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It is a sad thing to say, but the simple solution to this alarming trend of rescinding consent after having consensual sex is to record the audio of your intera

by icu 7y ago

It is a sad thing to say, but the simple solution to this alarming trend of rescinding consent after having consensual sex is to record the audio of your interactions with the opposite sex. A voice-activated recorder that can store months worth of conversations can be purchased on Amazon quite cheaply. I've even heard of work situations where male managers refuse one-on-one meetings with female employees due to fear of being falsely accused of sexual impropriety. Again, in these work-related situations, recording the interaction may save your career. I realise the questionable ethics of recording someone when they don't know they are being recorded. I also understand that there may be legal ramifications for doing this depending on where you live. However, if you are falsely accused of sexual assault, with an audio recording proving consent, you can avoid the complete destruction of your life. You still may have to face the legal repercussions of recording the conversation, but this will be much smaller than the consequences of not being able to prove consent.

dclusin 7y ago
This is Richard Nixon level paranoia. I think that your second point is probably occurring quite a lot, especially in tech, where empathy & people skills aren't always high up on the list of priorities. But to walk around with suspicion to the point of carrying around a microphone is just lunacy. It's also an overreaction to such an unlikely outcome of being accused of misconduct with a female employee. It affects such a small segment of the population that your suggestion to walk around wired seems vastly excessive. There's probably something more reasonable that can be done.
- maximente 7y ago
  > But to walk around with suspicion to the point of carrying around a microphone is just lunacy you are straw manning heavily here. OP suggested recording high stakes interactions with the potential to turn sour at a later date, not what you've said here about walking around wired. what are your arguments against saving evidence for high stakes interactions that could turn into socially and career ruining consequences later? you know this is done in non-sexual contexts e.g. police interviews already, right?
  - dclusin 7y ago
    Conversations in the workplace happen organically. Sometimes the CEO will approach you at the water cooler and say, hey, got a sec? What are you gonna do? Say "brb let me grab my recording device?" Or start filming the encounter like people film the police?
    - icu 7y ago
      I'm not talking about all out surveillance of all human interactions. I'm talking about being in a closed office with a female employee one on one, or when 'going out on the pull'. Basically your workplace, bars/clubs, or other high risk situations or venues especially where alcohol is served. I'm also talking about keeping the device in your pocket as you would your wallet or keys... or more like a swiss army knife. You may never need it, but if you do, you'll be glad it's there.
- icu 7y ago
  It's not lunacy as society has forgone due process to the point that Harvard Law adjudicators, who are women no less, are sounding the alarm. If you can't imagine it happening to you, say it happens to your father, or your brother, or your son. The asymmetrical damage of a false sexual assault allegation is so far skewed to the accuser it's telling that you haven't suggested a more ethical and practical way of protecting yourself. I'm all ears, with an open heart and mind but I just cannot think of any other means of defending against this problem.
  - dclusin 7y ago
    It's definitely a scary situation for sure. Especially considering that having due process is something that's been drilled into our heads since a very young age. From a practical perspective I just don't see any personal benefit from implementing these sorts prophylactic actions, given how rare these occurrences actually are. Being shot in America is certainly a very dangerous reality that we live with, and depending where you live it may be more likely than not. Given this, I don't go around wearing bullet proof plate armor in public to minimize my risk of being injured by a shooter. I think that the best defense against these sorts of outcomes is to engage in public discourse, and correct bad & unfair policy outcomes as they become apparent. Participating in the dialog and talking about it with friends and family I think is enough action for me. Hopefully I'm not unlucky.

by icu 7y ago

dclusin 7y ago

This is Richard Nixon level paranoia. I think that your second point is probably occurring quite a lot, especially in tech, where empathy & people skills aren't always high up on the list of priorities. But to walk around with suspicion to the point of carrying around a microphone is just lunacy. It's also an overreaction to such an unlikely outcome of being accused of misconduct with a female employee. It affects such a small segment of the population that your suggestion to walk around wired seems vastly excessive. There's probably something more reasonable that can be done.

maximente 7y ago
> But to walk around with suspicion to the point of carrying around a microphone is just lunacy you are straw manning heavily here. OP suggested recording high stakes interactions with the potential to turn sour at a later date, not what you've said here about walking around wired. what are your arguments against saving evidence for high stakes interactions that could turn into socially and career ruining consequences later? you know this is done in non-sexual contexts e.g. police interviews already, right?
- dclusin 7y ago
  Conversations in the workplace happen organically. Sometimes the CEO will approach you at the water cooler and say, hey, got a sec? What are you gonna do? Say "brb let me grab my recording device?" Or start filming the encounter like people film the police?
  - icu 7y ago
    I'm not talking about all out surveillance of all human interactions. I'm talking about being in a closed office with a female employee one on one, or when 'going out on the pull'. Basically your workplace, bars/clubs, or other high risk situations or venues especially where alcohol is served. I'm also talking about keeping the device in your pocket as you would your wallet or keys... or more like a swiss army knife. You may never need it, but if you do, you'll be glad it's there.
icu 7y ago
It's not lunacy as society has forgone due process to the point that Harvard Law adjudicators, who are women no less, are sounding the alarm. If you can't imagine it happening to you, say it happens to your father, or your brother, or your son. The asymmetrical damage of a false sexual assault allegation is so far skewed to the accuser it's telling that you haven't suggested a more ethical and practical way of protecting yourself. I'm all ears, with an open heart and mind but I just cannot think of any other means of defending against this problem.
- dclusin 7y ago
  It's definitely a scary situation for sure. Especially considering that having due process is something that's been drilled into our heads since a very young age. From a practical perspective I just don't see any personal benefit from implementing these sorts prophylactic actions, given how rare these occurrences actually are. Being shot in America is certainly a very dangerous reality that we live with, and depending where you live it may be more likely than not. Given this, I don't go around wearing bullet proof plate armor in public to minimize my risk of being injured by a shooter. I think that the best defense against these sorts of outcomes is to engage in public discourse, and correct bad & unfair policy outcomes as they become apparent. Participating in the dialog and talking about it with friends and family I think is enough action for me. Hopefully I'm not unlucky.