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I ask this as an honest question, and not as a form of bait. But the virtue of using “they/their” is that you’re being respectful of the fact that you’re not as

I ask this as an honest question, and not as a form of bait. But the virtue of using “they/their” is that you’re being respectful of the fact that you’re not assuming anything. My problem with this suddenly becoming offensive is that I don’t see how I’m supposed to remember the additional meta of an individual’s pronouns - I already have enough trouble remembering names! Is it not creating too much of a meta minefield for...well I’m actually not sure what the gain is. Isn’t this just looking for offense where none is intended?

AgentME 7y ago
Sometimes people exclusively use "they/their" to refer to trans people who prefer "he" or "she" as a way to try to publicly demean the person's transness. This isn't a rare/theoretical occurrence. Most people understand that using "they/their" is a good default when you're talking about a specific person who you happen to not know the gender of. People get that using "they" isn't necessarily an attack, but if you for example do it in response to a message where their gender is made apparent, or if you only do it when talking about trans people, then it quickly starts looking rude.
- deleted 7y ago
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