13 ms·

Eh, if you aren't married, why bother getting your own place? Especially after living away at college for 4+ years, it's not so bad to come back home for a whil

Eh, if you aren't married, why bother getting your own place? Especially after living away at college for 4+ years, it's not so bad to come back home for a while.

refurb 7y ago
Having pride in being a self sufficient adult is one benefit of moving away from home. Going away to college is a halfway point. There is a whole infrastructure to help you with the transition. Moving out entirely on your own is a big step. You learn to take care of yourself and at least for me, there was a lot of pride in being able to say “This is my own life and I can take care of myself”.
- learc83 7y ago
  No one is really self sufficient. Unless you live in the woods, that's just an illusion. You're just dependent on people other than your family. Multi-generation housing has been the default throughout most of history, and is still common in many parts of the world. Being an adult and taking on extra responsibilities is orthogonal to whether or not you live in a multi-generational household.
  - refurb 7y ago
    No true Scotsman. Sure, no one is truly self-diffident, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a big difference between living on your own or living in your mom’s basement. And yes, multi-generational living was very common in the past, but so was having 5+ children. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better choice.
    - learc83 7y ago
      No true Scotsman isn't even remotely relevant. >that doesn’t mean there isn’t a big difference between living on your own or living in your mom’s basement. Where you live really says nothing about your level of responsibility or self-reliance. I know people who moved out when they were 18, but still depend on their parents for financial support, and I know people living at home who's parents depend on them for financial support. I know people who live with their families who can grow a significant portion of their own food, and people who live alone who would starve if DoorDash shut down. And I know people who live with their parents who have children of their own to care for, and people who live alone who have carefully orchestrated their lives to avoid any kind of responsibility to other people. >And yes, multi-generational living was very common in the past, but so was having 5+ children. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better choice. Not necessarily, but the converse is also true. You move out because you desire freedom. You wanted something, so you bought it. Don't frame it as something noble, or inherently superior.
- Slippery_John 7y ago
  I reject the idea that moving away from home is a necessary step to becoming a self sufficient adult. You don't have to move out to start taking care of yourself - you just have to pull your own weight, to contribute equally to bills and upkeep without having to be asked. Sure it's easy to fall into old routines, but I would argue that if you can't be independent while living with others then you really aren't independent. I live away from my parents, but that was a choice of practicality - the amount of money I make by doing so vastly outstrips the amount I would save by living at home.
  - refurb 7y ago
    I don’t disagree. I know people who still live at home because they have no choice - their family needs help and can’t get it any other way. But I also know a few folks who live at home because it’s just easier. No pesky mortgage to deal with, clothes always get washed, meals cooked, etc.
  - blub 7y ago
    Paying rent and cleaning the apartment are not really that impressive when they're happening in the parents' home. Of course you can reject the idea, but you'll find that you'll also be rejected more often by potential romantic partners.
wishinghand 7y ago
It depends on how thing the walls are and how tolerant parents are of overnight guests. I do wish the USA would have a more Finnish attitude in that regard. Often times they're fine with their kids spending the night at a lover's house even during high school.
- autoexec 7y ago
  I wonder if the US will start building love hotels like they have in Japan so that young couples have a place away from home they can spend intimate time together away from family.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

Eh, if you aren't married, why bother getting your own place? Especially after living away at college for 4+ years, it's not so bad to come back home for a while.

refurb 7y ago

Having pride in being a self sufficient adult is one benefit of moving away from home. Going away to college is a halfway point. There is a whole infrastructure to help you with the transition. Moving out entirely on your own is a big step. You learn to take care of yourself and at least for me, there was a lot of pride in being able to say “This is my own life and I can take care of myself”.

learc83 7y ago
No one is really self sufficient. Unless you live in the woods, that's just an illusion. You're just dependent on people other than your family. Multi-generation housing has been the default throughout most of history, and is still common in many parts of the world. Being an adult and taking on extra responsibilities is orthogonal to whether or not you live in a multi-generational household.
- refurb 7y ago
  No true Scotsman. Sure, no one is truly self-diffident, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a big difference between living on your own or living in your mom’s basement. And yes, multi-generational living was very common in the past, but so was having 5+ children. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better choice.
  - learc83 7y ago
    No true Scotsman isn't even remotely relevant. >that doesn’t mean there isn’t a big difference between living on your own or living in your mom’s basement. Where you live really says nothing about your level of responsibility or self-reliance. I know people who moved out when they were 18, but still depend on their parents for financial support, and I know people living at home who's parents depend on them for financial support. I know people who live with their families who can grow a significant portion of their own food, and people who live alone who would starve if DoorDash shut down. And I know people who live with their parents who have children of their own to care for, and people who live alone who have carefully orchestrated their lives to avoid any kind of responsibility to other people. >And yes, multi-generational living was very common in the past, but so was having 5+ children. That doesn’t necessarily make it a better choice. Not necessarily, but the converse is also true. You move out because you desire freedom. You wanted something, so you bought it. Don't frame it as something noble, or inherently superior.
Slippery_John 7y ago
I reject the idea that moving away from home is a necessary step to becoming a self sufficient adult. You don't have to move out to start taking care of yourself - you just have to pull your own weight, to contribute equally to bills and upkeep without having to be asked. Sure it's easy to fall into old routines, but I would argue that if you can't be independent while living with others then you really aren't independent. I live away from my parents, but that was a choice of practicality - the amount of money I make by doing so vastly outstrips the amount I would save by living at home.
- refurb 7y ago
  I don’t disagree. I know people who still live at home because they have no choice - their family needs help and can’t get it any other way. But I also know a few folks who live at home because it’s just easier. No pesky mortgage to deal with, clothes always get washed, meals cooked, etc.
- blub 7y ago
  Paying rent and cleaning the apartment are not really that impressive when they're happening in the parents' home. Of course you can reject the idea, but you'll find that you'll also be rejected more often by potential romantic partners.

wishinghand 7y ago

It depends on how thing the walls are and how tolerant parents are of overnight guests. I do wish the USA would have a more Finnish attitude in that regard. Often times they're fine with their kids spending the night at a lover's house even during high school.

autoexec 7y ago
I wonder if the US will start building love hotels like they have in Japan so that young couples have a place away from home they can spend intimate time together away from family.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]