What's your schooling background? I also grew up with language being very unnatural to me. For me my biggest strides as a writer came from the grind of working

What's your schooling background? I also grew up with language being very unnatural to me. For me my biggest strides as a writer came from the grind of working hard on long-form essays (or short stories) that I cared about doing well. For me I was driven by producing something I was proud of or communicating arguments well. Sometimes these were research for university classes, sometimes they where theological/political essays for friends/facebook-arguments. There's nothing like spending time on a single piece to develop skills. If you start slow asking yourself questions like "How can I make this sentence/point more straightforward?" and mulling on it and revising, then your brain will start to develop those patterns quicker and you'll get better at putting thoughts directly to the page with less revision needed and you'll build confidence as you get a sense of your own style.