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Why should he care? Because there is clearly a lack of regulation over the sperm-donor industry. It is extremely dangerous for men to make these deposits. A f

by mmjaa 7y ago

Why should he care? Because there is clearly a lack of regulation over the sperm-donor industry. It is extremely dangerous for men to make these deposits. A friend of mine made a deposit in a sperm donor bank prior to getting a vasectomy. Two years later, he met a woman, who he dated for a few weeks before breaking it off. 9 months later, he was presented with child support demands from the state. She had stalked him, determined he had made a deposit in the sperm bank, then specifically chosen his profile to get pregnant. He is now liable for child support, whether he likes it or not, for the rest of his life (California, in case its of importance). They didn't have sex - she stalked him, got artificially inseminated, and then went to the state to extract money from him. He now has a kid he never wanted, and is resigned to being a father to the child, even though he never planned it and it was forced upon him by a criminal stalker. This highlights just how dangerous it is for men to use these services. Clearly, more regulation and oversight is required - especially if sperm banks are making their own decisions about how their resources are applied.

SmellyGeekBoy 7y ago
There will be records for the vasectomy and the insemination that could be subpoena'd by a court, no?
lalaland1125 7y ago
Either your friend was lying or he should get a better lawyer. The relevant law in California states that sperm donors are not legal parents: “The donor of semen provided to a licensed physician and surgeon or to a licensed sperm bank for use in assisted reproduction of a woman other than the donor’s spouse is treated in law as if he were not the natural parent of a child thereby conceived, unless otherwise agreed to in a writing signed by the donor and the woman prior to the conception of the child,” states California Family Code 7613.
- silencio 7y ago
  agreed. time to talk to a lawyer. also maybe the sperm bank, as it’s not trivial at most of them to discover who the donor is to that degree. certainly makes me raise an eyebrow that the timing was so perfect too. i have a further thought - i am a legal owner of an “intimate partner” storage account where my partner’s sperm is stored for only my use as their spouse. even with the very very low FDA testing/paperwork bar for this type of account, there’s a paper trail that can be followed and a chain of custody for every single vial ever used. they’ll have even more documentation if the friend’s sperm was ever for sale.
- mmjaa 7y ago
  My friend didn't lie. The reason he is liable is because he dated her, a fact she kept evidence of, in order to present at the alimony hearing. The judge assumed this was enough to prove his responsibility for the child she then conceived (without him). That's the crux.
  - lalaland1125 7y ago
    This is why you have the right of discovery in court cases. He could simply show that she was lying by demonstrating that she got sperm from the sperm bank. (Alternatively, he could have proven that he had a vasectomy before they dated). Both of those two things leave hard medical records. Like I said before, either your friend lied or he needs a better lawyer. Given the story that you stated, the law is definitely on his side.
    - mmjaa 7y ago
      He did all that. The judge decided he needed to pay child support anyway. The rights of the child were greater than that of my friend. Anyway, he fought back and is now a very dedicated father. He has visitation rights, and soon enough the childs decision to move in with her Dad, because her Mom is a criminal, will be ratified in court ..
- magduf 7y ago
  >Either your friend was lying or he should get a better lawyer. This is the problem with people saying "this isn't legal in America": it's all based on how good your lawyer is, and if you can't afford Johnny Cochrane, you get screwed, no matter what the law says.
codegeek 7y ago
"specifically chosen his profile to get pregnant" So can he not prove this in court ? Sure it still adds hassle for him to go through all this legal stuff. But it is not like he just has to shut up and pay IF what you said is true.
- mmjaa 7y ago
  He did go to court. She lied and said she got pregnant by him when they were dating.
magic_beans 7y ago
Your friend must have realized that there was a possibility of his future child (or multiple future children) seeking him out one day. You don't donate to a sperm bank if you NEVER want to have a kid. Did he need $40 that badly? Your friend was not very wise here.
- magduf 7y ago
  Maybe he wanted to help infertile couples to have a child, and thought he could offer good genetics to such couples, with the agreement that he wouldn't be financially responsible for the children. He never intended to offer his genetic code to a psycho stalker who abused his donation in order to get him on the hook for 18 years of child support.

by mmjaa 7y ago

SmellyGeekBoy 7y ago

There will be records for the vasectomy and the insemination that could be subpoena'd by a court, no?

lalaland1125 7y ago

Either your friend was lying or he should get a better lawyer. The relevant law in California states that sperm donors are not legal parents: “The donor of semen provided to a licensed physician and surgeon or to a licensed sperm bank for use in assisted reproduction of a woman other than the donor’s spouse is treated in law as if he were not the natural parent of a child thereby conceived, unless otherwise agreed to in a writing signed by the donor and the woman prior to the conception of the child,” states California Family Code 7613.

silencio 7y ago
agreed. time to talk to a lawyer. also maybe the sperm bank, as it’s not trivial at most of them to discover who the donor is to that degree. certainly makes me raise an eyebrow that the timing was so perfect too. i have a further thought - i am a legal owner of an “intimate partner” storage account where my partner’s sperm is stored for only my use as their spouse. even with the very very low FDA testing/paperwork bar for this type of account, there’s a paper trail that can be followed and a chain of custody for every single vial ever used. they’ll have even more documentation if the friend’s sperm was ever for sale.
mmjaa 7y ago
My friend didn't lie. The reason he is liable is because he dated her, a fact she kept evidence of, in order to present at the alimony hearing. The judge assumed this was enough to prove his responsibility for the child she then conceived (without him). That's the crux.
- lalaland1125 7y ago
  This is why you have the right of discovery in court cases. He could simply show that she was lying by demonstrating that she got sperm from the sperm bank. (Alternatively, he could have proven that he had a vasectomy before they dated). Both of those two things leave hard medical records. Like I said before, either your friend lied or he needs a better lawyer. Given the story that you stated, the law is definitely on his side.
  - mmjaa 7y ago
    He did all that. The judge decided he needed to pay child support anyway. The rights of the child were greater than that of my friend. Anyway, he fought back and is now a very dedicated father. He has visitation rights, and soon enough the childs decision to move in with her Dad, because her Mom is a criminal, will be ratified in court ..
magduf 7y ago
>Either your friend was lying or he should get a better lawyer. This is the problem with people saying "this isn't legal in America": it's all based on how good your lawyer is, and if you can't afford Johnny Cochrane, you get screwed, no matter what the law says.

codegeek 7y ago

"specifically chosen his profile to get pregnant" So can he not prove this in court ? Sure it still adds hassle for him to go through all this legal stuff. But it is not like he just has to shut up and pay IF what you said is true.

mmjaa 7y ago
He did go to court. She lied and said she got pregnant by him when they were dating.

magic_beans 7y ago

Your friend must have realized that there was a possibility of his future child (or multiple future children) seeking him out one day. You don't donate to a sperm bank if you NEVER want to have a kid. Did he need $40 that badly? Your friend was not very wise here.

magduf 7y ago
Maybe he wanted to help infertile couples to have a child, and thought he could offer good genetics to such couples, with the agreement that he wouldn't be financially responsible for the children. He never intended to offer his genetic code to a psycho stalker who abused his donation in order to get him on the hook for 18 years of child support.