5 ms·

Rave/music scene is where a lot of people make friends too.

thatswrong0 7y ago
Yep that’s exactly it for me. I’ve made 3 really close friends in the past 4 years and tons of other acquaintances/ friends through my local music scene.
ncldmmt 7y ago
This. Adding to that, drugs do help accelerate the whole 'friendship' process a lot.
- spicyusername 7y ago
  This really only works when you live a lifestyle capable of supporting casual to heavy drug use, which is something that many people don't have due to their values, responsibilities, etc.
  - ncldmmt 7y ago
    You use drugs everyday when you smoke, drink alcohol or coffee. It's not really about the substance itself (which you may choose to take small to moderate amounts if you don't want to sustain a habit) but the personalities of people you meet there and the bonding over shared sensations. In other words, it's easier to befriend the kind of people who trip and rave than the kind of people 'values' and 'responsibilities' forbid them from doing so.
    - TheAdamAndChe 7y ago
      People with values and responsibilities tend to make friends in places like churches, which disproves your point.
      - ncldmmt 7y ago
        >People with values and responsibilities tend to make friends in places like churches What? Are you implying that people with values and responsibilities can't be atheist or irreligious? How about people who don't go to church due to not living in a country as religious as the land of the free, do they lack values or responsibilities? Also how does that relate to my previous post? I just don't understand your post at all.
        idrios 7y ago
        "People who go to church have values", doesn't mean "People who don't go to church don't have values". He was just using it as an example of how people make (or used to make) friends. To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves. Others in this thread dislike that you're suggesting drugs as a way to make friends because, well drugs are taboo. It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online, nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD, so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood.
        ncldmmt 7y ago
        >People who go to church have values", doesn't mean "People who don't go to church don't have values" They said "people who have values go to church", which isn't the same statement. It's equivalent to "people who don't go to church don't have values". A -> B is equivalent to non-B -> non-A and so on. >To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves. We are in agreement there. The community aspect is paramount. >It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online You absolutely can. Hell, I've been to plenty of those. (Of course they won't explicitly mention the drugs but given the clandestine or ephemeral setting and the kind of music you know what to expect.) >nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD Okay I admit I chuckled. Note that many festivals or similar events have whole families attending, complete with spouse and kids. Presumably the parents take care of the kids and don't give them acid but that doesn't prevent the friendmaking with fellow festival goers. >so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood. Most ravers are in their adulthood. Raves have been a thing for 30+ years, some of the early adopters are old enough to have grandkids.
    - arandr0x 7y ago
      Not really a "values" argument but isn't it unsafe to use drugs (even alcohol) alone with strangers? I guess for men a bit safer but still?
  - scarejunba 7y ago
    Casual drug use is easily placed into your normal life. You do some MDMA or LSD or alcohol over the weekend and you're back in action on Monday so long as you regulate your frequency of raving. I think I've figured out how people don't make friends though. They find identity reasons not to. "I have values and responsibilities. I cannot do this thing." Or "I am an X. I cannot hang out with these people." Genuinely I'm quite happy with my friends. We hang out absolutely sober now and run 10ks and half marathons together. We have each other's location shared and meet many times a week and occasionally randomly text to see if we want to hang out. I made the majority of these friends after the age of 30 and everyone told me you can't have this spontaneity at this age. Turns out you can. You just need to find the other people.
    - Mediterraneo10 7y ago
      > Casual drug use is easily placed into your normal life. You do some MDMA or LSD or alcohol over the weekend and you're back in action on Monday. And where are the average person's children over this weekend while the parent is busy getting high?
      - ncldmmt 7y ago
        This assumes that everyone over the age of 30 has children or wishes to have some. Of course if you are really intent on starting a family you're going to have to sacrifice your free time and social life. It's a choice many people make but it's not mandatory.
      - scarejunba 7y ago
        If you have kids, then the answer is: With a babysitter, at Grandma's, staying with other friends? You can choose to limit your choices. Or you can choose otherwise. Socializing as parents is easier anyway. But even if you don't want that kind of thing, then it's up to you to make your life. Besides you can come to a festival with your kids. You can hang out with your friends while they're getting high and just not partake. When we camp for longer festivals at least one of us will just not do drugs at all so we can have an assured ride home. And there are definitely little children around (though it's not common) at some of the friendlier mainstream parties (like the Anjuna Weekender)
taurath 7y ago
Yup. Most of the fan-type conventions I go to have a strong overlap with that community as well. It makes it super easy to meet new people I'll get along with. But if I weren't into this sort of thing, I don't know that theres many places at all to get a similar sense of community.

Yep that’s exactly it for me. I’ve made 3 really close friends in the past 4 years and tons of other acquaintances/ friends through my local music scene.

ncldmmt 7y ago

This. Adding to that, drugs do help accelerate the whole 'friendship' process a lot.

spicyusername 7y ago
This really only works when you live a lifestyle capable of supporting casual to heavy drug use, which is something that many people don't have due to their values, responsibilities, etc.
- ncldmmt 7y ago
  You use drugs everyday when you smoke, drink alcohol or coffee. It's not really about the substance itself (which you may choose to take small to moderate amounts if you don't want to sustain a habit) but the personalities of people you meet there and the bonding over shared sensations. In other words, it's easier to befriend the kind of people who trip and rave than the kind of people 'values' and 'responsibilities' forbid them from doing so.
  - TheAdamAndChe 7y ago
    People with values and responsibilities tend to make friends in places like churches, which disproves your point.
    - ncldmmt 7y ago
      >People with values and responsibilities tend to make friends in places like churches What? Are you implying that people with values and responsibilities can't be atheist or irreligious? How about people who don't go to church due to not living in a country as religious as the land of the free, do they lack values or responsibilities? Also how does that relate to my previous post? I just don't understand your post at all.
      - idrios 7y ago
        "People who go to church have values", doesn't mean "People who don't go to church don't have values". He was just using it as an example of how people make (or used to make) friends. To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves. Others in this thread dislike that you're suggesting drugs as a way to make friends because, well drugs are taboo. It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online, nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD, so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood.
        ncldmmt 7y ago
        >People who go to church have values", doesn't mean "People who don't go to church don't have values" They said "people who have values go to church", which isn't the same statement. It's equivalent to "people who don't go to church don't have values". A -> B is equivalent to non-B -> non-A and so on. >To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves. We are in agreement there. The community aspect is paramount. >It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online You absolutely can. Hell, I've been to plenty of those. (Of course they won't explicitly mention the drugs but given the clandestine or ephemeral setting and the kind of music you know what to expect.) >nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD Okay I admit I chuckled. Note that many festivals or similar events have whole families attending, complete with spouse and kids. Presumably the parents take care of the kids and don't give them acid but that doesn't prevent the friendmaking with fellow festival goers. >so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood. Most ravers are in their adulthood. Raves have been a thing for 30+ years, some of the early adopters are old enough to have grandkids.
  - arandr0x 7y ago
    Not really a "values" argument but isn't it unsafe to use drugs (even alcohol) alone with strangers? I guess for men a bit safer but still?
- scarejunba 7y ago
  Casual drug use is easily placed into your normal life. You do some MDMA or LSD or alcohol over the weekend and you're back in action on Monday so long as you regulate your frequency of raving. I think I've figured out how people don't make friends though. They find identity reasons not to. "I have values and responsibilities. I cannot do this thing." Or "I am an X. I cannot hang out with these people." Genuinely I'm quite happy with my friends. We hang out absolutely sober now and run 10ks and half marathons together. We have each other's location shared and meet many times a week and occasionally randomly text to see if we want to hang out. I made the majority of these friends after the age of 30 and everyone told me you can't have this spontaneity at this age. Turns out you can. You just need to find the other people.
  - Mediterraneo10 7y ago
    > Casual drug use is easily placed into your normal life. You do some MDMA or LSD or alcohol over the weekend and you're back in action on Monday. And where are the average person's children over this weekend while the parent is busy getting high?
    - ncldmmt 7y ago
      This assumes that everyone over the age of 30 has children or wishes to have some. Of course if you are really intent on starting a family you're going to have to sacrifice your free time and social life. It's a choice many people make but it's not mandatory.
    - scarejunba 7y ago
      If you have kids, then the answer is: With a babysitter, at Grandma's, staying with other friends? You can choose to limit your choices. Or you can choose otherwise. Socializing as parents is easier anyway. But even if you don't want that kind of thing, then it's up to you to make your life. Besides you can come to a festival with your kids. You can hang out with your friends while they're getting high and just not partake. When we camp for longer festivals at least one of us will just not do drugs at all so we can have an assured ride home. And there are definitely little children around (though it's not common) at some of the friendlier mainstream parties (like the Anjuna Weekender)

taurath 7y ago

Yup. Most of the fan-type conventions I go to have a strong overlap with that community as well. It makes it super easy to meet new people I'll get along with. But if I weren't into this sort of thing, I don't know that theres many places at all to get a similar sense of community.