4 ms·

uh but using "they" as a neutral way to talk about anyone is just fine. people have been doing that for literally centuries, its called "singular they" this is

uh but using "they" as a neutral way to talk about anyone is just fine. people have been doing that for literally centuries, its called "singular they" this is all about people wanting to be outraged for no reason

patmcc 7y ago
"Singular they" is indeed well used, but it's not normally used when the gender of the person in question is explicitly known. If you use "they" for someone who has specifically said to you "please use the pronouns 'she/her' when referring to me", you are being rude, not neutral.
- NeedMoreTea 7y ago
  "Where's Dave?" "They're in the garage, I think" is common to hear, just as "He's in the garage, I think" Many will mix between the "he/she" and "they" in the same conversation. Quite often referring to their closest friends and family rather than pointed attempt to misuse a pronoun.
  - bmn__ 7y ago
    > ["They"] is common to hear, just as ["He"] > Many will mix between the "he/she" and "they" in the same conversation. That does not match my observed reality at all. All natural languages I know are gendered the same way English is. Singular "they" is already exceedingly uncommon by itself; and across all the languages, and in my whole life-time, never once I or a conversation partner used "they" instead of the specialised pronoun, or mixed in a conversation, when the gender of the person in question is explicitly known as GP wrote. The same is true for all written material I read in my whole life.
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
    - anon12345690 7y ago
      ok so what? the entire problem is its not known because its different than normal. so we cant use the default gender because someone somewhere might not agree? and we cant use singular they because they dont like it? so what, we need to read minds? why? for the 0.01% of people who demand everyone else change? how about we forget all this and stick to the defaults. if YOU have a specific pronoun then you can ask but we dont need to rewrite posts and content at all
    - NeedMoreTea 7y ago
      All I can say is it matches mine. So we're at impasse I guess. English speech varies. Even across the UK there are dozens of regional accents and dialects. Now add the many regional variations across the USA and other world Englishes. All with their own traits and habits, some more widespread than others. A deep rabbit hole with many forks then. Common enough that I would not think it the slightest bit unnatural on hearing, or give it a second thought. I wouldn't give it a second thought reading it in a natural conversation in a book - not just in intentionally neutral business or net writing, so that's not going to be memorable. It's not an idiom I'd single out as localised to any one group or region. It would be memorable and feel odd reading if it were all that way in a novel's quoted conversation, or nearly all names with few pronouns like some telesales scripts seem to encourage. Not as common as he/she certainly, but I dunno 1:4 or 1:8 or something. I couldn't say what proportion is names not pronouns either. FWIW My people skew international, educated, Scots and perhaps city in a part of the UK that's well north of London.
  - xibalba 7y ago
    > "Where's Dave?" > "They're in the garage, I think" I am born and raised US, have lived all over west coast and midwest, and have traveled extensively throughout all regions of US. I have never heard people use the singular they in this pattern. Where are you from? Wondering if perhaps it is a regional dialect difference.
    - anon12345690 7y ago
      a lot of times its when youre talking about people where you dont know the name or gender but its a single person easy to just say "they" instead of he or she. if you know what they are then you wouldnt keep using they
    - NeedMoreTea 7y ago
      North West of England. My circle skews international, educated, Scots and perhaps city. I've not noticed it as specific to any of the many regional or international dialects. So I can't pick it out as Scots or Mancunian for instance. It may fall under the generic UK North-South speech and language split.
- anon12345690 7y ago
  what are you even talking about? lol its used ALL THE TIME. also i can use normal pronouns and get along fine with 99.99% of people who dont demand that everyone else change for them if someone says call me "your majesty" are you gonna do it? cause thats what this is. a bunch of privileged and entitled people controlling everyone else.

patmcc 7y ago

"Singular they" is indeed well used, but it's not normally used when the gender of the person in question is explicitly known. If you use "they" for someone who has specifically said to you "please use the pronouns 'she/her' when referring to me", you are being rude, not neutral.

NeedMoreTea 7y ago
"Where's Dave?" "They're in the garage, I think" is common to hear, just as "He's in the garage, I think" Many will mix between the "he/she" and "they" in the same conversation. Quite often referring to their closest friends and family rather than pointed attempt to misuse a pronoun.
- bmn__ 7y ago
  > ["They"] is common to hear, just as ["He"] > Many will mix between the "he/she" and "they" in the same conversation. That does not match my observed reality at all. All natural languages I know are gendered the same way English is. Singular "they" is already exceedingly uncommon by itself; and across all the languages, and in my whole life-time, never once I or a conversation partner used "they" instead of the specialised pronoun, or mixed in a conversation, when the gender of the person in question is explicitly known as GP wrote. The same is true for all written material I read in my whole life.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
  - anon12345690 7y ago
    ok so what? the entire problem is its not known because its different than normal. so we cant use the default gender because someone somewhere might not agree? and we cant use singular they because they dont like it? so what, we need to read minds? why? for the 0.01% of people who demand everyone else change? how about we forget all this and stick to the defaults. if YOU have a specific pronoun then you can ask but we dont need to rewrite posts and content at all
  - NeedMoreTea 7y ago
    All I can say is it matches mine. So we're at impasse I guess. English speech varies. Even across the UK there are dozens of regional accents and dialects. Now add the many regional variations across the USA and other world Englishes. All with their own traits and habits, some more widespread than others. A deep rabbit hole with many forks then. Common enough that I would not think it the slightest bit unnatural on hearing, or give it a second thought. I wouldn't give it a second thought reading it in a natural conversation in a book - not just in intentionally neutral business or net writing, so that's not going to be memorable. It's not an idiom I'd single out as localised to any one group or region. It would be memorable and feel odd reading if it were all that way in a novel's quoted conversation, or nearly all names with few pronouns like some telesales scripts seem to encourage. Not as common as he/she certainly, but I dunno 1:4 or 1:8 or something. I couldn't say what proportion is names not pronouns either. FWIW My people skew international, educated, Scots and perhaps city in a part of the UK that's well north of London.
- xibalba 7y ago
  > "Where's Dave?" > "They're in the garage, I think" I am born and raised US, have lived all over west coast and midwest, and have traveled extensively throughout all regions of US. I have never heard people use the singular they in this pattern. Where are you from? Wondering if perhaps it is a regional dialect difference.
  - anon12345690 7y ago
    a lot of times its when youre talking about people where you dont know the name or gender but its a single person easy to just say "they" instead of he or she. if you know what they are then you wouldnt keep using they
  - NeedMoreTea 7y ago
    North West of England. My circle skews international, educated, Scots and perhaps city. I've not noticed it as specific to any of the many regional or international dialects. So I can't pick it out as Scots or Mancunian for instance. It may fall under the generic UK North-South speech and language split.
anon12345690 7y ago
what are you even talking about? lol its used ALL THE TIME. also i can use normal pronouns and get along fine with 99.99% of people who dont demand that everyone else change for them if someone says call me "your majesty" are you gonna do it? cause thats what this is. a bunch of privileged and entitled people controlling everyone else.