3 ms·

> I've also been actually harassed, publicly humiliated, attacked and beaten for being "a fag" Do you think that the person who looked at you and proceeded to

by mnsc 7y ago

> I've also been actually harassed, publicly humiliated, attacked and beaten for being "a fag" Do you think that the person who looked at you and proceeded to call you a fag showed you respect?

wazoox 7y ago
Certainly not, but if had it been only this, I would hardly remember it, you know. Being insulted isn't the same thing as being harassed which is different from being beaten and is different from being raped, then all of this is also different when it's one-on-one and when it's done publicly: being insulted, spit on and beaten to the ground in front of many people isn't the same, either. Circumstances, again.
- mnsc 7y ago
  Yes of course context and circumstance matters but my point is that this "respect" thing that we are talking about requires a bit of empathy. And now that we have established that you have been clearly disrespected maybe you can go to your feelings that came when that happened, anger, fear, sadness I don't know and then imagine that the person you refer to by a pronoun that they don't relate to feel those feelings, even though you think that they shouldn't feel that way. Wouldn't it be respectful of you honor their wishes despite your opinion that this is a "very dangerous and toxic ideology" and an "overarching extension of individualism" (did you mean overreaching though?). Or do you just say "Fuck their feelings, I've been through worse, they should be glad it's 'only this'"?
  - wazoox 7y ago
    Intentions matter. When someone calls me "madam", I know this bears generally no bad intent. Therefore I don't make any fuss about it. I've worked for a doctor doing sex change treatments, a long time ago. I've seen people that suffered incredibly. Some of them looked like caricatures, but that was certainly not funny. I took, naturally, great care in calling them "sir" or "madam" as they expected (and it sometimes required actual effort, and it was poignant and upsetting just thinking of the looks these persons must have received back outdoors). However I don't feel like wanting to be called some very special pronoun that nobody ever heard of because you're oh so special falls into the same category. I don't feel that people wanting to be in their own very special niche class of genre, race or whatever category is sane, good and healthy, or some form of progress. Happiness isn't finding some form of very individualistic achievement.
    - mnsc 7y ago
      > I don't feel that people wanting to be in their own very special niche class of genre, race or whatever category is sane, good and healthy, or some form of progress. Happiness isn't finding some form of very individualistic achievement. 1) That's not a feeling, that's an opinion. 2) And really? Do you think you have the answer to how people should find "happiness". Then you should write one more book on the subject and become another self help millionaire. You seem appropriately sure of yourself so, go nuts!
- mnsc 7y ago
  Side note: this is how you look in my mind. https://dethklok.fandom.com/wiki/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf https://dethklok.fandom.com/wiki/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf
  - wazoox 7y ago
    Close enough.

by mnsc 7y ago

> I've also been actually harassed, publicly humiliated, attacked and beaten for being "a fag" Do you think that the person who looked at you and proceeded to call you a fag showed you respect?

wazoox 7y ago

Certainly not, but if had it been only this, I would hardly remember it, you know. Being insulted isn't the same thing as being harassed which is different from being beaten and is different from being raped, then all of this is also different when it's one-on-one and when it's done publicly: being insulted, spit on and beaten to the ground in front of many people isn't the same, either. Circumstances, again.

mnsc 7y ago
Yes of course context and circumstance matters but my point is that this "respect" thing that we are talking about requires a bit of empathy. And now that we have established that you have been clearly disrespected maybe you can go to your feelings that came when that happened, anger, fear, sadness I don't know and then imagine that the person you refer to by a pronoun that they don't relate to feel those feelings, even though you think that they shouldn't feel that way. Wouldn't it be respectful of you honor their wishes despite your opinion that this is a "very dangerous and toxic ideology" and an "overarching extension of individualism" (did you mean overreaching though?). Or do you just say "Fuck their feelings, I've been through worse, they should be glad it's 'only this'"?
- wazoox 7y ago
  Intentions matter. When someone calls me "madam", I know this bears generally no bad intent. Therefore I don't make any fuss about it. I've worked for a doctor doing sex change treatments, a long time ago. I've seen people that suffered incredibly. Some of them looked like caricatures, but that was certainly not funny. I took, naturally, great care in calling them "sir" or "madam" as they expected (and it sometimes required actual effort, and it was poignant and upsetting just thinking of the looks these persons must have received back outdoors). However I don't feel like wanting to be called some very special pronoun that nobody ever heard of because you're oh so special falls into the same category. I don't feel that people wanting to be in their own very special niche class of genre, race or whatever category is sane, good and healthy, or some form of progress. Happiness isn't finding some form of very individualistic achievement.
  - mnsc 7y ago
    > I don't feel that people wanting to be in their own very special niche class of genre, race or whatever category is sane, good and healthy, or some form of progress. Happiness isn't finding some form of very individualistic achievement. 1) That's not a feeling, that's an opinion. 2) And really? Do you think you have the answer to how people should find "happiness". Then you should write one more book on the subject and become another self help millionaire. You seem appropriately sure of yourself so, go nuts!
mnsc 7y ago
Side note: this is how you look in my mind. https://dethklok.fandom.com/wiki/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf https://dethklok.fandom.com/wiki/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf
- wazoox 7y ago
  Close enough.