3 ms·

> What happens when a ‘gifted child’ finds himself in a wilderness where he’s stripped away of any way of proving his worth? You primarily prove your worth to

> What happens when a ‘gifted child’ finds himself in a wilderness where he’s stripped away of any way of proving his worth? You primarily prove your worth to yourself, and if that capability is stripped away then you get depressed. You learn helplessness. The author is conflating proving your worth to proving your worth to others. Then he goes on to make an insane conclusion to shed the self, dissolve the ego.. This is the type of guidance that gives gurus and pseudo-counselors a job for life. I have a commitment to my family, and I know deep down that it’s primarily because of the benefit to my own well-being. I had kids because I wanted them. So what I benefit? If I’m a good dad, everyone wins. There is no other motivation mechanism in the natural world.

jadbox 7y ago
But how do you know your own worth? Worth being a social construct requires the evaluation of others. You cannot give yourself worth any more than you can 'give' yourself material wealth in a thought. The value of self worth is in direct proportion to the defined ego: the thing the creates the distinction between the "I" and "Them". Ergo, if you give yourself a worth, you are feeding your ego an illusion of social acceptance of the 'Other'. The way to move beyond the whole craving situation is to reduce the desire for the self-worth (i.e. putting the ego on a diet).
- riazrizvi 7y ago
  You know your worth (in the moment) primarily as the felt experience of your calm-energy level. When it goes up, you’re firing on all cylinders in a non-manic way, you are at your 100%. That is a person who is experiencing their worth. If that is driven by the evaluation of others (as you perceive it), then what happens to you if you are around manipulative people who want you to behave in their best interests at the expense of your own? And since you can assume that you will generally find yourself around such people, I can tell you that narrative, ‘worth is a social construct requiring the evaluation of others’, is a path to misery. You sure can include the opinion of others, you should to some degree as we live in a society, and our safety and support depends on other people, but you should make an assessment of the people who are making judgements on you. If you are around criminals, gaining their approval is likelier to land you in jail, which will lead to a future with diminished calm-energy. (Though if you cannot escape savage circumstances outside then maybe jail is better for you).
  - jadbox 7y ago
    I know what your saying, but I think it's still reversed. What is this "worth" of "calm-energy level"? I like being calm, but I find no rewarding value (aside from a better mood). Instead, what I'm defining is that your sense of calm arises from when you just stop looking to define yourself (and your worth). The calm is a byproduct of feeling more connected between things- which necessitates the awareness of worth to diminish. How can one thing and other thing have worth if they are all the same, interconnected thing? Seeking self-worth is predestined to make you never find it. This is a bit similar with self-love, where love is something you 'allow' to happen (instead of 'giving'). Loving yourself is allowing yourself to be yourself, which is why it's also called self-acceptance.

jadbox 7y ago

But how do you know your own worth? Worth being a social construct requires the evaluation of others. You cannot give yourself worth any more than you can 'give' yourself material wealth in a thought. The value of self worth is in direct proportion to the defined ego: the thing the creates the distinction between the "I" and "Them". Ergo, if you give yourself a worth, you are feeding your ego an illusion of social acceptance of the 'Other'. The way to move beyond the whole craving situation is to reduce the desire for the self-worth (i.e. putting the ego on a diet).

riazrizvi 7y ago
You know your worth (in the moment) primarily as the felt experience of your calm-energy level. When it goes up, you’re firing on all cylinders in a non-manic way, you are at your 100%. That is a person who is experiencing their worth. If that is driven by the evaluation of others (as you perceive it), then what happens to you if you are around manipulative people who want you to behave in their best interests at the expense of your own? And since you can assume that you will generally find yourself around such people, I can tell you that narrative, ‘worth is a social construct requiring the evaluation of others’, is a path to misery. You sure can include the opinion of others, you should to some degree as we live in a society, and our safety and support depends on other people, but you should make an assessment of the people who are making judgements on you. If you are around criminals, gaining their approval is likelier to land you in jail, which will lead to a future with diminished calm-energy. (Though if you cannot escape savage circumstances outside then maybe jail is better for you).
- jadbox 7y ago
  I know what your saying, but I think it's still reversed. What is this "worth" of "calm-energy level"? I like being calm, but I find no rewarding value (aside from a better mood). Instead, what I'm defining is that your sense of calm arises from when you just stop looking to define yourself (and your worth). The calm is a byproduct of feeling more connected between things- which necessitates the awareness of worth to diminish. How can one thing and other thing have worth if they are all the same, interconnected thing? Seeking self-worth is predestined to make you never find it. This is a bit similar with self-love, where love is something you 'allow' to happen (instead of 'giving'). Loving yourself is allowing yourself to be yourself, which is why it's also called self-acceptance.