4 ms·

You alluded to taking benzos + z-drugs for 10+ years (you weren't very specific, so I could be off base) on 6-9 month cycles with 3 month tolerance break, and t

by cj 7y ago

You alluded to taking benzos + z-drugs for 10+ years (you weren't very specific, so I could be off base) on 6-9 month cycles with 3 month tolerance break, and that you've been clean off benzo/x-drugs for a year now. I've seen cases of benzo/z-drug withdrawal (after a short 1-2 years of daily use) requiring 3 months to even notice relief from the side effects of the withdrawal (most notably, horrible insomnia). And then another 6-12 months of abstinence to reach a place where the withdrawal effects are no longer top of mind, or subtly present but not overwhelming. If you were on benzo/z-drug for very many consecutive years (even with short tolerance breaks), especially if those years were before age 25, it's very possible that your brain has never had a chance to function in the way a "normal" (non-altered) brain functions that hasn't been exposed to long term benzo/z-drug therapy. The scary part about benzo/z-drugs is that they can, over time, change the structure and chemistry of your brain through upregulation and downregulation of receptors in response to the presence of drugs. With benzos in particular, the amount of time it takes to reverse the drug-induced changes seems to be incredibly long (not weeks, barely months, maybe years -- obviously depending on the length of time of initial exposure). This is all to say that, if indeed you were on ultra long-term benzo/z-drugs for an extended amount of time (2-5+ years), 1 year of abstinence may not be enough to fully recover back to a normal state. --- And I assume you do all the basic sleep hygiene stuff for insomnia: no caffeine (at all, not even in the morning), no stimulants even if prescribed, intense exercise in the morning but not at night, not eating within 3 hours of sleep, no electronics within 2 hours of sleep. --- If you think the first part of my comment is BS, and if you've already done everything in the 2nd part of the comment, I'd highly recommend trying a dramatic diet change: something like going strict vegan and cutting out all processed sugars (and processed foods in general), - And if that too fails, think deeply about what triggers anxiety / emotional discord in your life, and try to eliminate the source of that completely. This is the hardest advice to follow through with, since for many people it means quitting jobs, ending marriages, disowning family, moving to another country... you get the point.

o10449366 7y ago
I haven't had issues with anxiety/depression since I was a teenager, thankfully. I'm very peaceful even when I can't sleep. When I was younger that was a big source of frustration and stress (especially during school), but I've accepted it many years ago. This is who I am and nothing can really change about that. :) I've also never gotten into the habit of drinking caffeine. The only time I'll drink coffee is if my friends who are into that kind of stuff bring back some rare coffee from a trip and invite me to try some. I also don't drink soda or energy drinks. It's possible that being on the sleep medications for extended periods of time changed my brain chemistry, but I think my condition is different from most people. This was something I was legitimately born with and can remember struggling with even as a very young child (3-4 years old). My parents have similar recollections. No one else in my family has this issue - I just see it as an unlucky mutation. I'm glad you mentioned diet. I think that is probably something that helps me. I've been on keto for most of my adult life and since graduating college and starting working I've been on one meal a day (lunch) aside from the few month stretches where I tried to gain weight for weightlifting. Thankfully my parents were amazing cooks growing up and were also too poor to avoid keeping snacks in the house so I never got into the habit of eating candy or junk food. I definitely notice that I struggle to sleep even more on occasions where I go out and eat with friends late at night and eat carb heavy meals that I wouldn't eat otherwise.
anon9001 7y ago
Benzos are extremely helpful for providing relief from anxiety and stopping panic attacks, and everyone should have some and know how to use them responsibly. The level of utility of being able to turn off anxiety and fear is incredible. I take xanax before I go to the dentist, because it's just not happening any other way, and it absolutely squashes the flight response and lets me act like a normal human. It shouldn't be understated what a miracle this is, and that it can be done safely with almost no risk. But they're also the most addictive substances we've got. After a week or so, you now have an addiction that needs tapering to not be dangerous. If you lose access to the drugs, you might die from withdrawal. The withdrawal can make you feel literally insane. I don't know how to explain it other than it's extremely unpleasant and everything feels moody and irrational, and sometimes you don't even realize the extent to which you're being irrational until you take more drugs and feel "normal" again. The potential for addiction is also high because these drugs feel the best out of all drugs. You're going to want to use it again. Imagine if alcohol never made you sick or dizzy, and you could have as much of it as you wanted, and you'd just keep feeling more relaxed until you pass out. Then you wake up feeling relaxed and don't have a hangover. That's what benzos feel like. Also many doctors don't realize just how possible it is to have a seizure during withdrawal, and some doctors will refuse patients asking for benzos because they see them as drug-seekers. Any time I see one of these threads about benzos, I try to share my experience, because they're just so misunderstood by the general public. And it's probably not great that there's so much talk about xanax in hiphop right now.
- stallmanite 7y ago
  Everything you said is spot on except for benzos feeling the “best of all drugs”. You mustn’t have been around the block if you can say that with a straight face. There’s far more euphoric drugs out there.
  - anon9001 7y ago
    I think it depends who you are and what you like. There's more euphoric stimulant stuff out there, and mind blowing psychedelics, but nothing else feels as overall good as xanax. I'd take benzos over opiates any day. But I haven't been able to find quaaludes anywhere, so maybe I am missing something ;)

by cj 7y ago

o10449366 7y ago

I haven't had issues with anxiety/depression since I was a teenager, thankfully. I'm very peaceful even when I can't sleep. When I was younger that was a big source of frustration and stress (especially during school), but I've accepted it many years ago. This is who I am and nothing can really change about that. :) I've also never gotten into the habit of drinking caffeine. The only time I'll drink coffee is if my friends who are into that kind of stuff bring back some rare coffee from a trip and invite me to try some. I also don't drink soda or energy drinks. It's possible that being on the sleep medications for extended periods of time changed my brain chemistry, but I think my condition is different from most people. This was something I was legitimately born with and can remember struggling with even as a very young child (3-4 years old). My parents have similar recollections. No one else in my family has this issue - I just see it as an unlucky mutation. I'm glad you mentioned diet. I think that is probably something that helps me. I've been on keto for most of my adult life and since graduating college and starting working I've been on one meal a day (lunch) aside from the few month stretches where I tried to gain weight for weightlifting. Thankfully my parents were amazing cooks growing up and were also too poor to avoid keeping snacks in the house so I never got into the habit of eating candy or junk food. I definitely notice that I struggle to sleep even more on occasions where I go out and eat with friends late at night and eat carb heavy meals that I wouldn't eat otherwise.

anon9001 7y ago

Benzos are extremely helpful for providing relief from anxiety and stopping panic attacks, and everyone should have some and know how to use them responsibly. The level of utility of being able to turn off anxiety and fear is incredible. I take xanax before I go to the dentist, because it's just not happening any other way, and it absolutely squashes the flight response and lets me act like a normal human. It shouldn't be understated what a miracle this is, and that it can be done safely with almost no risk. But they're also the most addictive substances we've got. After a week or so, you now have an addiction that needs tapering to not be dangerous. If you lose access to the drugs, you might die from withdrawal. The withdrawal can make you feel literally insane. I don't know how to explain it other than it's extremely unpleasant and everything feels moody and irrational, and sometimes you don't even realize the extent to which you're being irrational until you take more drugs and feel "normal" again. The potential for addiction is also high because these drugs feel the best out of all drugs. You're going to want to use it again. Imagine if alcohol never made you sick or dizzy, and you could have as much of it as you wanted, and you'd just keep feeling more relaxed until you pass out. Then you wake up feeling relaxed and don't have a hangover. That's what benzos feel like. Also many doctors don't realize just how possible it is to have a seizure during withdrawal, and some doctors will refuse patients asking for benzos because they see them as drug-seekers. Any time I see one of these threads about benzos, I try to share my experience, because they're just so misunderstood by the general public. And it's probably not great that there's so much talk about xanax in hiphop right now.

stallmanite 7y ago
Everything you said is spot on except for benzos feeling the “best of all drugs”. You mustn’t have been around the block if you can say that with a straight face. There’s far more euphoric drugs out there.
- anon9001 7y ago
  I think it depends who you are and what you like. There's more euphoric stimulant stuff out there, and mind blowing psychedelics, but nothing else feels as overall good as xanax. I'd take benzos over opiates any day. But I haven't been able to find quaaludes anywhere, so maybe I am missing something ;)