Back in the day of Total Quality Management and ISO9002 the software company I worked for decided to get itself certified. Problem was, nobody had a clue how to

Back in the day of Total Quality Management and ISO9002 the software company I worked for decided to get itself certified. Problem was, nobody had a clue how to quickly describe the business of creating software as a set of processes, let alone apply them in measurable ways under the beady gaze of an auditor. So with evil inspiration it was decreed that the software division had no processes at all. The customers could rest assured that the Accounts and Marketing departments were fully ISO9002 compliant - as for the actual product they were buying? spun out of desperate sweat and divine revelations so far as they could tell. But this didn't entirely get the software division off the hook. We still had to be able to show an auditor that we knew our processes were excluded. So there was a special folder containing just one functional page besides the meta-bumf to support it, and it read (in effect) "THE ACTIVITIES OF THE SOFTWARE DEPT ARE EXCLUDED FROM ISO9002 PROCESSES". And we were all trained to be able to produce it upon demand. We passed the audit. Our letterhead paper gained the magical ISO9002 seal of approval. The administrator who had championed the long and expensive business sprung from its success to a much larger company. In her absence the process documentation for the rest of the company quietly withered and when the follow-up audit came due we quietly neglected to apply for it. The letterhead paper was reprinted with a snazzier logo and no seal of approval. We got back to work, quietly apprehending the next big thing.