>I sometimes call it the "Grief economy" -- The entity which can suffer the most grief "wins" . This is sadly true of human relationships as well. I've seen it

>I sometimes call it the "Grief economy" -- The entity which can suffer the most grief "wins" . This is sadly true of human relationships as well. I've seen it phrased as "the person who cares the least in a relationship has the most power". If you are madly in love with your partner but they are slightly cooler on you, they are in a stronger position because they are more willing to risk or even break the relationship to get what they want. If you're a very clean person but your roommate is a slob, you're screwed because they're just fine with a level of mess that will quickly drive you nuts.