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Just means you are responsible for deploying more liquid capital into productive assets. Have fun finding those. If you are creative and a builder, the people w

Just means you are responsible for deploying more liquid capital into productive assets. Have fun finding those. If you are creative and a builder, the people who made you what you are were the ones who told you "no," and now there are a lot fewer of those once they think you have money. Barring a few quality of life things and some freedom, the rest is just symbols and artifacts. That bit about finding a woman who will love him for who he is inside and not for his money is silly. In case he hasn't noticed, who he is inside is also now richer than croesus as well. Very simply, the money event was a huge recent peak experience that totally re-based his identity, and until he either recognizes it again as external, or accumulates newer more intense experiences to offset it, he's going to struggle with accepting it and finding a personal equilibrium again. If he wants a partner to validate that he is more than his money, he's starting from a dangerously flawed premise. If he takes responsibility for himself and his identity and doesn't outsource his self worth to a partner/family, he'll be fine. Otherwise, he should just put up a dating profile that says, "millionaire seeks emotional hostage for codependent death spiral." I'm a fan of Epictetus on that one, who essentially rephrases it so that things are not yours, they are things you relate to. e.g. the family I have, support, love etc, instead of "my family." It's not "my money," because it's not essential to who he is, it's "the money I have." I'd say if he's looking for someone to complete and validate his essential idea of himself "without the money," he doesn't have a sufficiently complete sense of self yet to share. He'll probably be cooler after 40. Anyway, good luck to anyone who ends up in this situation. It's rare and a huge distraction from more basic human needs that might have still needed work before the event. I like to think I would make a very good rich person, but mostly because it sounds like an interesting job.

dangus 7y ago
I think the whole thing boils down to the idea that, someone who manages to make this much money on pure ambition, hard work, and yes, a decent amount of luck and being in the right place in the right time - well, they’re not likely to be able to enjoy this amount of wealth. They ground it out in a way that I can’t even imagine having the energy to do. I’m a relatively lazy 9-5er who basically refuses to work past 5:01 PM unless there’s a pants on fire emergency. If I had 600 million dollars, that’s it. I’d never work again. It’s really that simple. I would sleep just fine knowing that I have already completed my life’s task of providing for myself and my family. I’d be basically doing what the old dude on the Netflix original “Samurai Gourmet” is doing. Walking around finding the next place to eat lunch and solving minor conflicts in between food porn segments. Or just taking up whatever hobby I want, traveling the world like MySpace Tom.
- theonething 7y ago
  I'm with you all the way on this one. There are so many more interesting things to do than work. Yes, the old adage is do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Problem is what I love to do: relax, enjoy time with my family, read, watch Star Trek reruns... pays squat.
  - dangus 7y ago
    I mean, I haven’t even gotten through all of deep space nine because I haven’t had the time! Because of work!
- Agentlien 7y ago
  My father used to be a very diligent worker who did a fair amount of overtime and always seemed to be in the middle of some important project at work. When it came time for him to retire he expressed concern that he'd be bored or feel a lack of purpose. A few years later he commented how it still felt like every day was a vacation and there hadn't been a single day that he regretted retiring. He still keeps very busy, always has projects and plans. But it's all things he feels like doing and he has no external commitments. He can change his mind at a moment's notice and go on a roadtrip to another European country. In fact, my parents have done so multiple times since retiring.
alexis_fr 7y ago
I’m upvoting and I wish you could develop your first 4.5 paragraphs. The rest is just logical conclusions, but each of your first 4§ nails something that I’m not entirely grasping about identity and love, and I bet there are hundreds of people who would benefit from this too. (there are many other ways - a slightly more developed essay, a discussion filmed and made available on Youtube, etc).
solotronics 7y ago
I became a paper millionaire due to cryptocurrencies and it almost upset my entire life. My outlook and some of my habits changed for the worse for a period until I was able to readjust. Luckily I was able to take a step back and look at myself and decide I wanted to define myself based on core characteristics. I can see how it is a trap you can fall into to define yourself based on money because it is something many of us work hard to achieve.
AnimalMuppet 7y ago
> That bit about finding a woman who will love him for who he is inside and not for his money is silly. In case he hasn't noticed, who he is inside is also now richer than croesus as well. That's not who he is inside. As Gabriel Garcia Marquez said, "I am not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing." And if money isn't really part of his internal identity, if he sees it as something kind of separate from himself, then it's perfectly reasonable for him to want a woman who loves him, not just his bank account. In fact, it's perfectly reasonable even if he has internalized his wealth. Who wants to be married to a gold digger?
- motohagiography 7y ago
  Re: Marquez, if he is merely a poor man with money, why, given the options, should someone want a man who identifies as poor, and still again in spite of having money? Further, why make the long bet on a guy who got what he wanted and is still unhappy. The "gold digging," accusation seems like sour grapes to me. If you are newly wealthy but are preoccupied with ideas like this, get thee to a wealth manager who will tie up your money, either in a trust and a directed giving fund, or a some hedge funds with a lock in period, or get you participation in VC funds with people whose judgment you respect. Seriously, what really smart thing were you planning on doing with it? If you didn't have a plan, let me introduce you to some yacht brokers, because so long as the boat costs you less than half your net worth, I assure you it's a better financial plan than finding true love.
  - AnimalMuppet 7y ago
    > so long as the boat costs you less than half your net worth, I assure you it's a better financial plan than finding true love. Now who's doing sour grapes?
    - motohagiography 7y ago
      So, it was a joke, however I think it was Jane Austen who said something along the lines of, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a super yacht, must be in want of a wife..” which I'm totally sure is true.
haltingproblem 7y ago
Upvoting because there is a lot to unpack here. As others have noted below, it would be a worthwhile to many and I daresay yourself to develop it. Perhaps you meant he "accumalates newer more internal experiences to offset it". The problem I see with his outlook and many other entrepreneurs is that we are only as alive as the warmth radiating from our last kill - the hunt we bagged or the corpse of our last startup. The colder the kill the less alive we feel. In the model of existence of being-doing-having [1] the ones who are the happiest are the most fulfilled are the ones who embrace being –> doing –> having instead of having –> doing –> being. [1] http://www.davewheitner.com/living-life-forward-the-being-doing-having-model/ http://www.davewheitner.com/living-life-forward-the-being-do...
- motohagiography 7y ago
  Appreciated. I've got a book simmering on the back burner and that's where some of these ideas have more form, but the statements were precise. There are a few cognitive hacks that (like your very good "being, doing, having") that make more sense in the context of conversations like this. If I finish the book, I'll do a Show HN post.

dangus 7y ago

I think the whole thing boils down to the idea that, someone who manages to make this much money on pure ambition, hard work, and yes, a decent amount of luck and being in the right place in the right time - well, they’re not likely to be able to enjoy this amount of wealth. They ground it out in a way that I can’t even imagine having the energy to do. I’m a relatively lazy 9-5er who basically refuses to work past 5:01 PM unless there’s a pants on fire emergency. If I had 600 million dollars, that’s it. I’d never work again. It’s really that simple. I would sleep just fine knowing that I have already completed my life’s task of providing for myself and my family. I’d be basically doing what the old dude on the Netflix original “Samurai Gourmet” is doing. Walking around finding the next place to eat lunch and solving minor conflicts in between food porn segments. Or just taking up whatever hobby I want, traveling the world like MySpace Tom.

theonething 7y ago
I'm with you all the way on this one. There are so many more interesting things to do than work. Yes, the old adage is do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Problem is what I love to do: relax, enjoy time with my family, read, watch Star Trek reruns... pays squat.
- dangus 7y ago
  I mean, I haven’t even gotten through all of deep space nine because I haven’t had the time! Because of work!
Agentlien 7y ago
My father used to be a very diligent worker who did a fair amount of overtime and always seemed to be in the middle of some important project at work. When it came time for him to retire he expressed concern that he'd be bored or feel a lack of purpose. A few years later he commented how it still felt like every day was a vacation and there hadn't been a single day that he regretted retiring. He still keeps very busy, always has projects and plans. But it's all things he feels like doing and he has no external commitments. He can change his mind at a moment's notice and go on a roadtrip to another European country. In fact, my parents have done so multiple times since retiring.

alexis_fr 7y ago

I’m upvoting and I wish you could develop your first 4.5 paragraphs. The rest is just logical conclusions, but each of your first 4§ nails something that I’m not entirely grasping about identity and love, and I bet there are hundreds of people who would benefit from this too. (there are many other ways - a slightly more developed essay, a discussion filmed and made available on Youtube, etc).

solotronics 7y ago

I became a paper millionaire due to cryptocurrencies and it almost upset my entire life. My outlook and some of my habits changed for the worse for a period until I was able to readjust. Luckily I was able to take a step back and look at myself and decide I wanted to define myself based on core characteristics. I can see how it is a trap you can fall into to define yourself based on money because it is something many of us work hard to achieve.

AnimalMuppet 7y ago

> That bit about finding a woman who will love him for who he is inside and not for his money is silly. In case he hasn't noticed, who he is inside is also now richer than croesus as well. That's not who he is inside. As Gabriel Garcia Marquez said, "I am not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing." And if money isn't really part of his internal identity, if he sees it as something kind of separate from himself, then it's perfectly reasonable for him to want a woman who loves him, not just his bank account. In fact, it's perfectly reasonable even if he has internalized his wealth. Who wants to be married to a gold digger?

motohagiography 7y ago
Re: Marquez, if he is merely a poor man with money, why, given the options, should someone want a man who identifies as poor, and still again in spite of having money? Further, why make the long bet on a guy who got what he wanted and is still unhappy. The "gold digging," accusation seems like sour grapes to me. If you are newly wealthy but are preoccupied with ideas like this, get thee to a wealth manager who will tie up your money, either in a trust and a directed giving fund, or a some hedge funds with a lock in period, or get you participation in VC funds with people whose judgment you respect. Seriously, what really smart thing were you planning on doing with it? If you didn't have a plan, let me introduce you to some yacht brokers, because so long as the boat costs you less than half your net worth, I assure you it's a better financial plan than finding true love.
- AnimalMuppet 7y ago
  > so long as the boat costs you less than half your net worth, I assure you it's a better financial plan than finding true love. Now who's doing sour grapes?
  - motohagiography 7y ago
    So, it was a joke, however I think it was Jane Austen who said something along the lines of, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a super yacht, must be in want of a wife..” which I'm totally sure is true.

haltingproblem 7y ago

Upvoting because there is a lot to unpack here. As others have noted below, it would be a worthwhile to many and I daresay yourself to develop it. Perhaps you meant he "accumalates newer more internal experiences to offset it". The problem I see with his outlook and many other entrepreneurs is that we are only as alive as the warmth radiating from our last kill - the hunt we bagged or the corpse of our last startup. The colder the kill the less alive we feel. In the model of existence of being-doing-having [1] the ones who are the happiest are the most fulfilled are the ones who embrace being –> doing –> having instead of having –> doing –> being. [1] http://www.davewheitner.com/living-life-forward-the-being-doing-having-model/ http://www.davewheitner.com/living-life-forward-the-being-do...

motohagiography 7y ago
Appreciated. I've got a book simmering on the back burner and that's where some of these ideas have more form, but the statements were precise. There are a few cognitive hacks that (like your very good "being, doing, having") that make more sense in the context of conversations like this. If I finish the book, I'll do a Show HN post.