5 ms·

Yeah, no. Noone needed to read some long ranty message to the end, on the "long form" dating websites of the past. And I doubt there were even that many long fo

by megous 7y ago

Yeah, no. Noone needed to read some long ranty message to the end, on the "long form" dating websites of the past. And I doubt there were even that many long form messages from men, given how many women complained in their profiles that they don't respond to "Hi! How're you?" and demanded men to put more effort in.

notyourday 7y ago
That's exactly what the long-form dating sites brought to women's inboxes. It was either tomes that would assemble into "War and Peace" within a couple of months without her participation, greatest hits like "So I'm in your area and I am just going to say I'm horny, how about we go to a motel and you give me a blow job" or "Hi. How are you". Think of it as her being a customer and you being a sales person at Best Buy. You want to sell her a specific TV ( your commission is higher ). Are you: a) going to start by printing a manual and all technical documentation and chase her around the store with it? b) walk up to her and say "This TV is great for watching porn" as the intro? c) Say "Hi. How are you?" and just stand there looking at her? None of those three approaches are going to close your sale. The customer is telling you that (c) does not work, you sort of understand that (a) does not work and your brain should tell you that (b) is probably not what you lead with. At least I hope your brain tells you that about (b). So now you have these inputs and she is still in your store and you can still make a sale and a commission. What do men who are unsuccessful with women do? They throw a temper tantrum about her not giving them a chance to sell the TV!
- megous 7y ago
  "Think of it as her being a customer and you being a sales person at Best Buy." Well that's the wrong approach right there. I'm glad to serve the needs of the other person, but I'll not approach someone with this mindset at the beginning (like sales people have to do). My approach at the beginning is that of exploration, and careless fun. I certainly don't want to start a relationship in a subservient role. Anyway, how's tinder any better? d) You walk up to someone, start opening your mouth for a word, and they swipe you aside, ignoring you. This weird liking of online interactions to real life ones doesn't really work. People act differently online, just a fact of life. Someone saying "Hi, how're you?" online may just end up being quite fine in real life. Not sure about the dickpic people though. LOL
  - notyourday 7y ago
    > Well that's the wrong approach right there. I'm glad to serve the needs of the other person, but I'll not approach someone with this mindset at the beginning (like sales people have to do). And how is it working for you? Because this seems to be the approach advocated and practiced by the "nice guys" who complain that they can't get a date. > You walk up to someone, start opening your mouth for a word, and they swipe you aside, ignoring you. It is great! It is called "No product market fit!"
    - megous 7y ago
      It worked great. But it was not an online dating. > It is great! It is called "No product market fit!" But that's not really differentiating it from the other a,b,c options you provided.
      - notyourday 7y ago
        > But that's not really differentiating it from the other a,b,c options you provided. Vs the long form? Of course it did. No time wasting for her and no time wasting for her suitor.
    - pault 7y ago
      Guys that claim that women aren't interested in them because they're too nice can't get a date because they don't understand women or themselves. There are plenty of nice guys that have success meeting women on their own terms. Women grow out of dating jerks in their twenties. Also, when a guy starts complaining about that, pay attention to the women he is pursuing. Are they nice, well balanced, and in his "league"? In my experience the guys who say that are chasing the female version of the "asshole" they claim is stealing all the women. Source: nice guy who has been dating nice girls for 15 years.
    - dang 7y ago
      Would you please stop posting flamebaity, unsubstantive comments to HN? You've been doing it a lot lately, and it's too much. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

by megous 7y ago

notyourday 7y ago

That's exactly what the long-form dating sites brought to women's inboxes. It was either tomes that would assemble into "War and Peace" within a couple of months without her participation, greatest hits like "So I'm in your area and I am just going to say I'm horny, how about we go to a motel and you give me a blow job" or "Hi. How are you". Think of it as her being a customer and you being a sales person at Best Buy. You want to sell her a specific TV ( your commission is higher ). Are you: a) going to start by printing a manual and all technical documentation and chase her around the store with it? b) walk up to her and say "This TV is great for watching porn" as the intro? c) Say "Hi. How are you?" and just stand there looking at her? None of those three approaches are going to close your sale. The customer is telling you that (c) does not work, you sort of understand that (a) does not work and your brain should tell you that (b) is probably not what you lead with. At least I hope your brain tells you that about (b). So now you have these inputs and she is still in your store and you can still make a sale and a commission. What do men who are unsuccessful with women do? They throw a temper tantrum about her not giving them a chance to sell the TV!

megous 7y ago
"Think of it as her being a customer and you being a sales person at Best Buy." Well that's the wrong approach right there. I'm glad to serve the needs of the other person, but I'll not approach someone with this mindset at the beginning (like sales people have to do). My approach at the beginning is that of exploration, and careless fun. I certainly don't want to start a relationship in a subservient role. Anyway, how's tinder any better? d) You walk up to someone, start opening your mouth for a word, and they swipe you aside, ignoring you. This weird liking of online interactions to real life ones doesn't really work. People act differently online, just a fact of life. Someone saying "Hi, how're you?" online may just end up being quite fine in real life. Not sure about the dickpic people though. LOL
- notyourday 7y ago
  > Well that's the wrong approach right there. I'm glad to serve the needs of the other person, but I'll not approach someone with this mindset at the beginning (like sales people have to do). And how is it working for you? Because this seems to be the approach advocated and practiced by the "nice guys" who complain that they can't get a date. > You walk up to someone, start opening your mouth for a word, and they swipe you aside, ignoring you. It is great! It is called "No product market fit!"
  - megous 7y ago
    It worked great. But it was not an online dating. > It is great! It is called "No product market fit!" But that's not really differentiating it from the other a,b,c options you provided.
    - notyourday 7y ago
      > But that's not really differentiating it from the other a,b,c options you provided. Vs the long form? Of course it did. No time wasting for her and no time wasting for her suitor.
  - pault 7y ago
    Guys that claim that women aren't interested in them because they're too nice can't get a date because they don't understand women or themselves. There are plenty of nice guys that have success meeting women on their own terms. Women grow out of dating jerks in their twenties. Also, when a guy starts complaining about that, pay attention to the women he is pursuing. Are they nice, well balanced, and in his "league"? In my experience the guys who say that are chasing the female version of the "asshole" they claim is stealing all the women. Source: nice guy who has been dating nice girls for 15 years.
  - dang 7y ago
    Would you please stop posting flamebaity, unsubstantive comments to HN? You've been doing it a lot lately, and it's too much. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html