4 ms·

The reality for someone like me, a very average looking guy, is then that I get zero messages. Doesn't really solve anything either.

by akuji1993 7y ago

mcv 7y ago
Average looking shouldn't be a problem to most people. Just don't look for people who want to date models. Use a dating site that focuses on content and interest rather than looks. But even if you're somewhere where the initial decision has to be made based on a photo, you can make that photo interesting. I met my wife on a dating site 13 years ago (a small, cheap one focused specifically on Christians), and although I probably had a profile with a whole supposedly-witty story about myself, the thing I remember is the photo; I used a photo from a recent vacation to Africa, with me selfie-style in front of the gate of Timbuctoo. Her first message to me included some reference to Ouagadougou, and that got the ball rolling. (Her photo was her on a sailing boat; also effective.) Don't use a photo where you look average, use a photo where you do something interesting. That says more about you than a chiseled jaw line.
- jfengel 7y ago
  Apps like Tinder seem like they'd be looks-focused, but it's true that a picture is worth a thousand words. What you're doing in the picture says a lot about you. So does being well-groomed and choosing a picture that's well-focused and well-composed. A nice smile goes a long way. Women aren't as looks-focused as a lot of frustrated men present them. Average is just fine, as long as your picture suggests somebody that they can engage with. "Below average" can also go a long way if you've chosen a picture that makes you look like what she wants, which might be "fun" or "family" or "kind". The men who think it's all about their looks are most likely the ones who only judge women by theirs. And while some women do that, the vast majority don't.
  - guskel 7y ago
    Do you have any data to back up your claims? Everything points to this not being the case.
    - mcv 7y ago
      What exactly points to that not being the case? A lot of people of average looks are happily married.
- guskel 7y ago
  You've been off the market for 13 years and have no clue how much things have changed.
  - mcv 7y ago
    That's entirely possible, but at the same time, I don't think the nature of people themselves changes so fundamentally. Culture and customs change, but not everybody wants to go along with that.
ChuckNorris89 7y ago
I'm also an average looking guy but got successful from learning pickup IRL.

The reality for someone like me, a very average looking guy, is then that I get zero messages. Doesn't really solve anything either.

mcv 7y ago

Average looking shouldn't be a problem to most people. Just don't look for people who want to date models. Use a dating site that focuses on content and interest rather than looks. But even if you're somewhere where the initial decision has to be made based on a photo, you can make that photo interesting. I met my wife on a dating site 13 years ago (a small, cheap one focused specifically on Christians), and although I probably had a profile with a whole supposedly-witty story about myself, the thing I remember is the photo; I used a photo from a recent vacation to Africa, with me selfie-style in front of the gate of Timbuctoo. Her first message to me included some reference to Ouagadougou, and that got the ball rolling. (Her photo was her on a sailing boat; also effective.) Don't use a photo where you look average, use a photo where you do something interesting. That says more about you than a chiseled jaw line.

jfengel 7y ago
Apps like Tinder seem like they'd be looks-focused, but it's true that a picture is worth a thousand words. What you're doing in the picture says a lot about you. So does being well-groomed and choosing a picture that's well-focused and well-composed. A nice smile goes a long way. Women aren't as looks-focused as a lot of frustrated men present them. Average is just fine, as long as your picture suggests somebody that they can engage with. "Below average" can also go a long way if you've chosen a picture that makes you look like what she wants, which might be "fun" or "family" or "kind". The men who think it's all about their looks are most likely the ones who only judge women by theirs. And while some women do that, the vast majority don't.
- guskel 7y ago
  Do you have any data to back up your claims? Everything points to this not being the case.
  - mcv 7y ago
    What exactly points to that not being the case? A lot of people of average looks are happily married.
guskel 7y ago
You've been off the market for 13 years and have no clue how much things have changed.
- mcv 7y ago
  That's entirely possible, but at the same time, I don't think the nature of people themselves changes so fundamentally. Culture and customs change, but not everybody wants to go along with that.

ChuckNorris89 7y ago

I'm also an average looking guy but got successful from learning pickup IRL.