I agree a lot with you. But something about the definition of assertiveness you gave... I think it's better to approach it as a means of making sure you are ta

I agree a lot with you. But something about the definition of assertiveness you gave... I think it's better to approach it as a means of making sure you are taking care of yourself, so you have the ability to take care of others. Like, let's put it in terms of being forced to work late. Why should you do it? For the same reason you work that job anyways. To provide for yourself and/or for your family. Either you are spending time on your family(or yourself) or you're making sure they(or just you) have a roof/food/etc. Thus, if you have to work late, you don't do it for free. You already miss out on family/me time. Thus, you get financially compensated. When you go with that mindset, the conversation naturally functions differently. This is how I negotiate contracts too. I don't discount. I never do. I always get something of equal value in return. If you just willy nilly throw out 10% of your quote, obviously you lack personal value. Whether it's money now, money later or bartering, I hold to my value. I dont think anyone should throw out personal value for the needs of others without truly good reason.