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>“We’re colleagues, but we can also laugh as friends!” It doesn't even take time. Statements like the above are invariably lies. Seeing friends and acquantance
by snagglegaggle 7y ago
>“We’re colleagues, but we can also laugh as friends!”
It doesn't even take time. Statements like the above are invariably lies. Seeing friends and acquantances or their friends and acquantances harassed or fired for innocuous or misunderstood comments has reinforced to me that the least amount of contact with your coworkers is desireable. I was told this long ago but did not initially believe.
It has also changed how I see other cultures. Most are intolerant in their own way. In particular the adage that Europeans are more open about politics is not really true -- they're more willing to discuss policy not found elsewhere, but react similarly poorly to other cultures to foreign ideas.
- artsyca 7y agoYou gotta ask yourself what are you actually doing if you invest such a large portion of your daily life amongst people with whom you can't be intimately vulnerable?
- snagglegaggle 7y agoThat is a good question. I guess it's kind of like making friends at school -- you socialize because you're in the same place, not because of some deep inherent connection. Coupled with a lack of work it may be hard to move jobs. I am surprised at how easily people in HN take on new jobs and negotiate for better pay.
- artsyca 7y agoYes, but the difference is we choose our work families -- ostensibly we're working together towards a common vision of some sort whereas we are simply thrust into our school lives by our parents Corporatism has a rich history and it used to be 'for life' whereas nowadays the stark and frankly short sighted careerism plaguing industry is having a detriment on true long term prospects
- artsyca 7y agoIn other words, true corporatism relies on deep long term connection and vulnerable intimacy, whereas false corporatism rests on shallow guarded careerism and we're investing our entire livelihoods on a confidence scam
- artsyca 7y agoWhat I mean is, writing software with other people is about as intimate as you can get, you are literally combining your thoughts on paper and creating a shared paradigm If you believe that can be done while simulateously avoiding all intimacy on a personal level, the irony will defeat you every time and your software will fail Being a true software dev means warts and all or not at all
- snagglegaggle 7y agoHmm, this does explain what I had experienced. Most of my friends are not in IT. There are people I eventually get to know (and that others I know get to know) it's just going into a job trying to make friends can be an extremely bad idea, at least from what I have seen. Thanks for the comments
- artsyca 7y agoHey you seem relatively new to HN -- welcome to Hotel California
- artsyca 7y agoIt's like a git repo.. you can check out, but you can never leave
- artsyca 7y agoWork people ought to be closer than family and friends if you really think about it --
- artsyca 7y agoHear me out: assuming we have some kind of freedom and actually choose to work at a company and we're not slaves -- We are investing the vast majority of our efforts on work, even 8 hours per day, not to mention most of our productive moments and brain cycles. Our immediate family comes a distant second in many cases If the people we work with mean nothing to us, how can we justify investing so much of our best selves with them? What does that mean for our so called loved ones whom we sacrifice continuously? Are we sacrificing them for people we hardly care about? That means we hardly care about them even less! The only way this works is if we actually care about the people we work with and the mission of the company, otherwise stay home