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> women don't need it as much as men. This is only half the story. The full story goes: Women can choose who to date, men must compete. Men can choose who to

> women don't need it as much as men. This is only half the story. The full story goes: Women can choose who to date, men must compete. Men can choose who to marry, women must compete. Dating apps exclusively cater to category #1. This dynamic may or may not be creating an entire class of >25yo women who are unable to marry despite the desire to do so.

magduf 7y ago
Sorry, I don't buy it. Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands, and as a man I've had plenty of success finding women to date (not so much in finding someone I have any interest in marrying though; there aren't that many attractive women left in the US at this age (because Americans are fat), and the ones who are left have severe problems). I really think that most people who are critical of online dating are only looking at one demographic, being people who are 25 or under.
- missosoup 7y ago
  > but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands Yes. There's tons of them because they can't get a husband and the supply/demand curve inverts across the genders. The time to secure a husband was back in their 20s when they were on the favourable side of the curve. Those women are pursuing partners that pursue much younger women. To cut it short, female overall partner disirability peaks in their 20-30s and then falls off. Male continues rising until their 80s. Dating apps are amplifying this effect but are also amplifying its downside, across both genders. Is this a net win or lose for society? Idk, you decide. [1] https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-...
  - magduf 7y ago
    >female overall partner disirability peaks in their 20-30s and then falls off. Male continues rising until their 80s. There's a downside to this. Sure, as a man, you'll have a somewhat easier time as you get older because the male population is decreasing faster than the female population, but you have to be realistic: if you're 65, you're probably not going to be dating any pretty 30yo women, but you might have plenty of 55+ women to pick from. But if you only want to date physically attractive women, this imbalance in your favor isn't going to help you much, because at that age the women aren't looking too hot any more (especially in America, where obesity among women is rampant). So you might have tons of women chasing you, but you have no interest in any of them. And sure, you can proclaim that people shouldn't be motivated by looks, but men generally are, and that's usually how life-long relationships work out: the couple meets when they're young and there's physical attraction helping to bring them together, then they marry and age together, so when they're older their relationship is already established, so they don't need physical attraction too much. But for people looking for a new relationship, it's more important, and makes it harder to find a new relationship.
- treis 7y ago
  >Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, That's exactly the issue. Women ages 21-28ish are pursued by men ages 21-35ish. So there's more men chasing a smaller number of women.
- jayalpha 7y ago
  "Sorry, I don't buy it. Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands," Well, these women in her 40s rode the cock carousel far too long....
  - dang 7y ago
    > these women in her 40s rode the cock carousel far too long Not cool. Please don't do this on HN.
  - magduf 7y ago
    Not only is this offensive, it's just wrong. Lots of women at that age are single now because they were married, and are now divorced for some reason (like a good friend of mine whose husband shamelessly cheated on her and also stole their family money for unknown purposes (likely gambling)). This is around the age when lots of people, both men and women, find themselves back on the dating market because their marriage (or other LTR) fell apart, not because they were just avoiding serious relationships.
jayalpha 7y ago
Well, I can pick up women in bars you would not believe it. I could just tell a story from last week. Even I don't believe it. :-) But online dating is tricky. There may be people who can pull it off but for me the real world is easier. Also many women look good on pics but the pics are old or photoshopped.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]

magduf 7y ago

Sorry, I don't buy it. Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands, and as a man I've had plenty of success finding women to date (not so much in finding someone I have any interest in marrying though; there aren't that many attractive women left in the US at this age (because Americans are fat), and the ones who are left have severe problems). I really think that most people who are critical of online dating are only looking at one demographic, being people who are 25 or under.

missosoup 7y ago
> but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands Yes. There's tons of them because they can't get a husband and the supply/demand curve inverts across the genders. The time to secure a husband was back in their 20s when they were on the favourable side of the curve. Those women are pursuing partners that pursue much younger women. To cut it short, female overall partner disirability peaks in their 20-30s and then falls off. Male continues rising until their 80s. Dating apps are amplifying this effect but are also amplifying its downside, across both genders. Is this a net win or lose for society? Idk, you decide. [1] https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-...
- magduf 7y ago
  >female overall partner disirability peaks in their 20-30s and then falls off. Male continues rising until their 80s. There's a downside to this. Sure, as a man, you'll have a somewhat easier time as you get older because the male population is decreasing faster than the female population, but you have to be realistic: if you're 65, you're probably not going to be dating any pretty 30yo women, but you might have plenty of 55+ women to pick from. But if you only want to date physically attractive women, this imbalance in your favor isn't going to help you much, because at that age the women aren't looking too hot any more (especially in America, where obesity among women is rampant). So you might have tons of women chasing you, but you have no interest in any of them. And sure, you can proclaim that people shouldn't be motivated by looks, but men generally are, and that's usually how life-long relationships work out: the couple meets when they're young and there's physical attraction helping to bring them together, then they marry and age together, so when they're older their relationship is already established, so they don't need physical attraction too much. But for people looking for a new relationship, it's more important, and makes it harder to find a new relationship.
treis 7y ago
>Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, That's exactly the issue. Women ages 21-28ish are pursued by men ages 21-35ish. So there's more men chasing a smaller number of women.
jayalpha 7y ago
"Sorry, I don't buy it. Maybe if you're in your 20s this is true, but for people in their 40s, there's tons of women on the dating sites all looking for husbands," Well, these women in her 40s rode the cock carousel far too long....
- dang 7y ago
  > these women in her 40s rode the cock carousel far too long Not cool. Please don't do this on HN.
- magduf 7y ago
  Not only is this offensive, it's just wrong. Lots of women at that age are single now because they were married, and are now divorced for some reason (like a good friend of mine whose husband shamelessly cheated on her and also stole their family money for unknown purposes (likely gambling)). This is around the age when lots of people, both men and women, find themselves back on the dating market because their marriage (or other LTR) fell apart, not because they were just avoiding serious relationships.

jayalpha 7y ago

Well, I can pick up women in bars you would not believe it. I could just tell a story from last week. Even I don't believe it. :-) But online dating is tricky. There may be people who can pull it off but for me the real world is easier. Also many women look good on pics but the pics are old or photoshopped.

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]