I agree with other commenters that the author’s interpretation of “Show, Don’t Tell” seems off, and/or contrived. In any case, maybe the piece is meant to be me

I agree with other commenters that the author’s interpretation of “Show, Don’t Tell” seems off, and/or contrived. In any case, maybe the piece is meant to be meta, like Alanis Morrisette’s “Ironic”, because it seems the author went out of their way to not show any actual examples of how “Show, don’t tell” resulted in inferior writing.