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The article tells us to prefer some phrases: - I want to speak with you (instead of: talk to you). - Is there something else you'd like to talk about? (instea

The article tells us to prefer some phrases: - I want to speak with you (instead of: talk to you). - Is there something else you'd like to talk about? (instead of: anything else). To ellicit a better response from your interlocutors. The story goes that "talk" and "anything" show only apparent openness to engage in dialogue due to cultural associations/cliches, not actual interest. In particular they mention the second one in the context of meetings. I think I'll try that one as a very informal experiment as I tend to prefer "anything" when asking that in meetings and I don't get a great response usually.

asplake 7y ago
There’s a third alternative to “Is there something/anything else?” recommended in some coaching books: “What else?”
- chrisseaton 7y ago
  > “What else?” But that's not even a complete sentence! That's a terrible question! What on earth would you want as a response to that? If someone said to me 'what else?' I'd just think 'what else... what?' What else were you planning to do today? What else did I need to tell you? What else did you need to tell me? What else did I want to ask? What are you asking me 'else' about?
  - sah2ed 7y ago
    > But that's not even a complete sentence! Why do you consider the sentence incomplete when the context of the sentence you quoted is quite clear. FWIW, it was beaten over our heads in school that merely writing “Yes.” in response to a question is not a complete sentence, but that may have been a pedagogical rule rather than a grammatical rule, to force students to learn proper grammar. A sentence will generally not make sense out of context[0] anyway. 0: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_(linguistics)#Major_and_minor_sentences https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_(linguistics)#Major_a...
wutbrodo 7y ago
> In particular they mention the second one in the context of meetings. I think I'll try that one as a very informal experiment as I tend to prefer "anything" when asking that in meetings and I don't get a great response usually. I'm pretty surprised to hear this one. I've never taken that phrase as dismissive, and it didn't occur to me that anyone else would (and it's my experience that plenty of times, others will bring things up upon that question being asked).
atoav 7y ago
I think this is what successful communication should do: try to link to information beyond the actual words used. So in the example of “is there something else you want to talk about”, you might be pointing to a specific thing inside the thoughts of the person opposite and even if they didn’t even think about it, you speaking these words can literally materialize it inside their head.

asplake 7y ago

There’s a third alternative to “Is there something/anything else?” recommended in some coaching books: “What else?”

chrisseaton 7y ago
> “What else?” But that's not even a complete sentence! That's a terrible question! What on earth would you want as a response to that? If someone said to me 'what else?' I'd just think 'what else... what?' What else were you planning to do today? What else did I need to tell you? What else did you need to tell me? What else did I want to ask? What are you asking me 'else' about?
- sah2ed 7y ago
  > But that's not even a complete sentence! Why do you consider the sentence incomplete when the context of the sentence you quoted is quite clear. FWIW, it was beaten over our heads in school that merely writing “Yes.” in response to a question is not a complete sentence, but that may have been a pedagogical rule rather than a grammatical rule, to force students to learn proper grammar. A sentence will generally not make sense out of context[0] anyway. 0: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_(linguistics)#Major_and_minor_sentences https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_(linguistics)#Major_a...

wutbrodo 7y ago

> In particular they mention the second one in the context of meetings. I think I'll try that one as a very informal experiment as I tend to prefer "anything" when asking that in meetings and I don't get a great response usually. I'm pretty surprised to hear this one. I've never taken that phrase as dismissive, and it didn't occur to me that anyone else would (and it's my experience that plenty of times, others will bring things up upon that question being asked).

atoav 7y ago

I think this is what successful communication should do: try to link to information beyond the actual words used. So in the example of “is there something else you want to talk about”, you might be pointing to a specific thing inside the thoughts of the person opposite and even if they didn’t even think about it, you speaking these words can literally materialize it inside their head.