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There isn't really The One in an objective sense - there's a whole lot of people who would be bad matches and then a smaller group who would be decent ones. Th

There isn't really The One in an objective sense - there's a whole lot of people who would be bad matches and then a smaller group who would be decent ones. There's a One in a subjective sense, in that once you find a decent one and commit to them, you stop looking and work on making your relationship with The One as strong as possible.

lifeisstillgood 7y ago
That's what I meant. Actually there may be (theoretically there must be) one perfect match, but even if you could find that person the chances of staying perfect without work is zero. The best option is find Mrs almost perfect then work hard
- journalctl 7y ago
  The idea that everyone has a “The One” is a Hollywood trope. What if you meet someone perfect and they become a bitter alcoholic in ten years? Or what if they end up cheating on you? Were they not “The One”? Why didn’t you notice? Humans are imperfect and they change over time. Hollywood has been selling a specific idea of love for decades, and it’s not anywhere close to reality. That’s not to say you should marry the first stranger you meet, but it’s unrealistic to think there’s only ever one person “for you”.
  - jbay808 7y ago
    Every ordered finite set has a maximum; GP's point is that even given the maximally best possible match, not investing effort into a relationship will be worse than investing effort into a relationship with a moderately good match.
    - brazzy 7y ago
      > Every ordered finite set has a maximum; Only if the order relation is total, which I'm pretty sure is not the case for romantic compatibility.
      - journalctl 7y ago
        Exactly! Maybe you don’t get along the best with one person, but they still have nice qualities and you decide to work through your problems. Or you could leave them for someone similar, but where you don’t have to do that. It’s tempting to try to order those, but ultimately I don’t think it’s fair or reflects reality. It’s so subjective.

lifeisstillgood 7y ago

That's what I meant. Actually there may be (theoretically there must be) one perfect match, but even if you could find that person the chances of staying perfect without work is zero. The best option is find Mrs almost perfect then work hard

journalctl 7y ago
The idea that everyone has a “The One” is a Hollywood trope. What if you meet someone perfect and they become a bitter alcoholic in ten years? Or what if they end up cheating on you? Were they not “The One”? Why didn’t you notice? Humans are imperfect and they change over time. Hollywood has been selling a specific idea of love for decades, and it’s not anywhere close to reality. That’s not to say you should marry the first stranger you meet, but it’s unrealistic to think there’s only ever one person “for you”.
- jbay808 7y ago
  Every ordered finite set has a maximum; GP's point is that even given the maximally best possible match, not investing effort into a relationship will be worse than investing effort into a relationship with a moderately good match.
  - brazzy 7y ago
    > Every ordered finite set has a maximum; Only if the order relation is total, which I'm pretty sure is not the case for romantic compatibility.
    - journalctl 7y ago
      Exactly! Maybe you don’t get along the best with one person, but they still have nice qualities and you decide to work through your problems. Or you could leave them for someone similar, but where you don’t have to do that. It’s tempting to try to order those, but ultimately I don’t think it’s fair or reflects reality. It’s so subjective.