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I'm a Meek and one of the strategies I have developed for dealing with more interrupt-based communicators is to rely on an asynchronous, written medium. Be it s

by otikik 7y ago

I'm a Meek and one of the strategies I have developed for dealing with more interrupt-based communicators is to rely on an asynchronous, written medium. Be it slack, a shared google drive doc, whatever. "Hey, can we have a meeting to discuss X" will often be answered by "here's my written opinion on X and the different options I see. If you still think we need to meet, here's my availability". If this doesn't remove the meeting completely, it allows you to prepare and state your opinion in advance. Some people don't like it. It's easier to do when you are remote with a significant time difference.

DoreenMichele 7y ago
I'm prone to interrupting people. It's worse if I'm not feeling heard, if I really feel they are missing a lot of important information and for a few other reasons. I have found email and other forms of written communication wonderful for effectively sidestepping the worst problems. I can lay everything out that I think matters in an order that communicates effectively. It's much easier to do something like that in writing than in conversation, especially when there are time constraints and you don't know them that well or otherwise don't have the best rapport.
bartread 7y ago
This is a valid approach, but it does have a problem: it can lead to long back and forth messaging/email exchanges, including lengthy messages. I don't, generally, have time to write long messages, nor (often) to read them, so as soon as I see this happening I've started to point out the behaviour and set up a short meeting to resolve whatever the issues are.
- atq2119 7y ago
  Maybe those short meetings loose some of the nuance of the longer written discussion and lead to worse decisions. I'm reminded of Amazon's supposed culture of well-written memos ahead of meetings.
- mannykannot 7y ago
  There is no guarantee that a short meeting will resolve something that has already been the subject of a long discussion, though I will grant that long discussions are often the result of at least one party not paying attention to what the other is saying, and only the intervention of a third party can break that deadlock. Having one party who only reads the subject line before replying will sabotage any attempt at resolving an issue through email.

by otikik 7y ago

DoreenMichele 7y ago

I'm prone to interrupting people. It's worse if I'm not feeling heard, if I really feel they are missing a lot of important information and for a few other reasons. I have found email and other forms of written communication wonderful for effectively sidestepping the worst problems. I can lay everything out that I think matters in an order that communicates effectively. It's much easier to do something like that in writing than in conversation, especially when there are time constraints and you don't know them that well or otherwise don't have the best rapport.

bartread 7y ago

This is a valid approach, but it does have a problem: it can lead to long back and forth messaging/email exchanges, including lengthy messages. I don't, generally, have time to write long messages, nor (often) to read them, so as soon as I see this happening I've started to point out the behaviour and set up a short meeting to resolve whatever the issues are.

atq2119 7y ago
Maybe those short meetings loose some of the nuance of the longer written discussion and lead to worse decisions. I'm reminded of Amazon's supposed culture of well-written memos ahead of meetings.
mannykannot 7y ago
There is no guarantee that a short meeting will resolve something that has already been the subject of a long discussion, though I will grant that long discussions are often the result of at least one party not paying attention to what the other is saying, and only the intervention of a third party can break that deadlock. Having one party who only reads the subject line before replying will sabotage any attempt at resolving an issue through email.