4 ms·

It is hard to explain everything, but it started when I was a teenager and talked to people at my school about abuse at home. My father hired a team of lawyers

It is hard to explain everything, but it started when I was a teenager and talked to people at my school about abuse at home. My father hired a team of lawyers after that and they cut a deal with child services which had me shipped off into the Troubled Teen Industry. There I experienced the start of this pattern of abuse and a cult of personality of put downs to me started. It sounds crazy, but I had some authorities there just telling me put downs all the time, like it was a scene from a movie about certain math prodigy at Harvard. When I was 18 I was taken out of there and then just homeless. By my mid-20s I had a lot of problems with extreme bullying again and unexplainable negativity towards me, but after a short stint with homelessness again I moved to a new city, applied for some jobs and got up to a about 80-90k compensation within a year there. Then I started having problems again with stalking and apparent intent to harm me. This probably reads as unreal, unbelievable. If I didn't know better and read someone write this on the internet, I'd think it reads like the person has paranoid delusions, mental illness.

schwurb 7y ago
Hey there! I am sorry for what you have been through so far. Since I am to go soon, I will keep it short: 1) I heavily suggest going into counceling. The change of behaviour and self concept needed might be too much to manage on your own. 2) It is a unfortunate, but well-researched phenomenon that perpetuators go for a certain type of personality that expresses itself by way of talking an non-verbal communication. There is also such a thing as bad, bad luck, but social dynamics also play a role. This is an area where you can likely improve aswell: Recognizing your feelings, others feeling and actions, and what is okay and not okay for you, Gotta go now, all the best tho! Your problems seem treatable to me, but it might take time. You can do this.
- philpem 7y ago
  I'd be very interested in some research backing up (2). Not because I don't believe you (actually I very much do). More that I'm curious and want to find out more about this phenomena.
  - DoreenMichele 7y ago
    I haven't read these thoroughly, but hopefully it's a place to start. I searched for "picking victims study." That seemed to come up with some hits. A search for "group dynamics abuse" was less helpful. Targets who displayed vulnerable body language were more likely to report past histories of victimization, and psychopaths identified these individuals as being more vulnerable to future victimization. https://www.workplacebullying.org/gait/ https://www.workplacebullying.org/gait/ What Do Sexual Predators Look For When Grooming Victims? https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/jeffrey-epstein-what-do-sexual-predators-look-for-in-victims https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/jeffrey-epstein-what-do-se... Short Circuiting the Victim Selection Process http://www.protectivestrategies.com/victim-selection.html http://www.protectivestrategies.com/victim-selection.html Marked for Mayhem https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200901/marked-mayhem https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200901/marked-ma...
  - schwurb 7y ago
    Sure thing! In all honesty, that was something that I heart from my mother. (She works in psychology, but she is not an academic. So I should probably retract the "well" in "well-researched") But a quick research turned up these two sources: General info about Victims, Bullies, Victim-Bullies https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/07/bully-victim https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/07/bully-victim More on point: In-depth about who is more likely to become a victim http://www.euro.who.int/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/98783/E90619.pdf http://www.euro.who.int/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/98783/E9...
- wallace_f 7y ago
  I don't know how to say this without it coming across the wrong way, but if we look back up the thread the topic was about victims having difficult social circumstances, or even just unsolvable, abusive ones. I always see this pattern when talking about tyranny and its victims. When it is talked about in an abstracted sense (meaning you are distanced from the situation by time or place), it is almost always in the above context of toxic environments. But when it is addressed directly, the focus turns to the victim and trying to identify what is wrong with them, not with the group. I know it is a long shot but I am really eager to document the extreme abusiveness and kind of life-ruining tyranny I've experienced. I want to raise awareness and stop this from happening to anyone else.
  - schwurb 7y ago
    > But when it is addressed directly, the focus turns to the victim and trying to identify what is wrong with them, not with the group. This is because it is the only effective way to change anything. The victim has to recognize their situation, develop the will to escape / change it, and then do concrete steps. Of course, not alone. You are not guilty of anything, but it is still your responsability to change your life if you want it. It is hard and shitty, but nobody will change because you feel shitty. It is the same as with every other difficult situation. I could stagnate my whole life, complaining about nobody helped me when I first voiced suicidal thoughts at age 10. I was fucking hard and many people failed me, including me. I did not have a childhood. I see every right to complain and blame others. But who will this help? No one. I had to change something. Because my environment is the last thing that will change. > I want to raise awareness and stop this from happening to anyone else. I will be blunt: This is not an effective way of achieving this goal. Much more effective would be to 1) get help (helps you to tackle those problems in your environment) and 2) join an organization that does deal with bullying (they likely know how to reach more people more effectively).
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
    - wallace_f 7y ago
      >I will be blunt Are you sure? Maybe your ideas would do better in my situation, maybe they'd fare worse? Whenever we hear about bad history, such as what happened in Nazi Germany, religious persecutions, or even witch trials, everyone says they'd help them. My story is different mostly in the sense that whoever is trying to kill me or inflict ill will to me hasn't succeeded yet, and that my tyranny is not part of a collective, it is against an individual. I don't want to be combative for its own sake. What I mean is to get at is I don't really know how much time to put into this advice. Help from whom? What organization?
travisjungroth 7y ago
Thank you for sharing. To me, every part of your story sounds completely believable. CPS has limited resources and a lawyered up parent can beat them. I’ve heard of institutions based on abuse like you described. Someone who went through what you did would likely end up homeless, but then there’s a chance they can beat that and get a good paying job. And then it’s a well known phenomenon that people who have been victimized at some point in their life are more likely to experience it again, later. I don’t know you past your comments, but nothing I read sounds like paranoid delusions or mental illness. I’m not a therapist, but I suggest you talk to one. I’m guessing you have health insurance with your good job. They wouldn’t have to give you a severe diagnoses to have it covered. I don’t know you, but maybe a professional would find you to be dealing with Adjustment Disorder or Anxiety. A professional therapist could be the trusted advocate that you need. My caution is to only go with a licensed therapist, and one that gives you a good gut feeling. Be 100% prepared to walk away if this person starts acting like the abusers in your life. And avoid unlicensed people like “life coaches”. Some of them are great, but I also think they have a higher rate of people who just enjoy having power over other people, and that’s the last thing you need. I hope this helps.
- wallace_f 7y ago
  Thanks for responding, but I quit my job a several years ago and even left the country so I think this is not easy to come by.
DoreenMichele 7y ago
This probably reads as unreal, unbelievable. No, it doesn't.

schwurb 7y ago

Hey there! I am sorry for what you have been through so far. Since I am to go soon, I will keep it short: 1) I heavily suggest going into counceling. The change of behaviour and self concept needed might be too much to manage on your own. 2) It is a unfortunate, but well-researched phenomenon that perpetuators go for a certain type of personality that expresses itself by way of talking an non-verbal communication. There is also such a thing as bad, bad luck, but social dynamics also play a role. This is an area where you can likely improve aswell: Recognizing your feelings, others feeling and actions, and what is okay and not okay for you, Gotta go now, all the best tho! Your problems seem treatable to me, but it might take time. You can do this.

philpem 7y ago
I'd be very interested in some research backing up (2). Not because I don't believe you (actually I very much do). More that I'm curious and want to find out more about this phenomena.
- DoreenMichele 7y ago
  I haven't read these thoroughly, but hopefully it's a place to start. I searched for "picking victims study." That seemed to come up with some hits. A search for "group dynamics abuse" was less helpful. Targets who displayed vulnerable body language were more likely to report past histories of victimization, and psychopaths identified these individuals as being more vulnerable to future victimization. https://www.workplacebullying.org/gait/ https://www.workplacebullying.org/gait/ What Do Sexual Predators Look For When Grooming Victims? https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/jeffrey-epstein-what-do-sexual-predators-look-for-in-victims https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/jeffrey-epstein-what-do-se... Short Circuiting the Victim Selection Process http://www.protectivestrategies.com/victim-selection.html http://www.protectivestrategies.com/victim-selection.html Marked for Mayhem https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200901/marked-mayhem https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200901/marked-ma...
- schwurb 7y ago
  Sure thing! In all honesty, that was something that I heart from my mother. (She works in psychology, but she is not an academic. So I should probably retract the "well" in "well-researched") But a quick research turned up these two sources: General info about Victims, Bullies, Victim-Bullies https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/07/bully-victim https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/07/bully-victim More on point: In-depth about who is more likely to become a victim http://www.euro.who.int/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/98783/E90619.pdf http://www.euro.who.int/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/98783/E9...
wallace_f 7y ago
I don't know how to say this without it coming across the wrong way, but if we look back up the thread the topic was about victims having difficult social circumstances, or even just unsolvable, abusive ones. I always see this pattern when talking about tyranny and its victims. When it is talked about in an abstracted sense (meaning you are distanced from the situation by time or place), it is almost always in the above context of toxic environments. But when it is addressed directly, the focus turns to the victim and trying to identify what is wrong with them, not with the group. I know it is a long shot but I am really eager to document the extreme abusiveness and kind of life-ruining tyranny I've experienced. I want to raise awareness and stop this from happening to anyone else.
- schwurb 7y ago
  > But when it is addressed directly, the focus turns to the victim and trying to identify what is wrong with them, not with the group. This is because it is the only effective way to change anything. The victim has to recognize their situation, develop the will to escape / change it, and then do concrete steps. Of course, not alone. You are not guilty of anything, but it is still your responsability to change your life if you want it. It is hard and shitty, but nobody will change because you feel shitty. It is the same as with every other difficult situation. I could stagnate my whole life, complaining about nobody helped me when I first voiced suicidal thoughts at age 10. I was fucking hard and many people failed me, including me. I did not have a childhood. I see every right to complain and blame others. But who will this help? No one. I had to change something. Because my environment is the last thing that will change. > I want to raise awareness and stop this from happening to anyone else. I will be blunt: This is not an effective way of achieving this goal. Much more effective would be to 1) get help (helps you to tackle those problems in your environment) and 2) join an organization that does deal with bullying (they likely know how to reach more people more effectively).
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
  - wallace_f 7y ago
    >I will be blunt Are you sure? Maybe your ideas would do better in my situation, maybe they'd fare worse? Whenever we hear about bad history, such as what happened in Nazi Germany, religious persecutions, or even witch trials, everyone says they'd help them. My story is different mostly in the sense that whoever is trying to kill me or inflict ill will to me hasn't succeeded yet, and that my tyranny is not part of a collective, it is against an individual. I don't want to be combative for its own sake. What I mean is to get at is I don't really know how much time to put into this advice. Help from whom? What organization?

travisjungroth 7y ago

Thank you for sharing. To me, every part of your story sounds completely believable. CPS has limited resources and a lawyered up parent can beat them. I’ve heard of institutions based on abuse like you described. Someone who went through what you did would likely end up homeless, but then there’s a chance they can beat that and get a good paying job. And then it’s a well known phenomenon that people who have been victimized at some point in their life are more likely to experience it again, later. I don’t know you past your comments, but nothing I read sounds like paranoid delusions or mental illness. I’m not a therapist, but I suggest you talk to one. I’m guessing you have health insurance with your good job. They wouldn’t have to give you a severe diagnoses to have it covered. I don’t know you, but maybe a professional would find you to be dealing with Adjustment Disorder or Anxiety. A professional therapist could be the trusted advocate that you need. My caution is to only go with a licensed therapist, and one that gives you a good gut feeling. Be 100% prepared to walk away if this person starts acting like the abusers in your life. And avoid unlicensed people like “life coaches”. Some of them are great, but I also think they have a higher rate of people who just enjoy having power over other people, and that’s the last thing you need. I hope this helps.

wallace_f 7y ago
Thanks for responding, but I quit my job a several years ago and even left the country so I think this is not easy to come by.

DoreenMichele 7y ago

This probably reads as unreal, unbelievable. No, it doesn't.