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No man is an island. And it is hard to know if you ARE "handling your own problems" when you do not seek other people's input. "Handling your own problems" a l

No man is an island. And it is hard to know if you ARE "handling your own problems" when you do not seek other people's input. "Handling your own problems" a lot of the time means "making other people responsible for my emotional well being." I do love stoicism though and I think meditation and stoicism are excellent paths to understanding yourself and managing your internal state.

joeyrideout 7y ago
I generally take "[h]andling your own problems" to mean taking responsibility for your own problems. I'm seeing a lot of agreement in this thread, though. Healthy, deep relationships with family and close friends are important to keep you grounded, and therapy can help everyone. Many seemingly desirable positions of status that men and women strive for involve incredible amounts of stress, and people naturally have differing levels of stress tolerance, so at some point self-knowledge becomes very valuable. Having good people around you is a great way to build that self-knowledge.
thrower123 7y ago
Are you going to work? Are you reasonably content? Then you are handling your problems. Some people really seem to want men to be very emotional and assume something is wrong if they don't appear to be showing strong emotions. Often, they're just fine, and there's no there there. If you keep picking at them, you'll probably generate some emotions, however.
- indigochill 7y ago
  I'm not sure the point is expression per se, or always being emotional, but rather being okay with introspecting on emotions when they do come up and more to the point, what's causing them. I'd compare it to a tooth abscess. It's not like it's so painful you need to scream. It's just kind of there, occasionally causing problems. But if it goes untreated long enough, the bacteria in it can kill you. There are some parallels there with loneliness, which a lot of men suffer from. So I'd say this is more the realization that "Oh, this pain is because of this source. I'm gonna go deal with that source." The process of dealing might involve making your emotions known (such as when breaking up). Of course, if you're legitimately not in any kind of pain, then great. But most people are, in one form or another.
johnisgood 7y ago
> "Handling your own problems" a lot of the time means "making other people responsible for my emotional well being." This is new to me. Making other people responsible for my emotional well-being is being dependent on other people for our own happiness. Stoicism does not suggest that you do this, on the contrary.

joeyrideout 7y ago

I generally take "[h]andling your own problems" to mean taking responsibility for your own problems. I'm seeing a lot of agreement in this thread, though. Healthy, deep relationships with family and close friends are important to keep you grounded, and therapy can help everyone. Many seemingly desirable positions of status that men and women strive for involve incredible amounts of stress, and people naturally have differing levels of stress tolerance, so at some point self-knowledge becomes very valuable. Having good people around you is a great way to build that self-knowledge.

thrower123 7y ago

Are you going to work? Are you reasonably content? Then you are handling your problems. Some people really seem to want men to be very emotional and assume something is wrong if they don't appear to be showing strong emotions. Often, they're just fine, and there's no there there. If you keep picking at them, you'll probably generate some emotions, however.

indigochill 7y ago
I'm not sure the point is expression per se, or always being emotional, but rather being okay with introspecting on emotions when they do come up and more to the point, what's causing them. I'd compare it to a tooth abscess. It's not like it's so painful you need to scream. It's just kind of there, occasionally causing problems. But if it goes untreated long enough, the bacteria in it can kill you. There are some parallels there with loneliness, which a lot of men suffer from. So I'd say this is more the realization that "Oh, this pain is because of this source. I'm gonna go deal with that source." The process of dealing might involve making your emotions known (such as when breaking up). Of course, if you're legitimately not in any kind of pain, then great. But most people are, in one form or another.

johnisgood 7y ago

> "Handling your own problems" a lot of the time means "making other people responsible for my emotional well being." This is new to me. Making other people responsible for my emotional well-being is being dependent on other people for our own happiness. Stoicism does not suggest that you do this, on the contrary.