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I don't think the solution is to your ailments is to reconnect on Facebook. I think there's pressure to keep people in your lives that are not involved, partly

I don't think the solution is to your ailments is to reconnect on Facebook. I think there's pressure to keep people in your lives that are not involved, partly to do with tradition and partly to do with the way social media now works. Instead of browsing Facebook, why not make the time to actually see these people in real lives, call them on the phone, facetime them, write them a letter? What I am trying to do for myself is invest in the meaningful relationships and eliminating personal social media has helped provide that focus for the people that I want in my life.

vonseel 7y ago
While I understand your sentiment, I just don't think connecting with most people by phone or in person is actually feasible. I keep direct text groups open to my immediate family members and closest friends, but I rarely text my sister-in-laws, and I almost never directly contact my cousins, aunts, or uncles. It just doesn't make sense to say "why not call them" as a counter-argument when we don't have that kind of relationship. As for sending a letter... most of us stopped doing that in the 1990s unless you were in jail or sending banking statements. I've noticed the most active commenters on my Facebook stuff these days are all family members, so I have a ton of extended family that stays aware of what I'm doing through that. And of my ~850 connections on Facebook, I could probably delete 80% of those and it would be a more realistic picture of either 1) family or 2) people I actually know and have talked to in the last 3-5 years.
- nickstinemates 7y ago
  I completely understand your point. I am perplexed at the value of these 'distant relationships' and question if they're necessary. I have spent a lot of time thinking about that and have no good answer.
  - vonseel 7y ago
    They aren't really necessary. Honestly, if you aren't super worried about privacy, having a FB account just to open when you get curious and want to check in on someone (if they are an active poster) isn't so bad. It's the mindless addictive scrolling that gets me.
    - nickstinemates 7y ago
      I tried that for a few years, actually. It made it seem even more pointless. I held on to the account because I am into competitive Bass Fishing and my clubs only presence was on Facebook. Since I've left Facebook, I'm no longer in the club and it really hasn't made much of a difference.

vonseel 7y ago

While I understand your sentiment, I just don't think connecting with most people by phone or in person is actually feasible. I keep direct text groups open to my immediate family members and closest friends, but I rarely text my sister-in-laws, and I almost never directly contact my cousins, aunts, or uncles. It just doesn't make sense to say "why not call them" as a counter-argument when we don't have that kind of relationship. As for sending a letter... most of us stopped doing that in the 1990s unless you were in jail or sending banking statements. I've noticed the most active commenters on my Facebook stuff these days are all family members, so I have a ton of extended family that stays aware of what I'm doing through that. And of my ~850 connections on Facebook, I could probably delete 80% of those and it would be a more realistic picture of either 1) family or 2) people I actually know and have talked to in the last 3-5 years.

nickstinemates 7y ago
I completely understand your point. I am perplexed at the value of these 'distant relationships' and question if they're necessary. I have spent a lot of time thinking about that and have no good answer.
- vonseel 7y ago
  They aren't really necessary. Honestly, if you aren't super worried about privacy, having a FB account just to open when you get curious and want to check in on someone (if they are an active poster) isn't so bad. It's the mindless addictive scrolling that gets me.
  - nickstinemates 7y ago
    I tried that for a few years, actually. It made it seem even more pointless. I held on to the account because I am into competitive Bass Fishing and my clubs only presence was on Facebook. Since I've left Facebook, I'm no longer in the club and it really hasn't made much of a difference.