anchored in media - both social and traditional. There, contentious and expensive divorces are simply more interesting and are probably over-represented.
    - henrikschroder 7y ago
      Just as a preface, where I'm from, divorce does not typically cost any money at all, you never use a lawyer, it's simple paperwork that you send in to the tax authority and that's it. Only if the disagreement on how to split the assets is so strong that one party threatens court do you need a lawyer. Also, if there's kids involved, you need a shared custody agreement which might result in one party paying child support to the other, but that's a thing that's triggered by the divorce, it's not part of the divorce itself. > it's probably a good idea to do up the paper work and then take it by a lawyer How hard can divorce paperwork be? "We're done, signed: A, B" How can you screw it up? If you get confirmation from whatever government body that keeps track of it, you're divorced, right? Otherwise you're not divorced? > what is achievable in a divorce What? You split your assets 50/50 and then you're done? What else is there to argue about? > What happens if your spouse incurs debt during the separation? Wait, what, how long does a divorce normally take in the US? > My guess is that part of your perception, however, is anchored in media No, no. I was specifically responding to some grandparent poster that claimed a "cheap divorce" only cost about $5000. I think that's an outrageous amount of money, and I don't understand why people in the US seem to be ok with divorce having to cost any money at all?