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Men aren't sharing feelings in a way I understand most of the time, and I'm one of them. I could never get my friends to truly open up unless it was a one on o

Men aren't sharing feelings in a way I understand most of the time, and I'm one of them. I could never get my friends to truly open up unless it was a one on one conversation.

Consultant32452 7y ago
That's not how men process things. Men process things by trying to eliminate perceived unnecessary information and take action. Women are more inclined to want to sit down and discuss all the details of whatever is going on, many of those details the man would not perceive as useful. This is the age old men vs women problem where women feel like men don't want to talk about problems/feelings and men feel like women just want to blabber on without ever solving anything.
- PhasmaFelis 7y ago
  > That's not how men process things. Men process things by trying to eliminate perceived unnecessary information and take action. Women are more inclined to want to sit down and discuss all the details of whatever is going on, many of those details the man would not perceive as useful. I'm a man. Sometimes I do the former, more often the latter. And I do feel shamed for that, sometimes. Expecting men and women to fit into neat, stereotyped boxes like this is a big part of the problem.
  - Consultant32452 7y ago
    I didn't mean every single man on the planet any more than the article did. It's not helpful to change conversations from one level of abstraction to another.
- johnny22 7y ago
  So you're telling me how I process things? Really....
- dang 7y ago
  If you're going to draw the line that way, then I'm more on what you call the 'man' side in not liking to talk about problems/feelings much. But if that leads you (speaking generally—I don't mean you personally) to deny your pain and avoid your demons, then you are doomed to repeat the same painful loop forever, and ultimately to inflict your unprocessed pain on those closest to you. That's a situation that calls for eliminating unnecessary information and taking action if ever there was one. What's needed are ways of taking that action, i.e. processing things, i.e. facing-healing-overcoming rather than denying, which actually work.
  - Consultant32452 7y ago
    I think the difference, in purely the speaking aspect is that men are more hierarchical while women are more communal. A man will ask a trusted man, usually higher in that particular hierarchy, for advice. Women will gather in groups and complain as a mechanism for problem solving, emotional release, and bonding. Men bond and have emotional release in different ways. I think both groups tend to have similar benefits from their respective actions.

Men aren't sharing feelings in a way I understand most of the time, and I'm one of them. I could never get my friends to truly open up unless it was a one on one conversation.

Consultant32452 7y ago

That's not how men process things. Men process things by trying to eliminate perceived unnecessary information and take action. Women are more inclined to want to sit down and discuss all the details of whatever is going on, many of those details the man would not perceive as useful. This is the age old men vs women problem where women feel like men don't want to talk about problems/feelings and men feel like women just want to blabber on without ever solving anything.

PhasmaFelis 7y ago
> That's not how men process things. Men process things by trying to eliminate perceived unnecessary information and take action. Women are more inclined to want to sit down and discuss all the details of whatever is going on, many of those details the man would not perceive as useful. I'm a man. Sometimes I do the former, more often the latter. And I do feel shamed for that, sometimes. Expecting men and women to fit into neat, stereotyped boxes like this is a big part of the problem.
- Consultant32452 7y ago
  I didn't mean every single man on the planet any more than the article did. It's not helpful to change conversations from one level of abstraction to another.
johnny22 7y ago
So you're telling me how I process things? Really....
dang 7y ago
If you're going to draw the line that way, then I'm more on what you call the 'man' side in not liking to talk about problems/feelings much. But if that leads you (speaking generally—I don't mean you personally) to deny your pain and avoid your demons, then you are doomed to repeat the same painful loop forever, and ultimately to inflict your unprocessed pain on those closest to you. That's a situation that calls for eliminating unnecessary information and taking action if ever there was one. What's needed are ways of taking that action, i.e. processing things, i.e. facing-healing-overcoming rather than denying, which actually work.
- Consultant32452 7y ago
  I think the difference, in purely the speaking aspect is that men are more hierarchical while women are more communal. A man will ask a trusted man, usually higher in that particular hierarchy, for advice. Women will gather in groups and complain as a mechanism for problem solving, emotional release, and bonding. Men bond and have emotional release in different ways. I think both groups tend to have similar benefits from their respective actions.