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I had my first child several days ago. I am half asleep typing this. This isn't preparation as much as it is a warning. Here's what I think I have learned so fa
by lghh 7y ago
I had my first child several days ago. I am half asleep typing this. This isn't preparation as much as it is a warning. Here's what I think I have learned so far and what I didn't know:
1. The lactation specialists at the hospital can be rude, aggressive, and pushy. Or at least come off that way when you're pissed and desperate to get your child some food. We have ran into many issues breastfeeding and the lactation specialists (3 at the hospital during our stay) seemed to be very against using any kind of aids to feed. Despite what they say, don't be afraid to try nipple shields, bottles, and, gasp, formula as a supplement or replacement. Your kid has to eat.
2. Every family situation is different, but if you and your partner can you should work in shifts. Particularly if you are breastfeeding and ESPECIALLY if you are pumping, the parent doing that work is not going to sleep more than 2 hours at a time the first few days. If that. Ideally, partners shirts be up as little as possible at the same time so everyone has a chance to sleep.
3. Every minute matters when you're on a baby's schedule. It's the difference between sleeping or not.
4. Have quick, filling things available to eat. I had to choose between sleeping and eating a lot and it sucked.
5. Who knows if any of this will be true for your baby or birthing expert. Everyone is different. Some doctors or nurses don't get this. They suck. Many do and they are great.
6. We took a birthing class and it seemed great at the time, and I'm sure it's helped, but man oh man is the real thing different.
7. Learn to swaddle.
8. Learn to enjoy both the quiet and the chaotic moments. Living is hard, and I've done it for a while. Your baby hasn't and is learning.
- rpedela 7y agoMy wife had a lot of difficulty with breastfeeding for the first month, and our experience with lactation specialists was mixed. Several were horrible like the ones you described. One was amazing and her primary advice was "feed your baby", formula was fine. Her other primary advice was "take care of yourself" such as using nipple shields. Not only can the nipples be sore, but too much damage can lead to more serious complications. Everything else could be fixed/improved over time. Sometimes the baby is tongue-tied, like ours, and the breastfeeding advice is unlikely to work until that is fixed. Again the lactation specialists didn't think to look for that except the amazing one. BTW Congratulations!
- rubidium 7y agoAgreed here. If any breastfeeding issues definitely check for tongue tie. Also know that some hospitals won’t diagnose it at all (but not tell you that’s their policy) or only the severe cases. Check with an independent specialist if that’s the case.
- lghh 7y agoBaby is tongue tied, lip tied, and my wife has inverted nipples. Basically the there things that make this hard :/.
- btowngar 7y agoGood advice. We found (in SF) that the lactation consultants and many of the neonatal healthcare providers came across as quite pushy promoting breastfeeding when the reality is that it doesn't work for every parent. I think it's good to try it, but if it doesn't work out then just feed the kid with formula and don't beat yourself up about it.
- lghh 7y agoThanks :) My child is tongue tied, lip tied, and my wife has inverted nipples. Nipple shields are past just being a comfort thing, which is useful on its own, to being the starting point to even attempting anything. Even with those there things, the specialists in the hospital were aggressive pushing against using shields and kept saying we'd regret using them. It's like they were disinterested in my my baby even eating if it didn't fit an aesthetic ideal if what breastfeeding should be.
- kraftman 7y agoI think the jury is still out on swaddling: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/to-swaddle-or-not-to-swaddle-thats-the-new-parental-question/article4560252/ https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/to-swaddle-or...